Wow. Sleep like real sleep is a new experience. I know Ambien is a drug but I felt refreshed when I woke up, as opposed to hung over from seroquel and dragging myself through the day. But damn I slept so, so, good and was able to just get up and go. I'm guessing sleep is about the second most boring topic possible (after accounting), but this is so rare. It's the kind of sleep I used to have as a kid after running around and riding bikes all day, before I had any idea what the word anxiety even meant.

Not kidding myself though I don't expect this to be long term. I am guessing the effects are only good cause it's new to me, and I have no desire to be dependent on yet another sedative. My goal is to someday go to sleep without taking anything and stay asleep for at least 5 hours. I used to be able to do that up to about my second year of grad school and then that all changed. Wonder why my pdoc didn't put me on Ambien at the beginning or at least try it when I said Seroquel made me catatonic.

Lesson learned here I would guess is to find a new doc if they keep you on a med for months after you say it's doing more harm than good. One month, maybe it just needs to build up in the system, but if it still sucks beyond that and she keeps giving refills, time to move on. Second, it's okay to look for a new doc if the current one isn't working out. Regardless, this is too complicated. I want to be off everything but coffee and the occasional Tylenol. Too risky with all the side effects.

On an unrelated but nice note, I've been getting compliments from guys lately. Guys who don't look so bad themselves. Personally I'd put myself at a 6/10 on a good day but I'm okay with a little ego boost. One of the guys I met is super dominant, which turns out to be my number one ultra favorite turn on, ever. So that was nice.