Something is wrong, Sue, and you're numbing your pain to distance yourself from the pain.

Tell your therapist the truth. I know it hurts, but that hurt can't be healed until you face it.

I'm sorry for your pain.

hello Sue's manager part. My manager part gets dug in and defiant like this sometimes too...

sweetsue, ((((((( hugs ))))))))

This is for all of our manager parts when overwhelmed :(

Wish I could give you a real hug, Sue. Please, please take care of yourself.

it sounds like you might be having trouble convincing yourself. =

Wish I could hang out with you today on a sunny log, sis

Sue, you're in trouble and you need help. Can you call someone? We all care very much about you. I am scared for you. You're on a self-destructive path right now. We're here supporting you. Please call your therapist. I'm worried.

Are the voices/vultures playing up again, Sue? Now is the time to fight for yourself. Numbing won't work. You're placing yourself in danger. This is not good. You need to get yourself some help. You need to call for help. I can't do much here from across the country... It's up to you, Sue. You aren't safe right now. Please make the call.

I dont like the vultures and voices - they have to STFU. And stay that way. They are mean.....

Dont think Im putting myself in any sort of danger - for that to happen I have to take notice of things that are dangerous - at the time that they are dangerous...

IF something scares me - it dont make it dangerous - just means Im being a chicken shit, and have to tell myself to stop being so bloody pathetic - coz once its past a certain point - there aint no going back or stopping things so its a case of TS and deal.

I was just being wimpish earlier - its ok now - all is fine, seriously - just perfect.

Calling my therapist wont achieve much of anything really. Its not important for her to know about any of it. Im not ill, Im a tad foolish at times and probably doing things that arent entirely legitimate or particulary respectful of myself - but that shit cant matter. Coz that shit is the shit that makes me feel, IDK.... 'something' other than dead.

Sheeze listen to me I sound so morbid and pathetic - things aint so bad - could be worse

My work has finished for the day - always a bonus - YAY !!!

..... And soon Im off out for the evening, bigger YAY

everything is just cool, im fine - nothings wrong - its a perfect day

You don't need to be sorry. I'm not trying to be an ass, I just don't know what else to say. You're posting all of this because you KNOW its fucked up. Are you looking for us to convince you? You know what you need to do. You know we support you.

Call your therapist. This needs to stop. You're scaring me.