Would it help to express your feelings? I'm sorry you're feeling broken.

thanks beth.....

not really sure what Im feeling, just sad and really really down. my stupid heart is racing so loud and i want it to stop. feel scared but not even sure what of. cant stop crying.

(((Sue))) I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I hate the racing heart. I get that too sometimes. Have you been sleeping okay? Feeling anxious? That's what does it to me. I'm so sorry for your pain. Do you have Gertie right there?

hey sue sorry life sucks

Thanks Beth, thanks star

dunno what is up with me, might be the new medications, but what ever it is I just want it to stop - and preferably soon!!!

getting so edgy and antsy, which isnt helping with other stuff going on right the now. cant stop frigging crying, someone just has to say something to me, or within earshot of me - and thats it Im off again. Its not even self pity - coz I dont even unerstand why im so frigging upset...... :(

cant even force a fake smile today. And that is just pathetic

:(

THIS HURTS SO MUCH.............

:(

thanks little bro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gheYf9kvBRw&feature=related

:(

hi sue, I'm sorry it hurts so much

thanks star

sorry your hurting too hun, hope that things become easier for you soon

ever wonder when it will stop hurting? :(

:(

I don't know when it will stop, SueSue : (

I wish I could make it stop hurting for you, Sue. And I'm hoping tomorrow is better for you.

Sitting with you, Sue. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. :(

thanks big sis, Solstice and Beth

my eyes have stopped leaking - think they got fed up with it, either that or they have somehow managed to get to the back of my throat - which would explain why I feel like I have a huge lump back there

going home today (fingers crossed) cant wait to get out of here, Im sure these places make me feel worse

just wanna snuggle up on my sofa, cuddle into gertie with my blanket and try and settle myself:(

I hope Gertie comforts you, Sue, and you have some nice snuggle time back at home.

Hope today is better, Sue

Thanks Beth, thanks big sis

I'm home now. Its where I wanted and needed to be. Thought atleast if I was home, the being on the edge of tears thingy would stop. it hasnt

Still its nice to be home, have my comfy blanky wrapped round me and gertie, and finally I can just breathe in peace without the fear of someone speaking to me, and expecting me to know the answers. Big relief.

Been signed off work for the next fortnight - dunno why and didnt want to ask. What the heck Im gonna do with all that time gosh only knows. It is possible that some sulking, crying and stropping may be involved, but hopefully soon this hurt will ease off, coz I aint gotten a friggin' clue why I am like this

Feels like I have a million of these frigging things inside my head - and each of them telling me to go out get rat assed, hook up and just pass out afterward

Not going to - but shit I am so tempted. Want to even.

Maybe tomorrow will be easier.........

here ya go suesue. just spray some in each ear and shake your head around a bit...

To quote beth, it is a new day.

((((((hugs to you, dear one )))))))

[[Did anyone know you could wear a crocheted malign mustache????? The surprises the internet holds...]]

thanks for the bug spray little bro - it must of helped coz I managed to keep myself home throughout the night, not drink or get out of my head - instead I made a huge mug of hot chocolate (with marshmellows) snuggled down on the sofa with gertie, and ...... slept

maybe today is going to be ok, if nothing else I feel rested, im at home, an Im listening to the rain pelting down on my windows - its a good start

Hey finding - that is brilliant

So erm does big bro know about the moustaches ???

and.... yep it is a new day - and its raining, I love the rain !!!

OMG !!! :eek:

looks like Im going public, the newspaper is gonna print my story :eek: :eek:

ever think to yourself what am I doing?

Well I know what I am doing and I hope that what ever the outcome of this, or wherever I end up because of it.........

..... that my children will one day look back and be proud rather than discouraged by what their moma has done. Coz at the end of the day, my children were, are and always will be my heart and life.

((((((Sue))))))