dunno whats going on - my head is up to its usual tricks again. have to hide sometimes. cant really hide from myself and my own reality though can i. and that - that is what is so damn frustratingly scarey.
gotta get a grip - not sure how. sheeze if i can just figure it out - not all of it, just a small piece, then work on it from there.
balance needed. perspective diffinately needed. logic would be good instead of flying right off into one. whats real isnt real. thats what they say - but they are not me, i know what i hear and see is real to me.
starting to think that talking things through with the nurse most of the night wasnt a good idea - i feel even more insecure about myself now. maybe if i just let them help me instea of running away from them then things mu=ight stan a better chance of working out.
i dont know. im just so very tired of everything. i feel so shit.