Somedays seem so perfect, things go better than planned and my self expectations are exceeded, things are kept to a level I can cope with - them are the days that a part of me says YAY I can make it through to the next
Somedays are just sent to me straight from hell on earth, seriously draining, completely fucked up thoughts - yeah and actions, that push me further back than I thought posible - them are the days when death seems like a bloody good and realistic idea, my only option.
And then I get days like today - when I think oh for the love of spite, just STFU, its Life. Who the fuck am I to grumble about such tedious things. Just suck it up, and deal. Do one thing or the other - its impossible to do both. So I try - for a bit , till reality wakes me up with a thud! - coz trying aint working, or coz its too hard, so I go to the other option - them are the days that Im at my most harmful.:mad:
Guess thats why Im where I am. Coz days dont matter, achievements dont matter, hope dont matter - coz in the end - Im back to square one - a F'kd Up mess
thats it, my life - oh great!