you ok, SueSue???

How did things go yesterday?

Hi big sis I'm fine.

I love my Solisitor and my therapist - I was moved to a different hospital yesterday.

So today although my eyes won't stop leaking - I'm starting to pick myself up and dust myself down, think I'm ready to try again

Hope that you are ok

Oh and thanks Beth for the stones

Take Care

I'm really glad you got out of that place, Sue. I was worried that their nonchalance about drugs reaching the patients was a sign they didn't care very much.

So, tell your solicitor that I love them, too. ;-)

Hi Mark,

Yeah I will tell my solicitor

How are you?

Kinda miss yer big bro

I'm doing pretty well, Sue. Work has given me more responsibility, not to mention some actual work, so I feel like I'm doing something again.

I miss you too, though. I was worried about you, self-medicating like that. How's the new place?

{Give your solicitor a smooch for me, too, unless he's ugly.} :-)

I'm starting to pick myself up and dust myself down' date=' think I'm ready to try again.[/quote']

Sue, that's great news! I'm so glad to hear that. I hope things are better for you in the new hospital. Heal well.

I'm happy you feel better Sue. :-)

ewwwwwwwwww-y, uh-hu NO way am I gonna give my solicitor a smooch big bro :eek:

i will pass on yer love though!

thanks Beth,thanks ken the daisy is cute

Soooooo relieved, lil sis :) That place was awful

Hope today is ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. Saw my therapist today, and broke down infront of her, thought I was never gonna stop crying - think it was more tears of relief that, that life is gone know, rather than sadness. Its been a long time - too many years I need to remind myself that life is gone its over. Its different now. Its ok. Starting to breathe silence and respect it. Painful but necessary :)

Hi Sue,

I am glad things are better for you! Big hugs!!!!

Breathing with you, lil sis

Maybe a different now is ok?

Its a better day today

Peaceful inside of me, the voices a dull lurr rather than the usual volume that drives me insane!

Going outside in a while obviously I'm gonna be escourted but its progrerss. Think I'm happy

Awesome, Sue. I hope you enjoy your time outside.

......................................

thanks Beth, Hi ken

it was very COLD - but lovely just to see the outsie world again. Ive missed the wind, rain and fresh air - ok stop laughing i realise that sounds really lame

real tired now, so guess i will be in the land of nod shortly

hope everyone is okay

Yay for good days, and peaceful sleep. :-)

Sweety, the entire world of nature is still out there. It doesn't sound lame that you miss being out in it. That's one of the things that we can't give hospital patients, to help them heal.

(((hugs)))

so glad you got to go outside, dear one

it was very COLD - but lovely just to see the outsie world again. Ive missed the wind' date=' rain and fresh air - ok stop laughing i realise that sounds really lame [/quote']

I'm not laughing, Sue, but I am smiling. To me, your words are sweet music. It's wonderful that you were able to appreciate and feel the beauty of nature today. Thanks for sharing.

thanks

I feel weird, light headed but at the same time hung over with some stupid noise in my head pounding off beat like a really bad, hmmm very bad drumist. kinda sucky

Guess that'll be all the extra pills I took the last few weeks or however long it was, starting to leave my system. Sheeze only knows what EXACTLY it was I bought in the last hospital, hmmm, not entirely sure I wanna know - kinda really embarrassed and dissapointed in myself for resorting to levels like that, just to get through. Shit happens! What a excusee for the crap I put into my system, it's a bit like when your naughty as a kid and ya get caught and a adult asks you WHY- (HA) and all yer can come up wiv is IDK - shameful!

Still for some unbeknown reason I'm still around - despite at times my very bestest attempts not to be............. and although that has totally PISSED me off on more than several occasions, I'm kinda glad I'm still around. Even if all I can do right now is seemingly pointless and immaterial.

its a strange world, a even stranger life - but its beauty is still around hiding where its least expected. In my case that beauty, for me today is the reflections the sun makes as it hits the panes of the window and reflects light orbs around my room.

..........the simple things, yet some how gives so much inspiration and hope.

Sorry if your reading this - I'm not high - erm I dont think just in a really weird wonderous relaxed state of being that makes everything so........... unusually beautifully unique right the now.

yeah I best shut up, my therapist is gonna read my blog here later - how embarrasing - Oh best say Hi to her ....... Hi

catch you all later, hope yer all ok

I'm glad you're still around too, dear Sue.

its a strange world' date=' a even stranger life - but its beauty is still around hiding where its least expected.[/quote']

Yes. There is a lot of wonder and beauty in this world.

the simple things' date=' yet some how gives so much inspiration and hope.[/quote']

Yes. Maybe you're feeling your pink.

I'm so glad you have a caring therapist. She will get to know you better by reading your inner thoughts here in your blog.

Take care, Sue.

hmmmm, huge note to myself - be careful what i write on here, if like a dumbass im gonna show my therapist ...... huge OOOoooooppppsss!

actually to be fair though, half the time I write here, im way out of it and long since past caring what people say or think, besides others here know me so its easier to say what my reality is like - its kinda different however when in a room with my T, and sitting there cringing whilst she reads and picks apart my words and feelings. Ok so maybe picks apart is the wrong wording, but hopefuly someone will know what im tryna say. it was awkward!!!! just a tad, a very BIG TAD

Other than that - things are okay - still feeling weird, and hung over but im happy enough. Oh and I have chocolate, havnt had any in weeks so im looking forward to pigging out on it

Plus, the payoff in trust towards your therapist would be huge. She'll get a valid picture that sometimes your moods are very volatile because of the pain you're in.

The reason we accept what you write, Sue, is because we care about you. What you're doing by letting your therapist read it is allowing her to care, too.

Maybe some of the awkwardness is because the feelings change more often than most? Anyway, hooray for chocolate. :-)