I appreciate the private messages and posts to my blogs wishing me well during my absence from the forum. I apologize for not giving a notice, but one morning I just woke up and told myself I needed to heal, and I needed to find myself, even if it meant staying away from the loving friends on here. See, I don't think I realized it at first, but blogging and posting about my problems, and reading other posts were aggravating my circumstances- among other things. I've tried to heal, it seems as though I'll take two steps forward then three steps back. It's part of the process I guess. But I had to try to eliminate all stressors and aggravators when it came to dealing with PTSD, depression, anxiety and gut wrenching grief. I'll be honest, my absence from the forum did not help, but atleast I tried.

I've been keeping myself busy mostly, when I'm physically able, and dealing with the waves of sadness as they come.

Whenever I feel really sad, I try to turn it into something beautiful. The last time I spiraled into a depressive state over the loss of my brother, I made from my own hands, something to put on his grave to represent my love. Here it is.