I was doing really well, then... not so much. It's taking me more tries than I would like to get sober. In the meantime alcohol is messing with my meds and really shouldn't be combined with what I'm on. So I'm not that bright when it comes to nearly poisoning oneself. I am depressed again and generally thin-skinned when it comes to every day frustrations. Thinking about suicide again although I really still want to live. I'm no stranger to ambivalence. Still working on sobriety, using CBT tools to fight urges and social support as well. I will make it, or die trying, as they say. It's that second part that scares me.