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silently friggin' screamin'

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SweetSue

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Been here for 4 weeks now - I think. and everything is going wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im getting by alright enough - somehow. But am not entirely sure whats happening most of the time.

Have I mentioned how much I loathe being re-located, sure I must of done at some stage or other, but just incase I havnt - I HATE THIS!!!!!

This new place is nice enough and the people friendly, what more can lifes reject ask for?

Hmm, maybe Oh, I dunno - breathing space, does that even exsist this day and age?

I have a door, well several actually (all of which are defected and refuse to do their job), a roof all beit leaking, friggin mold in places I thought mould couldnt exsist, bowing ceilings, gas pipes that cant go a week without leaking, and a bathroom in desperate need of replacing - coz like it would be nice to have a loo that dont leak and a bath that functions, on a plus atleast I'm outta harms way and sufficiently hidden for the time being. Just cant cope anymore with , well, everything.

How the F*** does anyone actually manage to live, coz honestly what with the state Ive mentally gotten myself into of late, and the state of the surroundings Im exsisting in, I really want to just switch the hell off and go join the people I have been avoiding for so many years - atleast it'll shut them up.

Happy days

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I'm sorry the place they've given you to live is so unpleasant, Sue.

Is there any way you can work to make it better? You might not be able to patch the roof, but can you put the bathroom into reasonable shape?

Or, what would it take to get "breathing space", for you? I'm not sure, and it's probably different for each person. Is there a park you can go to, or a coffee shop nearby where you could go to read, or ... whatever makes you happy to do ...

And we're still here, if we help at all.

Love from your big bro,

Mark

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Maybe its me, perhaps im finicky and picky about stuff - who knows. Decided this weekend I dont care anymore - why should I????

Others out there are a lot worse off than me, and I know that for fact, so who the heck am I to grumble about my surroundings or situation. Self pitying mood swing over wiv - at last.

Things can change, crumbs Ive seen enough changes in my life over the last 5 or 6 years, whos to say my stupid life wont change again. So guess Ive just gotta suck it up and switch off. Brilliant coping skill to possess. Never much liked reality anyhow.

Had a mega cleaning session the past couple of days - reckon I managed to get overly high from all the fumes, hmmm, and possibly all the alcohol I somehow managed to consume, and well things dont seem so bad, infact they seem ironically funny - extremely so, like some old morecomb and wise sketch from years ago, or a sketch of the downright clumsy chuckle brothers.

Reckon I really should think quite seriously about getting help (mantal help obviously) again - but for now, Im just having way to much fun being hyper :)

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Heaven knows you don't get to have fun very often, Sue. But I always worry about what comes after the hyper. It's the only reason why I would want you to come down (and even then, just enough, not all the way.)

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Still hyper, if anything more so, i swear the more shit that kicks off right now the funnier things seem - gotta laugh, way better than the alternative, cried more than my fair share of tears this year, enough to last a lifetime so aint lettin' myself be that pathetic anymore.

I affectionately now call my shite hole of a home, the rabbit hutch - though really Im possitive rabbit hutches are way more hygenic, larger and have less leaks. But rabbit hutch atleast sounds half normal(ish) - in my head at any rate :D

Getting new Bathroom fitted in 2 weeks time, so will be able to have a bath then - thankfully, hmm, if they actually fit it properly - not holding out much hope on that score though. Wonder what makes the landlord think its more important to fit the bathroom rather than fitting the new front door - I'd rather be able to lock my front door of a night time really - WGAF about the damn Bathroom - Like Hello, I shoud just advertise my Rabbit Hutch as easy takings for the local crooks round here. Perhaps I should also ask them to supply a load of umbrellas temporary, just till the leaky roof is fixed. Seriously am past caring - hmm, or just maybe really wish I was - not sure anymore

Like I said my life is just one big laugh - its gotta be - coz its all just one F*****R of a JOKE!

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Have you asked the landlord about fixing the door? Your safety is very important. I hope that he keeps working to fix up your place. Sounds like it needs it. :( In the meantime, can you decorate it some too? Maybe it would help to make it feel more like home?

Take care.

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And things just get more hysterical with each passing day. Had yet another gas leak, (for a frigging change) I had a real battle with myself as to whether or not it would be better to light a match and just flick it, or actually ring out the different gas boards. In the end I made the call - but now wish I had just lit the match. It woulda certainly been a damn sight warmer this past few days!

Im still just about managing to laugh everything off, but really Ive had about all I can or even want to take. Anyway, never mind learn something new everyday - and Im fastly learning that this life just takes the blatant P.

Still really wish I could just put a end to everything once and for all. I know my stubborness and hypers have kept me going the past few years, but seriously thats about ran out, and Im fed up of fighting against myself every day, Its tiring.

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Hmmmmm, things change :D

Still in the same rabbit hutch and things are still pushing me to my limits but I can honestly say - not caring anymore what happens - I mean truely not caring - is probably the best thing that I have ever done in my life - EVER!!!!! :)

Dunno where to begin really, a LOT has happened since I last wrote in here - A LOT :eek:

The gas repairs are finally fixed (for now) YAY! Not to sure I am proud of what happened afterward, as well its a bit of a blur - lets just say ended up with gas man for the night - enough said on that score, except maybe ,,,,,, Ooooopsie.

Needless to say I hope that I never see him again, could be a tad awkward.....

Ive actually came outta my shell - a lot since that night, and have ended up singing for a living ( only in small clubs and bars etc - but its fun) - HA, can yer believe it - me. The person who always thought I sound like a cat being murdered when singing, actually turns out I can sing pretty damn good - when I dont care what people think :D

Got me a new fella too :). It aint love or anything daft - come to the conclusion there is no such thing as love - its probably just a word that men invented to get inside a persons underwear. So ive banned that word from ever being used - were just having fun :D

And I like fun - oh so very much.

Sod the damn P'Docs who say hypers are self damaging - what the heck do they really know - Im sure they are just guessing anyways.

The way I see it, trouble follows me round - so im gonna damn well enjoy myself till it kills me :)

Hope everyone here is okay, and that life is being fair and kind to you all

take care

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Thanks for checking in with us, Daisy!!!!!!!!!

May I hug hyper self and lowper self together?

(((((((((((((( Daisy Sue's self, our friend )))))))))))))))

We are getting a ton of snow today! I am hoping that will slow down the action somehow....

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Snow!!!! Wow, you lucky things :) Like how good is that Big Sis :)

I LOVE the snow :D

Wish it would hurry up and arrive here - huh, no such luck, the weather her is totally mild for this time of year!

Ive had me a very good weekend - still hyper as ever, but gosh I'd much rather be like this than how at times I have been.

I realise, well realise not acknowledge, (by any stretch of the imagination) that eventually I have to lowper myself down at some point, but for now this is my way of coping with things and Im gonna damn welll stick to it :P

Hope that you are all ok, and apparently its xmas season - so incase I dont get my bum to a computer again any time soon ......... Happy Christmas folks!!!! :)

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Now I'm picturing you posting that whole thing, smileys and all, with your bum ... :-P

I'm glad you're having fun, lil sis. :-) As long as you're taking care of yourself too, who could ask for more?

Have a Merry Christmas, Sue.

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NO - Dont picture it Big Bro - coz like now I am, and its gotten me giggling like well a giggly thing - and Im meant to be quiet - seeing as how Im currently in the local library! :D

Hope things are going ok, for ya big bro, the trouble with library computers is that it limits what I can actually access - so cant see anyone elses blog from here -- bummer.

Any howwwwwwwwwwwwww, s'pose I'd best get that bum of mine outta here before i cause to much attention to meself :P:)

Take care all :)

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