I'm getting better and have been doing really well lately. Less isolation, more exercise, stopped drinking (again). Sobriety is my focus right now, because drinking messes everything else up. I can either have the things that I value, or alcohol. It shouldn't be a tough choice, but it is. Even though it's threatening to kill me, I really really love drinking. I don't love hangovers though. I don't enjoy the panic attacks that follow a day of drinking, and the two days of lost productivity that I spend trying to regain homeostasis following a binge. My drinking had really gotten out of control. I used to say my drinking was ok because it wasn't like I was taking down an entire fifth (750mL) of vodka in a night. Well I blew past that benchmark taking down a handle (1.75L) in two nights with some beer besides.
I'm doing a web course that's based on proven methods for stopping addiction. I feel different about alcohol now. During prior quit attempts I would have obsessive cravings for alcohol that happened over and over again. Since starting this course, I've only had a few passing thoughts in a day. I just don't think about it as much. I'm busy thinking about other things, such as my future with my partner and I'm trying to be more self disciplined. I need to be self disciplined in order to lose the weight that I gained from heavy drinking over the past year. Next I need to work on my diet and my procrastination habit. I'm also studying Buddhism a lot and that is helping me with my depression. It's difficult to explain but I've gotten better at accepting what I cannot change and more compassionate towards myself and others. This leaves me with more peace in my mind.
I cannot say how long this will last, but I want to enjoy it while it does.