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Maybe this is just normal ups and downs, but I am way down right now. Keep thinking about suicide although I have no intent of going through with it. Wondering if I should call a crisis line anyway.  No particular external stressors, actually things are going fine for me, nonetheless these feelings make it like I am going through some intensely distressing times.


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I'm sorry things are so difficult, Ralph. :(  It's always okay to reach out if you need to. Are you feeling any better now? I'm glad to see your blog is back up.

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Thanks for the note, IJ. It took me a little while but I found the settings. I'm still feeling about the same as when I wrote the original post unfortunately. Things are pretty good; I have a lot to be thankful for. I can't seem to be able to enjoy my own good fortune, though. I feel so much fear and pessimism although things have gone pretty well for me, with a few significant exceptions.

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I'm glad you found the settings, Ralph. I'm sorry you're still struggling. :(

I struggle with anxiety at times myself. I think it's often about my fear of the future and what might happen and will I be able to cope if it does? Whenever this happens, I try to slow down my mind by connecting with my state of being in the present. I will sit in a quiet place and listen to the sound of my breathing... feel the life in me from within, focus on the sounds, the physical sensations... gain a greater awareness of self. Sometimes I may sit with painful feelings. I think practicing this during the difficult times helps me to be more aware of the joyful moments too without fear of the future. I don't know if any of this could be helpful to you, but it seems to help me.

Wishing you peaceful moments.

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