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  1. Last week
  2. I don't know what my sexual orientation is. Ever since I watched Star trek 10years ago, I viewed Spock character as most interesting - immune to bully and not afraid to fight back. And I can't explain how I link his character to asexuality. And I don't really know if no fad had any thing to do with asexuality, I only assume it does. My gender identity and sexuality had be made confused and complicated by paedophiles. I used to blamed (maybe still do) all the bad experience on bullies - so much hate that I took revenge on 1 of his daughter (my wife) which I got her pregnant... I better stop here, it made my blood boil just thinking about my school years. Anyway, it's been almost 20 years and sometimes it make me feels better talking to someone about it. I m learning to improve myself and find my true identity. I m so glad that support group like here exist. Thank you and regards
  3. That is a very lovely pic, Klingsor 🌈
  4. I too had a fairly passionless marriage, though my situation was different. My first marriage delayed my dealing with this issue in my life. Once i was free to pursue other relationships, I started looking online for any talk i could find on having a small dick (or perceiving it to be too small) and i found help immediately. My posts in this forum have nearly all been about encouraging guys like me to go for it, so to speak. Are you really asexual, or is that something you're able to condition in yourself? I wouldn't presume to say you shouldn't be asexual, maybe that's the healthiest path for some.
  5. It's 2 years tomorrow that we lost our friend Resolute. RIP We miss you.
  6. Buzz buzz buzz honey for the bees
  7. No @jazz, it distinguishes between two types of “subordinated” masculinities - a “dominant” type and “gigolo” type.
  8. Thought you wrote 'it would be more honey', Vic 😄
  9. I dunno, reads to me like men who have no economic hope becoming cruel to the women they meet, seemingly because they hate their situation and feel powerless about it.
  10. So glad things are cool at the new place. As you get settled it will be more homey.
  11. Hi all really enjoying my new place have my old one for a lil while longer still have no internet there
  12. Extremely interesting essay, supports much of what is discussed on this forum. The modern phenomena of cuckoldry is rooted in this. It also demonstrates the true nature of the political theater current year...not "left versus right" but neo-liberalism versus populism (of whatever variety) - "hegemonic" masculinity being the flabby, materialistic bourgeoisie sentimentalism dominant since the 18th century, and the two subordinated masculinities encompassing the left/right popular, practical, carnal understandings of the relations between the sexes. Phallicism will be the new religion. http://www.njas.helsinki.fi/pdf-files/vol18num4/groes-green.pdf
  13. I noticed that suicide rates of males and females seem to be inversely related across several countries based on this data: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate#endnote_data_updated_2018 I played with it in Excel and used the rate rankings pseudo-normalized by number of countries in each region to plot the difference in rank between male and female suicide rates across all 184 countries. A positive value indicates a low male ranking and comparatively high female ranking, while negative indicates the opposite. In some countries they are roughly equal. Using the broad regional categories, this would seem to correlate with the cultural dominance of "patriarchal" and "matriarchal" social structures of the countries comprising these regions. Also interestingly, Russia, that stoic beacon of global conservatism and family values in 2019, ranks highest in male suicide rate globally. In general, the countries with the highest male suicide rates are loosely centered in Eastern Europe, and the inverse relationship between male versus female rates is significant in these countries.
  14. Hello, @Ladichy, welcome! I hope that as your psychiatrist realized you also have this problem, he/she can now start to suggest new strategies to help you. Do you see the psychiatrist only for medication or are you also in psychotherapy? I believe psychotherapy would be the best option, possibly together with some other changes, as Vic suggested in the previous post. What do you think? Good luck!
  15. @Ladichy that sounds like a lot to deal with on a daily basis. I am not a clinical person so I won’t even pretend to know what to do. I will say this: if it was me I would just try everything under the sun until I found something that works. Dietary changes, exercise, psychiatry, therapy, among other things would be on the list. Good luck!
  16. Earlier
  17. I believe this discussion has gotten off topic. I will apologize in advance for the long post and if I seem to ramble. I read over it and tried to consolidate related issues. I have ADD and Bipolar II. My Psychiatrist mentioned he thought I had OCPD to me a couple of days ago. During my research, I ran across this discussion. I understand the original question. How can ADD & OCPD co-exist. They seem to be an oxymoron, existing at 2 ends of the spectrum. Sometimes I feel frozen. Unable to start or complete anything. Running in circles. I can't start anything because I can't finish it in the controlled way I need to (work at it for 20 minutes then take a break is a joke). If I start anything, I Have to finish it to my expectations. It's a vicious cycle. Add the Bipolar and it's a recipe for disaster. The need to finish things to my expectations causes other problems related to physical issues. It is also causing problems with my family. They feel like I'm being unreasonable wanting things done a certain way (kind of like I felt as a child), therefore do things their way (not unreasonable, but drives me crazy). The ADD makes me super focused on completing something to my expectations (organizing the kitchen), yet it is destroyed the next day. On top of all, I believe our daughter has OCPD. She makes lists for everything, gets unreasonably upset when things aren't done her way, doesn't make friends easily etc. Our daughter and I have always been really close, even during the dreaded teen years. She has always been my rock. Yet this seems to be tearing us apart. She is there for me, listens, tries to help with what I want and makes suggestions on how to accomplish things. Then I find out she broke down in tears to her Dad or boyfriend because it's too much. I feel incredibly alone. A year ago I was so close to ending my life (my Dad did in 2009, his mother when he was 24-before I was born). Thoughts of her was the only thing that saved me...not my husband or our son. My Bipolar medication has gotten rid of those thoughts. Now I don't even want to feel anything...but the anger that I survived with for so long. I don't even understand why my husband is still around after 30 years. I just hope I'm not the only one and just going crazy...
  18. Hello. I sympathize with many of you here. It is hard dealing with this kind of disability. You can't really be yourself completely or feel totally confident, I know. I am average length but below average girth. I can say that it has definitely played with my mind. I used to think I was okay, and that there wasn't anything wrong with it, until I started becoming more sexually active. I realized from my experiences with women, that they had better, and their standards are kind of high now in this society because of the porn/online dating. I know that it must have been the lacking of thickness that has caused me not to reach the sexual performance I was always hoping. I could tell that they didn't want to compliment me on my size or stick around to have sex with me again, because I was pretty much a cocky guy with a not so cocky-cock. I came to this conclusion one night after realizing I never really could please a woman and I felt stupid. I felt ashamed. I felt worthless. I didn't want to accept to it either. I still don't. There's a lot of pain when you are a sexual being, you like sex and you want sex, but there's this little thing holding you back -- making you insecure. I can't get the monkey off my back. It seems like each time I try to feel good about myself, it always ends up in disappointment. I cry about it sometimes, I will admit.
  19. I would recommend this to everyone with SPS, as well as to those who are absurdly and shamlessly cruel to them (by making fun of them etc.😞
  20. Hello, Jktw, and welcome. It sounds as though you would like to share meaningful, supportive friendships with others and that is wonderful. Do you think you are having difficulty relating to why someone feels as they do or is it that you have trouble understanding different feelings? If I'm trying to understand another person's experiences, I might start by thinking about how I would feel in their circumstances. If I can't relate to their response because I likely wouldn't have a similar response, then I try to relate to the feeling itself. How does it feel to be sad or angry, hurt, frustrated, lonely and how might I support that person inside that feeling? Autism can be a complex thing. It often doesn't look like what we would think of in a sterotypical sense. There is a wide spectrum and each person may be affected differently, in different areas. It can look quite different in each individual, according to severity, gender, and a number of other factors. Science is always evolving and hopefully we will learn more. Are your struggles new or have they been lifelong? Are there other things you struggle with, such as obsessive thoughts or difficulty with focus? I hope you find a therapist you have good rapport with who is both helpful and supportive of you. Take care.
  21. LaLa

    My MIL

    Hello again and sorry for not replying sooner! I'm sorry it's so terribly complicated! It seems the problem is not only your MIL, but also your husband, at least when it comes to dealing with her. He should be more on your side and, mainly, trying much more to understand your point of view! I see that the current situation may make you think about divorce . However, if your MIL is the only serious problem, it sounds like... well, you know. There should be other ways. One of the reasons of my late reply is that I didn't know 'what to suggest'. The only advise I have for you is to persuade your husband to start marriage counselling. Of course, first you should probably try to explain to him, really in details, what your problems are and how his reactions to them have been affecting you and your marriage, so that he would understand the point of the counselling: To find a way how to "deal with" your MIL without endangering your marriage. What do you think? Good luck!!!
  22. Yes, there is also the idea about decision making that Susan Jeffers wrote about in her book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' = "Don't protect, correct." It's just knowing when to correct and getting on with it that can be difficult! http://greystoneglobal.com/dont-protect-correct-your-strategic-planning/
  23. jazz

    Early entry

    Good Luck, Dave. Hope it's a friendly new place.
  24. Daveuk

    Early entry

    I.know I generally do.this on Friday but after tomorrow I might be in new place won't be able to do it Monday - Out to Saintsburys Tuesday - sign up 11:50am took things to new place at 3pm Wednesday - staying in more packing Thursday - probation 9:30am taken some bigger stuff to new place 2pm CR 7:30pm Friday - might be moving in new place and getting paid Hope to be pack soon
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