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  2. @KlingBro I think people would read it. You're like a fact checker or something or a fancy lawyer, you're meticulous. I smashed my phone today, it froze up on me again, it was the last straw 😂 just in case you messaged me and I didn't respond, that's why.
  3. Yesterday
  4. Perhaps, I have not given up yet and too naive to accept that status. Perhaps, there are many men like me out there. Yes, I know where I stand on the penis envy/atrractiveness scale of life and the handicaps they can manifest, I am a witness and a sufferer. With all due respect, you should consider that some of us newcomers to this forum are seeking guidance, positivity, maybe even a way out. Not someone who would just fold up his tent. I might be ranting for the wrong team.
  5. Yes, I found this to be true when I argued these issues at LPSG, the large penis support group. Any woman or man who had any sort of a discrimination issue, be it racial, ethnicity, looks, injuries, diseases, etc were totally outraged. But they would give NO QUARTER and insisted sps was, at best, a mental illness and, at worst, a moral fault deserving severe reprimand. Any suggestion that a real small penis was a real physical handicap or that penis inferiority complexes for the above average were imposed by society's disparagement of the small through vicious humor and discrimination was greeted with HATRED! They claimed I was the one insulting men with a small penis by creating negatives where there were none!
  6. This is what I’ve never understood. Guys come here and inevitably make some variation of this statement, yet anywhere outside this forum this stuff is taken for granted. Debating/discussing it in analytical detail would seem ludicrous. As for hierarchical fluidity, that happens all the time in nature...at some point the alpha male is challenged and overtaken by a younger, stronger, better usurper. It doesn’t change for humans, just becomes more complex. In developing nations and economically distressed places, all a man has is his body. That’s his only socio-economic capital. Portfolios and investments protected by a mountain of abstract legalisms wielded by an army of attorneys means zero. Nothing.
  7. No one would read it, no one would understand it if they did, no one would care if they read it and understood it. All my job is is accounting with chemistry, physics, etc thrown in the mix and babysitting/ego-petting a bunch of oversized adolescents.
  8. Once I was in a relationship with dominant lesbian woman though I didn't know it at first. Apparently, she was just after the betabux. After our sex transformed to female dominant oral, she began to call me "her lady". I discovered she had a number of submissive female sex partners and began to treat me like one of them. She instructed me not to pleasure myself during our activities and made no move to satisfy my need for release. Finally, she offered one of her "girls" to service my needs. I expressed how disappointed and hurt I was, but she, contrary to my expectations, was unrelenting and just smiled. and chuckled. To put the frosting on the cake she had group sex in front of me one time with some old friends. The men fucked her long and hard provoking her to powerful orgasms. She also displayed oral skills never offered to me. When I asked about her lesbianism, she just said she liked a good fucking now and then, but women were her thing. I did regain my senses and move on.
  9. What does getting a "job in accounts" mean? I have often thought of writing a book on all this disputing the current sps / bdd theology, but to get a hearing I think I would have to come-up with a positive philosophy of how to deal with the reality of phallocracy. I don't think definition and explanation would fly without a recipe for self-help.
  10. I enjoyed viagra, but women didn't seem to think I was any better.
  11. I have a feeling there is a correlative hierarchy for the female sex. And perhaps, compatibility that would likely to be more successful for long term relationships. I don't like to over think things because rumination of non-concrete ideology tends to lead me to bad decisions.
  12. Vox says in one of his videos that men can be in different points of the hierarchy in different settings. Your success in work and business would seem to make you an example of that. Your more technical field might make it possible to lead without much "male display."
  13. I found this video to be quite intetesting, however not entirely correct. I've found on many occasions to have switched positions many times up and down the said hierarchy ladder, from beta to omega, even in one day, but never alpha. In one day, I can see myself go from being a beta at work to an omega when I go home and have to deal with my wife. But generally over time, well before I got married, I would waffle around these levels. But, if it had to pick one, I'd be a delta. Lately, I just want to be left alone when I'm not working, therefore omega. Get some booze in me, I'll go up the confidence ladder. I know a good looking guy when I see one. My wife is a very attractive 46 year old Asian woman, and the guys that she has had affairs with, all white guys, have been more attractive than myself. Not model attractive, but on the other end if the bell curve. Let's say I resemble George Costanza more than Richard Gere. Yes, I married up for sure. At least my kids are attractive.
  14. Would you just write a fucking book or something 😂 ever thought about getting a job in accounts?
  15. It wasn't til she started seeing her current bf and I was extremely pissed that I just found out about her year and a half long affair during a therapy visit that I knew nothing about. "You are a little man, ****, in more ways than one..." Little man comment continued for awhile, but now we really don't talk about anything but the kids. I've mentioned this before, but years ago when I was a resident, we had friends over and played some sort of an adult game where the question that was posed to my wife as we were playing in teams was, "What have lied about or faked to your spouse?" She said orgasms, which brought laughter. Of course I played along with it and she said she was kidding, but the damage was done. Four years ago, after her two affairs I knew about, we went to couples counseling once, and soon after that she told me that she no longer had interest in sex with me. Another blow.
  16. I remember this story. what a silly little cunt. I would be ashamed of myself if I was her. unfortunately she is not. nor does society at large consider her that.
  17. Although, I'm in a better mind set now than I was 2 months ago, I'm just in no mood to pursue another relationship at this time. I have a lot of healing to do first plus I want to see where I stand after the divorce is final. Before we got married, we talked about waiting maybe 2 or 3 years before we have kids and I believed both of us were on the same page.
  18. If @LaLa deactivates one account, won't the posts remain without a poster name attached? That's how it works other places. I wanted to make it clear who was behind both sets of posts. I had forgotten about the smallguy account when I fairly recently returned to posting here at Mental. . ., but then found it again and accessed it again. When I found it, I didn't have the discipline to stop using it and used it sporadically. Too paranoid: Yeah, I understand "fucking with" alright, but you think they would really program the ad to pop to people just to fuck with some guys? Triggering could hurt their sales. After watching the ad I doubt if I will buy Old Spice again. I was triggered to think back to when I started using Old Spice in High School or even earlier. I've used Old Spice ever since, but will think twice when I reach for another dispenser of under arm. Little doubt that the old "Old Spice means quality said the captain to the bos'n" grabbed me at a time when my self awareness was low and I wanted the faux masculinity of "Old Spice." Are you old enough to remember this? Old Spice Ship That Sailed the Ocean
  19. @llbaker (aka Smallguy) @lbaker Why are you posting under two different accounts? Just ask @LaLa to deactivate one of them, you obviously remembered you had two accounts or you wouldn't have logged into both and continue to post under both. In answer to your question it's just human nature to fuck with other humans. Everything is about sex. That's why they call it "fucking with".
  20. Thought I would make a thread for speculative/theoretical posts so that other members' threads don't get derailed. These can sometimes get long-winded (especially mine - that's what happens when you turn a social recluse loose anonymously online). Maybe the mods could underwrite it? Please limit discussion here to speculative posts only, concerning the basis, formation, or maintenance of the syndrome itself; if another member's post/story/anecdote triggers it, please quote it here. If no one else chooses to do so, I will at least follow my own example. Recent examples Homosexuality, "Bro Culture", Masculine Psychology: http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137145 (Comprehensive) http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11152-hegemonic-and-subordinated-masculinities/ (Linked Essay) http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11190-wife-needing-advice/?do=findComment&comment=136798 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11190-wife-needing-advice/?do=findComment&comment=136800 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11190-wife-needing-advice/?do=findComment&comment=136821 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=136875 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11211-gym-this-evening/?do=findComment&comment=136992 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137146 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137149 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=137097 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=137272 Social Recognition of SPS & Females' Views: http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=136906 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=137088 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=137103 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137154 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11198-now-divorcing-after-wife-had-multiple-affairs-over-my-sps/?do=findComment&comment=137188 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137270 Psychoanalytical Theory/History and Modern Psychological Approaches: http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137116 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137121 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/8124-moms-reaction/?do=findComment&comment=137122 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137077 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137079 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137117 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137125 http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/5751-small-penis-and-gay/?do=findComment&comment=137234
  21. They assume in the algorithms that you are NOT "past" these blandishments, yet. They don't think you are as conscious as you are? More bluntly, they think you are fighting inferiority feelings still? Or is the ad aimed at guys like the tall guy? Aimed at confirming his self image?
  22. I'll go with the "big dick" guy. Do we get to find-out the "right" answer? This reminds me of when I shacked-up with a woman I had known for quite awhile earlier during my 1st divorce. Since I was broke, I wasn't a "betabux" guy at the time, but was "beta-career-childsupport" guy, getting her through college, serving as baby sitter, and getting her career going. She claimed she was totally in love devoted to me and I was the only guy she could orgasm with. . . I wasn't quite fool enough to believe that as the only time I felt she MIGHT really orgasm was during oral and for a time pressed working-student-mom she seemed to have way too many unexplained hours out of the house especially between 6pm and 2pm supposedly working on class projects with other students and such. After a year or more the truth started to emerge as she to tried to educate me on how to be a better sex partner often recounting what other guys had done with her "years ago." Apparently, she decided that maybe jealousy would would arouse in me the competitive spirit vs. other males that would redound to her sexual satisfaction. 1st she tried just bending over for rear entry to her vagina like "other men" and she, apparently, enjoyed. Of course, my short erection didn't reach comfortably past her ass cheeks. She tried quite a number of things including claiming that other men always wanted to penetrate her anally, but she never let them, but wanted me to. She described having to fight-off some guys who tried to take her anally by force. I wasn't interested due to my beta orientation and sanitary considerations, but I tried it anyway eventually. For someone who had never allowed it, her orifice seem awfully easy to penetrate. I didn't see the attraction maybe because I wasn't long enough. I mentioned that and she never brought that up again. There were a number of other experiments on her part that got us nowhere. Once she suggested going to a local club to experience group sex, but I refused saying I din't want to compete with other men. She said disappointed, Spoil sport. That'[s the fun. She said the worst that could happen is that you discover you are gay and enjoy a new kind of sex. Eventually, she accidentally left a large rubber penis dildo out. Oh, I said, what's that. You want me to try it on you? She said no, I want to try it on you. After a few days I agreed. It took a long time and lube to penetrate me, but eventually she got the whole thing in. She worked it and managed to give me a powerful orgasm that she said proved I was at least bi-sexual. She ridiculed the idea that prostate stimulation from the anus is experienced as erotic by all men. Not long after that, she asked that I use the large dildo on her after I gave her oral. Yup, she made all kinds of involuntary noises and then had multiple orgasms accompanied by deep vibrations and fluid discharges I had never witnessed prior. Our sex migrated to oral as it had with other women.
  23. I agree except I do like some heavy metal. The energy of it along w the bleak world view resonates w me unfortunately. Hope all is well. I know how it is. Hang in there.
  24. When I got on YouTube this morning, this was the ad leader: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeayB8gz3LQ It pretty well covers everything discussed in this post: http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137145 Look at the jerseys; the tall dude's says "48" while Kevin Hart's says "1/2". Team name is "Swagger". At one point, the tall one is looking at the camera with a confident smile wearing nothing but a towel, but speaking to Kevin Hart and says, "Sadly, you aren't me". Now people will say I'm reading way too much into this. But what other subconscious meaning is meant to be gleaned from this entire skit? You have the tall, naturally confident ("chill") smooth-talker patiently putting up with the loud, obnoxious, overcompensating "little guy". And the humpty dumpty white dweeb at the very end takes the cake. Also - would a public advertisement titled "Cold as Balls" been acceptable for even late-night public consumption 20 years ago? Stuff like this happens to me all the time because I'm not as diligent as I used to be about hiding my online activity, I just don't give a damn anymore: https://blog.mozilla.org/firefox/cross-site-tracking-lets-unpack-that/. There's no way it's a coincidence. "But why would they promote an ad for you, Klingsor, if it's something that triggers you, since the purpose is to sell the product?" you may ask. Well, maybe the algorithms running the bots aren't smart enough to discriminate sentiment, only keywords. Unlikely. More likely it's just mind games. Fucking mind games for no other purpose than because they can.
  25. Has she ever come directly out and said your dick was too small or was it always just beating around the bush? The gf I mentioned in the other thread had a little diary tucked in her bookshelf that I found one day while I was looking for a chemistry handbook I’d loaned her. Curious and nosy, I pulled it out and began to flip through it. On one page, she had listed out like a grocery list the pros and cons of two dudes she had obviously been banging at the same time (before she met me). Apparently, trying to maintain secret liaisons with both at once had begun to be stressful, so this was her way of attempting to make a decision - when all else fails make a list like a livestock auction. Under one of the dudes, right there in bold letters were the words “Big Dick”. Big dick’s competition must’ve had a pretty face going for him because beneath him she’d written “Hot”. Further investigation (wasn’t too difficult) led me to the identities of the two broskis. Her facial assessment was accurate - one of them was very good looking, the other (Big Dick) merely douchebag-face average. I’ll leave you to guess which one she ended up choosing for an exclusive relationship. I really think this was the moment when my sps shifted into overdrive.
  26. I must be dense. You agreed to wait? When? About what? Maybe when you got married you had agreed to wait awhile to have kids, but she knew she was already pregnant by you?
  27. Basically ^^^. If a song is good, I like it no matter what kind of music it is. I grew up listening to country and bluegrass, but I also like classic rock, blues, folk, opera, classical, electronica, and experimental. My tastes are very eclectic and depend a lot on my mood. Music I don’t like: heavy metal, gangsta rap, and Christian rock. That Christian rock stuff and also this new type of indie(?) rock music that sounds like a constipated emo is singing makes me want to vomit when I hear it.
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