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  2. Brokenness

    Haha i've already read that article (twice of course).
  3. Today
  4. Brokenness

    I'm not sure what had me looking this up but after this post started I decided see if there was anything on locker room "cock checks". I found this article and while there are parts of it I'm not so sure are accurate, there are some legitimate points as well. It basically says all guys look in the locker room and it is for the purpose of "gauging" of where you rank. It also says some stuff about the societal norms of big dicks and small dicks based on team dynamics. This part I'm not so sure about but hey, it's on the internet so it must be true. https://www.outsports.com/2014/3/17/5515302/penis-size-matters-locker-room-gay-straight-study
  5. Brokenness

    I hear that @lostboy1. The showers at my school were similar. I never went near them. A couple of my friends smirked at me for not showering and changing behind a towel. Like they knew what was up. It never went to insults or poking fun at me, but i was seriously afraid it would. I imagined they already knew how small i was and had told everyone else, particularly the girls we knew.
  6. Not sure why I can’t stand my mum

    Hi Jess I read your post & to begin with I'd like to reiterate what @Victimorthecrime said. It seems as though your mum is coming on in age so it might be best that you don't let her know this resentment that you harbour. She might hold it in & it would be awfully difficult to take back. I'm no expert so take what i say mildly. To me it seems that your dislike of her stems from the fact that you outgrew her so quickly. And by this you feel as though you have outdone her. This alone wouldn't create your frustration towards her. I think there's something holding you back in life, which also held her back too. It's this similarity i believe, that causes you to resent her because it reminds you that no matter how much you outgrow her, you will be equally as limited as her in at least one, but essential department. On some level you associate this attribute with her subdued/submissive behavior, and so it pisses you off that your zest for life carries you no further than her (in this department) despite her disinterest in life. In reality, you're angry at yourself & more particularly that this attribute remains unchanged despite your efforts to be productive. She is a clear mirror to the characteristic/s that cause this anger. Do you look like her? If you adress these issues your anger with her might subside. Just my thoughts. Tc
  7. Brokenness

    Well, I played football and basketball in high school so I was in the locker rooms a lot. Back then there was no such thing as private stalls in showers, at least not at my school. Ours would remind you of an old prison shower where the shower heads are along the wall in a big open room with drains. No privacy whatsoever and you were basically standing side by side with a guy on each side of you. I played basketball and football all four years of high school and the only time that I showered in the locker rooms was summer football camp my first year. I had never been to the place before (it was a new school for me) so I didn't know what the "shower scene" would look like. I assumed there would be private stalls I guess but once I realized that I was way wrong, it was too late to stop without drawing major attention. I wore the towel all the way to the corner where I stood and showered in about 15 seconds. That was the first and last time I showered there and I was very fortunate no one saw me because they made fun of cocks, much bigger than mine, for being small. The rest of the time I would just go home to take one. I'm glad athletics and practice was always at the end of the day. I don't know what I would have done if I had worked out or practiced in first period.
  8. Brokenness

    I completely agree with you but this was kids and kids don't use logic. They just use what they see and ridicule what is different. Hell, even one of the guys I went to school with still has his nickname, to this day, and high school was many years ago. Fortunately for him, he was one of the well endowed so his nickname isn't bad in my mind.
  9. Yesterday
  10. Brokenness

    I was lucky in that my locker room experiences as a kid were minimal. There was a brief swimming curriculum in my gym class, but i never showered and always changed under a towel. A lot of the kids did. There were a few guys who seemed to relish in the opportunity to show off their goods and for good reason. I was intimidated and ashamed. But nobody ever saw what i had.
  11. Brokenness

    I made it in and out of the showers with no one seeing my junk. I tend to avoid that situation when i can, but usually the only time i have to work out is on my way to work, and i'm not going to work stinky. i am in a better place mentally now.
  12. Brokenness

    That is so crazy. There is no time on earth that a heterosexual man will be less arroused than in a men's lockeroom so it is just no way to judge size. Erect size is the only thing that matters sexually.
  13. On further reading, while @johnlucas' strategy would absolutely work on me, that might have everything to do with the fact that i have a pretty serious submissive streak. Something i cultivated in response to my (real or perceived) anatomical inferiority, but i took to it very naturally. Can't say the same for most men here or most men with SPS.
  14. Omg wow. That would definitely work for me. I have never felt unlovable, but i have always felt unfuckable. Like, sure she loves me. I am smart and sweet and considerate and fun. But she's only with me for that stability and tolerates my unsexiness for it. Never heard this idea, but you are absolutely onto something.
  15. Brokenness

    Sorry for your experience. I'm old (or feel old) and fat (or fat to me) plus i have a small penis and I never get the attention from women. It does suck to feel invisible. I have have similar fears and concerns at the gym which is why I never get nude there. I would rather drive home in sweaty underwear than change in front of others. I think this fear stems back to school when many people were made fun of for many different reasons in the locker room. I remember guys getting picked on for penis size, body weight, lack of body hair, body acne, big nipples, etc... The penis comments always bothered me the most ( as you can imagine) and I would never shower at school for this reason. Guys got nicknames like "stumpy" and "pencil dick" while others who were well endowed ended up with nicknames like "hog" and "muley". The bad thing is that these nicknames extended beyond the locker room so eventually even the girls used them when talking to the guys. I don't know if you had similar locker room experiences or not but for me that's what drives my fear of them.
  16. Brokenness

    I had a thought recently. An excuse to be fair, but a thought all the same. I watch a lot of Anita/lefty stuff on YouTube, usually people on the right taking the piss etc, but it dawned on me that when minorities feel outnumbered or afraid they group together and form a kind of strength. Even if they believe the stupidest things imaginable, they believe it in numbers and have eachother to fight the good fight. If you're black, Hispanic, gay, trans or w/e (blank) sexual is popular these days, you join together and form a union of weakness masquerading as strength. But it works. Black Lives Matter talk mostly shit and are pretty much a hate group, Antifa are the same, full of hate and bullshit. Same for the right in all fairness, those guys and girls can be equally as hateful, but they have eachother. Now, SPS is very similar to all of these groups with one glaring difference...nobody wants to associated with the (non existent) movement. We are a race unto ourselves. We suffer in silence, there is no group, we are separate singularities hurtling through life terrified of every potential collision. Ok, there's a forum. But even if we met we wouldn't be shouting about our struggle. We're not breaking out the banners. Also, it's not obvious. We're not a certain ethnic group, we're not dressed a certain way. We can be anyone, from anywhere at any time. A business man, a lollypop man, a teacher, a busker, any race, any body type, absolutly anyone. There is no joining, there's only active denial. If we want to dig ourselves out of this pit of despair then prepare for a lonely one man climb to the peak with no Sherpa and no ropes. A free climb to happiness with rocks looser than a hookers chuff. There's nobody at the top to congratulate you on a climb well done, just you. It's worth the climb, I can attest to that, although every now and again I throw myself off the cliff again and have to take the ski lift back up. I don't know where I'm going with this tbh, but that's what it feels like sometimes. Like being a leper who's arm could drop of at any moment and reveal us for the truly unworthy disease we are. Of course none of this is true, but it feels true occasionally. The LGBTQ feel like their oppression is real. Some minorities feel like their struggle is real. And I guess we do too from time to time, especially when something happens that makes us question why? Was that random or because of my cock. I love you guys, you'll all a real help when I'm feeling like shit. I don't know what you look like or where you're from a lot of the time, but it's nice to know I can still get WiFi on shit mountain. Do you know what live on shit mountains? Mountain shit lions, Bobandy.
  17. OMG thank you. i needed to read this just now. If and when you have this convo with your man, show him this.
  18. Brokenness

    I've had a really good week until just now. I had put my own concerns and judgments aside and was focused on others in my life and useful, helping, etc. This morning was good too. Woke up really early to take care of the kids. Way too early, but i didn't get upset about it. I felt blessed to be able to spend quality time with them. Then i got to the gym, and trigger city. As i'm punchingnin my code to enter, another guy does the same and bith the cute young women behind the counter said "good morning" when he arrived (after me). I smiled at one of them but she didn't notice. At the same time, he said "good morning ladies" and they both smiled at him and one asjed how he was doing. I was then done punching in and walked around him to enter the gym. In my mind, that last interaction was a referendum on my attractiveness and my worthiness. I failed the referendum outright. And the reason i failed is because my dick is small. Then i went straight to the locker room to change. Luckily i didn't have to strip down all the way as i don't need clean boxers until after i shower. But just being in there made me extra self conscious about my junk. And of course, it's a cold morning, if you catch my meaning... Aaaaaaaagh!!! Nobody else in this place gives a flying fuck about my penis. But there's all this hypothetical nonsense flying around in my mind, and i see every person in here as a threat or a taunt, and not as fellow humans full of beauty and flaws and problems. Triumphs, losses, worries, humor, sadness, interesting ideas and stories, and especially not their own fears and insecurities. Because obviously, i'm the only loser who has any of those. Man, it's liberating to name the lies i tell myself. And to surrender my "self" for the purpose of bringing me closer to others and replace animosity with empathy. But i still have to brave the shower after this workout is done. I can do this. But it's such a challenge.
  19. So how would one fix stupidity?

    Me neither, I'm thick as pig shit, but I forgive it and let it go, which might be smarter than being smart but I'm not smart enough to tell one way or the other 😂. I'll take being a happyish idiot over smartish misery any day.
  20. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Having a smaller penis myself I can empathise with any guy who is suffering from self confidence. It’s a difficult issue to talk to anyone about. Especially close friends and family. Aged 59 I am still a virgin. In the sense I’ve never had intercourse. My two experiences when a teenager were scary as both girls, though polite could not take foreplay any further. Being much older now I appreciate that had I soldiered on then I’d have found the ideal lady. So I just wanted to give my opinion. Barry UK
  21. Diet/Gym/Health/Sanity

    They charge for the seals and penguins? Highway robbery. As long as the kid had fun that's all that matters I guess haha. Where did you come up from? My wife has been wanting to try other Christmas markets around the country. Glasgows markets are pretty good.
  22. So how would one fix stupidity?

    I love your writing mate. You're hilarious. Thanks for the kind words. Yeah I do get plenty of sleep but I wake up feeling tired still, as though I hadn't slept a wink. I still think l genuinely have a very low iq. I never really felt smart even as a kid.
  23. Diet/Gym/Health/Sanity

    I rode that seal the whole time haha. My kid nicked one off a woman who got taken away by an ambulance (saved me a fiver, she didn't need it anyway lol) and I pushed that seal fucker around the while time. Very tiring, very painful in those stupid skates, but fun I guess.
  24. So how would one fix stupidity?

    Yeah I guess i do a lot better outside of the classroom. I prefer doing things practically.
  25. So how would one fix stupidity?

    Hi Vic. I'm mostly very busy trying go get my life on track. School keeps me very busy, I'm still working on moving out, I've been going strong in no fap, and reduced my porn usage. The weight is proving to be very challenging though. How are things your side?
  26. Diet/Gym/Health/Sanity

    I've seen a few people fall on their arse at that place. I've seen a few adults use they penguins and seals that are meant for kids haha. It's funny how the human body works. I sneezed once and cracked two ribs yet played rugby for 6 years and never once got injured.
  27. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Thanks for replying, InLuvWspsMAN. Yeah, I like to go in detail when I say something. I leave no stone unturned. I like to BREAK IT DOWN! Hahahahahaha! Yep, I read it right. He's hiding. He's running. He's scared of you & is making excuses not to confront the feelings he has for you. He's scared that if he gets close, you 2 will smash together like magnets. And that means an outright sexual connection as well as a relationship. That means revealing the source of his anxiety, his penis. He's scared like Ola Ray is in Michael Jackson's Thriller. See, my zodiac sign is Taurus. Now I don't think of astrology as much more than a game but I like the characteristics of my sign. We're solid thinkers. VERY decisive. Deliberate & stubborn until we reach our goal. Feet on solid ground. Earth. The Bull is heavy with his hooves planted firmly on solid ground. When he doesn't wanna move, he don't move. Can't move him either. But when he wants to move, he's moving. Can't STOP him from moving. One direction he will charge until he smashes through the barrier. ¡Olé! In the Chinese zodiac, my sign is the Dragon. The strong majestic confident beast who is direct & motivated. So imagine this overgrown heavy beast with horns, hooves, scales flying through the sky breathing fire as it charges in one direction until it reaches its goal. What can you do with a Bull-Dragon? Not a damn thing, that's what. That's the kind of mentality I'm trying to impart to you on this issue. Dithering & wishy-washy-ness are my pet peeves. I remove the grays & turn them into blacks & whites so I can make a clear decision. I remove the fuzzies & put window cleaner on the screen so I can see the clear picture. I do my best not to remain double-minded on a situation. I filter everything down to a single-minded goal. The guy is SERIOUSLY double-minded & we have to clear that mess up. And yes, I ALSO tell you these hardcore methods to do away with YOUR fear & scared nature. To end YOUR wishy-washy-ness & dithering. InLuvWspsMAN, I'm COUNTING on you not being able to control yourself. That's part of my plan. I'm looking at this thing as a car that needs a jump from jumper cables to get started. I'm thinking if we just get the spark going, we'll get the fire we need to rev that engine. I'm thinking of this as a domino effect. One thing knocks over the other, knocks over the other, & once it starts it can't be stopped. I want his fragile house of cards to collapse as you 2 play "52 Pickup" together. Now I'm getting some interesting feedback from posters lostboy1 & YOTH (AKA YahwehOrTheHighway) that this method I proposed might backfire. I'm still mighty confident that this plan will work even though I will take their concerns into consideration. I'm still learning on this issue after all. But I feel if you keep up the things you HAVE been doing so far, that you'll be going around & around for infinity. This cat-and-mouse chase will never end! Like I said I remove the grays & make it black or white. I clear up the fuzzies. I clear up the fog. Something's got to give here! Enough is enough! See, you have laid the foundation already. You did the subtle cues & slow build-up necessary to brew attraction & it has been reciprocated by him. If I knew you were in the beginning stages of contacting him, my advice would have been different. But you have been at this for awhile now. The foundation is virtually complete. All you gotta do is even out the top layer of cement & then you can start building the house. It's virtually ready to go. Yes, when you mentioned him not responding too well to subtle hints, there's a reason for that. You're communicating in a Female style to a Male. Like I said, men are DIRECT. You gotta hit him over the head. We don't read clues that well generally. Indirect Communication will yield less results than Direct Communication to a man. That's how I discovered the Lust vs. Love thing with the Small Penis Guys in the first place. I kept noticing women trying to console them by saying stuff like "I love the whole man not just the penis" or "If you have confidence then it won't matter". And all I kept seeing from those messages is women dancing AROUND the main subject: The Penis. It's biology. Women are the buyers. Men are the sellers. Women do the choosing. Men do the offering. And since every teenaged girl gets the potential of countless endless relentless offers & hard-sells from horny teenaged boys, these girls begin shooing away the excess offers & sells by default. The attention is common & since wealth makes waste, the girls become choosier looking for a rarer deal & offer. By the time the girls become full grown women, they have seen it all before, they have heard every pick-up line, they have encountered every lustful look. It gets old because it's so constant. That's why women want men to rein in some of their aggressiveness when they approach. That's why women generally don't like it when you focus on a particular body part of theirs which attracts (unless it's the eyes or something more benign). You hear women complain about 'objectification' even though they ARE objects just like men & every other noun & parcel of matter in this universe. If you are a subject, you are automatically an object. 'She' is a pronoun & is called a Subject in grammar for a reason just as "He" is. The phrase "All Living Things" signifies that we ARE a type of thing, we ARE material, we ARE matter, we matter. All of that is just an extension of women's biological nature. Women spend a lot of time rejecting or discouraging unwanted attention. It becomes second nature after awhile. They have years of experience. So they like it MORE when men focus on the WHOLE woman not just her breasts, not just her butt, not just her legs. In this meat market called the Sexual Marketplace, women know their parts are seen as public display on public property. So being itchy about being overly lusted for & picked apart visually, as if inspecting produce or meat, is a way to reclaim ownership of their bodies & their identities. Hence they think they're doing a good thing by NOT objectifying a man part by part saying indirect statements like "I love the whole man not just the penis". But men ain't women. Testosterone exists. Men WANT to be objectified. Men WANT you to focus on their parts. Men WANT you to Lust for them instead of downplaying your Lust for sensibilities. Men NEVER get attention by default like women do. They have to do all the presenting. They have to do all the approaching. The rare men who DO get attention like women do are the exception not the rule (and you notice these type of men operate like women being choosy since they have surplus). There's a reason you can't run a prostitution business on women as the main audience. There's a reason you can't support a porn site catering to women alone. The entire economy runs on male horniness. The Male Sex Drive & what he does to impress that Female he wants to get. Men are the sellers & they have products to offer. They desperately want a buyer & don't want to lose a sale to another seller. But sometimes if the seller doesn't think he can close the deal, he'll withdraw the product to preserve its value. Penis is the Product (well, one of them anyway). So women MUST focus on that product, on that part. It's not "I love the whole man not just the penis", it's "I love your penis". MUCH more Direct of a statement, wouldn't you say? And you prove it by explaining IN DETAIL WHY you love his penis as you ALSO SHOW IN ACTION your love of his penis. That's totally the opposite strategy from the strategy of women. Women want you to downplay your lust. Men want you to up-play it. I will research further the DEGREE of up-play now that I have heard the words of lostboy1 & YOTH. But I know it's up-play. And yes, I definitely understand that you want to be pursued as well. That you have your OWN barriers & walls you want to have broken down. But we're in the age of gender equality. You don't HAVE to wait on the man to make the first move anymore. I believe that when you open him up, he'll reciprocate to you. He'll calm YOUR fears as you calm HIS fears. He just needs to know that he can trust you with his anxiety. Because the costs are high if you're not trustworthy. YOLO. You Only Live Once (at least in this form). So don't live with regret. Turn over that stone. Remove his hiding place. Remove his cover. Don't put yourself in a place where you never tried all possibilities & will be left wondering "what if". I'm ABSOUTELY CONVINCED that you 2 will make a wonderful couple together & I want to see this happen. I'm rooting for ya! Now for the aftermath when we get this matchup to work... From what I have read, these guys get occasional flare-ups of insecurity from time to time. It's because the Small Penis Prejudice is so universal in the culture. They hear the mockery & insults in media, at the workplace, from family even. They hear it in proxy conversations or references. They're not talking directly to him most times. They're just talking about people LIKE him. So they suffer by proxy with this constant barrage of picture & sound, of text & spoken word about how inferior, unworthy, & subhuman they are. If you want I can give you a sample of this kind of stuff in Private Message (I will not post it here). Noticing the "zeitgeist" of it all, the general cultural scene is how I discovered the issues of women & their weight when I took notice of supermarket checkout magazines with weight loss propaganda thrust in your face all the time. Once you notice the scene, you will begin to see it everywhere. It's like when you drive a particular brand of car & you start suddenly seeing your type of car everywhere else on the road when you didn't before. But here's the fun thing. So many people miss out on this simple observation. Small-sized men seem to be the most devoted & most sincere to women. They want to be a woman's hero. All the angst you see from them is a result of them thinking of women so highly. They live to please their woman. It's their life duty. This is why some of them turn into woman-haters after dealing with harsh rejection directly or by proxy. They don't feel that their high regard for women is appreciated & it turns them into monsters who are trying to reject their inborn nature by being the exact opposite. They go from hardcore woman-lovers to hardcore woman-haters. When a woman genuinely desires & approves of a small-penised man, that woman will become his rock. She will become the constant in the chaos. When Auntie Em is being swept into the Hurricane of Life out there, this man will say there's no place like Home. And His Woman is Home. The bonds get stronger between you as he resists the degradation towards his kind in the outside world. When things aren't going right, he will come to you & he will embrace you. And when you reciprocate this togetherness, you will have never SEEN such a devoted man in your life. He will treat you like a Queen & do everything he can to please you. To him, it's the LEAST he can do. It's his life project. All you gotta do is repeat process as necessary. Make sure you let him know his penis is approved of by Word AND Deed. ACTION, remember? Whenever he has a flare-up just repeat the process of Lust as you tell him AND show him how much you like his penis & performance. A man is his penis. The penis is the representation of his manhood, of his Y chromosome. If you approve of his penis, you approve of that man. It's that simple. Really. If he knows you really connect with him like that, he knows he's good with you. By proxy it shows the loyalty he seeks from his woman. And if he knows he is approved of WITH loyalty, the dividends will be infinite. Over time with enough of this feedback, the penis size complex will collapse or at least decline to manageable levels. He'll be a more open person free to express himself with a LOT less doubt. Confidence will be the byproduct & that's attractive to you as a woman. Confidence cannot be faked or grasped like a item. Confidence is the byproduct of positive results. Confidence comes from winning. All of his prior anxiety will be a distant memory & your relationship will flow smoother as he discards that old baggage. Years & years together can create that everlasting relationship everybody dreams of. He knows you stuck by him when he was at rock bottom. And each year the relationship will get more intimate & comfortable where you 2 know you can trust each other like no one else. You want to protect him? He'll want to protect you. Things will become reciprocal once he knows you're truly in his corner. This thing GOTTA happen. You already laid out the scenario. It's already a done deal in my opinion. All we gotta do is get the signature on the line. Signed, Sealed, Delivered, says Stevie Wonder. All we gotta do is get the contact going. And once that's done to get the connection going. After that, perpetual motion machine. Everything else takes care of itself. You 2 will ratchet each other to the top by design. If my words give you the Triforce of Courage you need to Link up (Legend of Zelda references here), then I'm glad to give 'em. Link has the Triforce to pull out the Master Sword. He has that Courage. Hopefully my words will give that Courage to both you AND your man. John Lucas
  28. will I ever get better?

    I miss my adopted cat. I think her name was Milly but I called her Cat Stevens. She spent all day at our house and most nights (her real owners lived a few doors down and worked late). We shared her for years, then they moved and she went with them. I just put up with her at first, but one week in to having her around I was cooking her bacon at 2am. She was really cool, they're so intuitive. They're also selfish, scratchy, mouse & bird serial killers with cute eyes where human empathy would go but that why we love them even more. Little tigers 😂
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