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  1. 5 likes
    Try not to dwell on your wife having been with someone who had a bigger penis too much, it's particularly toxic and can slowly deteriorate an otherwise perfect marriage/relationship. And so what if some guy was bigger, she didn't marry him, she married you. I bet if she was to describe you she wouldn't be so harsh, she'd probably say a great husband and a loving father, not fat, hairy with little dick. If I was you, I'd talk to her about how you're feeling, it's staggering what people don't know about us even though we're convinced they do. She's your wife, your lover and confidant. I guarantee she'd be supportive and loving. Don't let it get in the way too much, I wasted a lot of time in the past living in fear and denial and it isn't worth the bother. And if the internet and blogs regarding penis size etc bring up anger then avoid them like the plague. I come here now for the odd grumble and to catch up with everyone suffering from this bollocks, if it made me unhappy or angry I'd drop it like a shitty flannel. Do what makes you happy, brother. ☮
  2. 4 likes
    Well said jackbolin. "it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog"
  3. 4 likes
    I can't really add much more than what others have said, but I can say that I've been through the exact same situation as you. Had a g/f, we had mutual friends, we broke up, she told the biggest mouth bitch of the group and then it was all over the place. Now I handled it a bit different. She didn't have any pics of my small guy, so I just denied it and offered to whip it out for anyone who wanted to see. I called their bluff, and of course they all said "no, don't do that". But I realized that these people were NOT my friends, and I cut them out of my life. I went on to get married. Now, that didn't exactly work out but it had nothing to do with my small penis. I tell you that because we all should realize that there are women out there who don't care about size. They are indeed more difficult to find, but they are out there. It's been my experience that it's best to be upfront about your size before any sexual activity occurs. That eliminates a lot of awkwardness, for you and her. I know how much situations like these suck, I know how frustrating/angry/sad/lonely, etc etc it can be. Just make up your mind that the size of your penis does not define you as a man and as a human being, because it doesn't.
  4. 4 likes
    Hello everyone. I have been a long time lurker on his website and more specifically this sub topic. I have read mostly everything and I just want to say I know exactly how you all feel. I used to be a happy confident guy but one day I woke up and I haven't been the same since. For around the past year every second of my day has been taken by the same thoughts- I have a small penis and what can I do to make it bigger. I think it all started when I made the huge mistake of asking my wife then girlfriend if she had had a bigger penis before. I knew the answer before I had asked the question. I almost tried to stop myself from asking but didn't. In in the last year I got married and had a baby and still all I can think about is this. I spend all my day on websites reading the same stuff over and over again trying to believe the lie when people say size doesn't matter. I now look at myself as nothing but a fat hairy guy with a tiny penis. My wife says everything is fine but that means nothing to me now i thought I was the only man in the world who felt this way until I found this website and as horrible as it is to feel this way the fact I'm not the only guy like this makes me feel a bit better. Reading some of your stories the similarities to our stories are frightening. I know none of what I wrote probably makes sense but I just wanted to thank each and every one of you on here. The fact you take the time out your day to help out strangers really makes me smile. Thank you.
  5. 4 likes
    Welcome to the community. I'm glad that feeling a sense of community here on the site has been comforting in some way to you through your struggles. Knowing that makes me smile. I'm sorry that you have been feeling insecure with yourself. I'm not sure what to say that might be helpful. We're here to listen. I hope to hear more from you in the future. Congratulations on your marriage and new baby. I hope you are able to enjoy some peaceful, loving moments with your new family. Take care.
  6. 3 likes
    Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting to this site. To give you a little background information, I am 30 years old and I am quite small. I am about 3.5 inches and it is something that has caused a lot of issues with me emotionally and socially. I have had 2 girlfriends in the past and the sex has never been a highlight of either one of those relationships. Anyways, to get back to my current issues... About 6 months ago I found out that my crazy ex from a couple years ago told my closest friends that I am tiny. I know for a fact that she told them that I was small, but I do not know the details of what she said or exactly how she said it. I know she has some pictures of it to and I hope that she wasn't that mean to share those, but I wouldn't put it past her (she was the biggest mistake of my life). So about 6 months ago I started noticing some of my friends making small penis jokes indirectly around me or felt like some have been talking behind my back about it. It also seemed like I was being laughed at by my friends when I would pursue or talk to a girl when out or while dating. Now my group of friends consists of girls, guys, some married, and some single. The comments that have been said or things I have over heard has been extremely hurtful. They have been so hurtful that I even ran, physically ran away, from them while out at a party once. I have spent many nights after crying about the fact that I am small and now that my friends know my deepest secret that I spent almost 30 years hiding. The hardest part about all of this is that I have spent so many years being the stand up guy that I thought I was. I have always been a great friend to all of them and I have totally felt like complete crap after this. I feel like my self worth has been diminished because of my friends. I feel like they consider me a freak and they don't even want to hang out with me sometimes because of this. I have spent many dark days and nights wondering how to fix this and I cant think of anyway. I honestly hate myself because I have a small penis and I cant stand that my friends know that I am tiny. It has affected a lot of my life that every time I hang out with them, all I can think about is what they might be thinking about my size. If my friends laugh when I show up, I assume they are talking about my size. I once even think they told a girl I was talking to that I was tiny because she stopped talking to me instantly when one of my friends (who is a girl) talked with her. To put it simply, my confidence is shot and I am hurt that my friends know. Has anyone had this happen to them? I cant think of anyway to fix this and I really do not know what to do. Sorry if I rambled on...this is how my head seems to work lately.
  7. 3 likes
    Thank you for the great information. I guess I have some more reading to do. I have thought about confronting the ones that have been saying it and I have analyzed a million different ways to bring it up, but it is so hard to find the courage to do so. I want them to know how wrong it is for them to say these things and how much it really hurts me when they joke around. I feel like I am generally not a sensitive person, but this topic is such a hot button for me. I just wished they would live a day or two in my shoes with this issue. I wish they would experience the sexual humiliation that I have had to experience when trying to date a girl. I wish they could feel how I feel as an outsider to many people. And lastly I wish they could feel how I feel when the dark days get so dark that I have exhausted all of my motivation and self worth. I honestly dont wish what I have been through upon anyone, but if they could just get a small taste of my life, then maybe they would feel horrible for the things they say. What also hurts the most is that these people are supposed to be my friends. These are the people that are supposed to support me. These are the people that should be there for me when I am feeling this way. Why would someone have to ruin these types of friendships? I sometimes forget who I am pissed off the most at during this situation. I dont know if I am more pissed at my crazy ex for telling them or my friends for continuing to make fun of me. Sometimes I am pissed off at myself for even allowing things to get to this point. For once I felt like I was apart of the "popular" kids or the "cool" crowd. I hate to use those labels, but when you had a childhood like mine, you would understand. When I was with my friends, I felt invisible and I was loving life. And now I am so disgusted with them that I feel like I will never be able to experience those relationships anymore. Sorry! I am rambling on again. If at most I get some relief by venting to you all...I thank you all for a kind ear.
  8. 3 likes
    The worst mistake i ever made was dating someone I work with. This was about 15 years ago. We dated for almost a year. The sex, for me, was fine. And it must've been for her as well 'cause even after we broke up she'd show up at my door just wanting sex..and I obliged her. But then a really bad scene happened between the 2 of us (having nothing to do with sex) and naturally she told the female with the biggest mouth where we work how small i was and that she could only feel me when she was riding me, etc etc....The whole place knew I was small. It was tough...it was humiliating....but I just tried to spin it that I was normal size and that she was extra large in her vaginal area because of her slutty past and would offer to whip my cock out on the spot to prove i wasn't small....they'd always stop me. I called their bluff and I won. I sucessfully spinned the story against her, even though I was lying my ass off. But I'm not above lying if it avoids me feeling humiliated.
  9. 3 likes
    I always tell myself that we are all going to die anyway so why hurry the process?- there are lots of things in life to enjoy even if it turns out that sex isnt one of them. I was ill last week with an awful bug and it made me more grateful for simply being healthy. Being small matters lot less when violently vomiting! Perspective does change. We are here today- may as well make the best of it....
  10. 2 likes
    Are you lonely because you have/think you have a small penis? Do you live in the UK? Are you looking for a male friend who also has these issues? Please, please, please!! message me. I am 30, male, nice, funny and very lonely. I am straight but I am happy to be friends with anyone (preferably) male with this. We can overcome this together.
  11. 2 likes
    I would find new friends . People that do that to you are not true friends.
  12. 2 likes
    TimmyStan, I want to offer my support and best wishes to you for a quick recovery from surgery, continued healing, and a future with good health. I hope you are taking time to rest and recover. I would hope that doctors would be respectful when caring for their patients, especially during times of vulnerability. We all deserve that, I think. Heal well, Timmy.
  13. 2 likes
    I'm so glad you went through with it, hopefully the people who need to see your cock in follow ups will be kept to a minimum for your sake. Get well soon and heal up, I'll keep you in my prayers, pal. 👍
  14. 2 likes
    I'd heard this song many times before, but this time it made me think of you and others in a similar situation / with similar girlfriends. Although it's not "about the problem with size", it's about painful aspects of relationships, so I imagine some of you here might like it (?): (The lyrics are under the video.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYaRpBAvESg
  15. 2 likes
    That sucks about your situation with your "friends". I have always remembered something my dad told me when I mentioned that all I seem to do is meet crazy chicks when I was single. He said "maybe it's the people you're hanging around with" now, I know it's not the same topic as your going through but, it can easily be put into it. The people you're hanging out with, if true friends wouldn't be so demeaning towards your situation. I took a hard look at the friends I had around me and I changed it. Granted I still have issues, as we all do, but I have a way more supportive group of friends then I did before. Same thing happened when I split with my ex wife. I lost a bunch of friends. Kept very few, and for some friends almost start over and build our friendship up again. Keep around who you want and supports you. Feel free to message me if you'd like as well. I know I'm not on here as much as some others, but I'll always get back to you. You've got friends here!
  16. 2 likes
    @LaLa I think confronting his friends as a group is a mistake, because the truth is, they aren't his friends. I've had this exact thing happen to me and they're not worth the headache. And Trump didn't mock a disabled person, he did those exact hand gestures to describe someone as crazy when he was on The Apprentice, there are videos on YT of him doing those same gestures to numerous people who weren't disabled, you're watching too much CNN/MSNBC lol. I'm not a Trump supporter by any stretch, but if anyone has been attacked over a penis size guesstimate, it's him. That statue of him was insulting to men and the left lapped it up. @cqbrenner What you're going through is shit, but you're not alone. I had to find real friends in the end because if you read my old posts you'll see all my friends were pretty brutal. And being the butt of every joke eats away at you, but it can get better. Don't give up on yourself, you deserve to happy despite what some of your circle think. And if you do want to speak to them about your pain, then possibly speak to them separately. See who picks you up and who puts you down. Good luck, brother ☮
  17. 2 likes
    Hi, @idontknow, welcome to the forum. Firstly, let me just say that you have an amazing view on your life, and I think it's awesome that you put yourself and your happiness before the things you can't change. I honestly think you have everything you need to make a relationship work. When you love yourself others sense it and love you back. As for the anxiety, it gets to everyone, but we can go lower into that pit of despair than most, but you know you matter and you'll always come back to that. I think you'll be just fine, but we're here if you need to post. And don't worry about the braces, from experience, they don't get in the way too much as it's mainly your tongue and fingers but just be a bit more cautious. And I think you should talk to girls about the situation, it saves any awkwardness and shows you have a good grasp on your own state of mind. Good luck with it all, we all deserve happiness and I know you have it in your future ☮
  18. 2 likes
    I have always had a micro, I'm sixteen, and im not a virgin, I have never been self conscious about my size, if anything, I support my self. I always think positive, because I found out the hard way, if you don't get over being scared, you'll never get any where in life. Be confident.
  19. 2 likes
    I use the word 'gym' loosely because I haven't set foot in one since I was 16 or something. Actually, tell a lie, a friend showed me a climbing wall once. I looked at it, said "cool" and left. But I had been working out at home 5 days out of 7 up until about 11 months ago. 11 months ago we found out we were having our second child, and that's my reason for quitting. If I'm honest I used it as an excuse to stop exercising, I have a track record of it, who hasn't? I'd like to say it was the pressure of an extra mouth to feed and the foundation of my life shifting beneath my feet, but I'd be talking bollocks. I copped out and put on about 2 stone. "It's the stress of the new baby, you know how it is". And most people don't give a shit so just said "Yeh, kids'll do that". But he's a month old now and I haven't got the excuse anymore, so I reckon it's time to start working out again. I'm tired all the time, but even that isn't an excuse as exercising always gave me energy. Not only that but I really enjoyed doing it. So why the fuck did I stop? It's like I'm always looking for a way out. I did three months exercise, lost a ton of weight and actually for the first time ever had body definition. I felt awesome. I even powered through depression, anxiety and pure 100% uncut Columbian laze. I was killing it and feeling amazing, then I threw it away. I recently started kicking my punching bag only to find I'd forgotten how to kick, then after a few minutes I was kicking holes in it. I have to bounce back and say no to takeaways (maybe once a week actually) and say yes to feeling motivated to move. There's no event for finding the motivation to move and yet sometimes it feels as hard as being a front runner in a marathon with all the Kenyans. And speaking of 'energy' I'm giving up all those energy drinks too (maybe start drinking the zero ones). That's another thing, I didn't diet when I was exercising, I just worked out. Mainly because doing the 'right' thing is boring as shit and doing the wrong thing is a lot more satisfying (for about 5 minutes). So that's my pledge. I'm getting back at it. And I'll keep weekly updates here. Unless this post is really old when you're reading it, then I either stopped because I'm a lazy bastard or maybe I dropped dead mid press up. ☮
  20. 2 likes
    I'm curious how or if you guys groom down there? I've heard it said that trimming the shrubs makes the house look bigger. I'm not sure if that holds true for guys with very small packages though. I'm in my fifties and I've been getting waxed for several years now. I like being smooth neat and clean. front and back, but visually I sometimes think it makes me look like a middle aged man with a 10 yr old boy's equipment! Any opinions or experiences?
  21. 2 likes
    This week was better. Maybe because Im studing biochemistry with one of my friends so I had some funny moments. I saw my other friends this week too and we will go out tomorrow. Im just scared that when Im not with them I feel bad and suicidal and I dont have reasons to feel like that at the moment.
  22. 2 likes
    I've been on a diet the last two weeks. 5 days on 2 days off. I'm eating healthy and saying no to sweets, crisps etc on Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu and then taking Fri, Sat off. It seems ok so far, craving a few items but it's all good, I'll wait til Friday. Ate some of the mrs' fish and chips tonight but I'll make up for it on the weekend. Hopefully the days off will help with the overall longevity of the fucking thing.
  23. 2 likes
    how are you feeling today? any better?
  24. 2 likes
  25. 2 likes
    I know how hard it is, and this is a set of circumstances that nobody can fix physically. If you woke up tomorrow with a 7" cock, the truth is that life would probably be more manageable, for most of us in here. But this place (human existence/life/the universe) doesn't work in our favour. It's as seemingly random as it is cruel. The truth is we're all dead anyway, suicide may speed up the inevitable, but even if we're happy as pigs in shit with an idyllic life with no money worries and a 10" brick cracker, we're going to get sick/watch family get sick then get old and die. And let's be honest, cock size doesn't equal happiness no matter what social media would have us believe. Nobody gets out alive as a body. And porn has a high suicide rate too. That profession is linked to more mental health problems that we'd ever care to realise. Let's be honest, people don't go to uni for 5 years to become professional prostitutes. There aren't any magic words that are going to fix you either because like the old Buddhist cliche says 'change comes from within'. For me, my misery was mixture of childhood sexual abuse, my cock size and people's judgement and of course being my own worst enemy. I blamed everyone, parents, abusers, teachers, friends, family, strangers, for my pain but never ever me. I was innocent, a victim of a cruel fate worse than death. And on the back of that I was an unhappy drug addled pessimist with the likeability factor of shit on a slipper. And I hit rock bottom, hard. I had to go through hell to find peace. And even now I become irrational sometimes, even if I come around eventually, forgiveness and acceptance is many things but easy isn't one of them. It's simple, but it isn't easy. You're in pain right now and it's shit, it's worse than shit, it's unbearable shit that feels like a boulder of burden. But for me, I had to realise that the only thing holding me back from being happy was my own guilt, I felt I'd let myself and everyone around me down for being such a freak. It manifested as many things like angry projection, bullying, insistant blame (and as you mentioned, blame builds up resivours of guilt that can tide you over for a hundred years +) but I had to forgive myself for believing I was weak and helpless and hard done to and let myself heal. I had to be my own saviour. I found peace through Jesus, but it took finding him inside myself before I could see him. A version of him that doesn't see imperfections and lack. Not some myth in a dusty book that'd been amended to make him the brooding martyr geared for war, but a forgiving mind that sees only perfection. This isn't where it starts and ends, this where we come learn/remember what we really are. Not unstable humans who get sick and die, but minds that heal themselves and each other in the process. You're perfect the way you are, so am I and everyone who posts in here. I implore you to try meditation and personal card pulling. An old neg thought pops up, and you think 'well I know where this leads, let's not today' and opt for contentment. I also wish I'd given therapy a try when I was younger, I shunned it for a good ten years only to wind up right back where I'd left it. And if I'm honest, It helped a lot. I hope you see the light in you, my friend, it's the only thing that's real and everything else is bunk. Take it easy ☮
  26. 1 like
    @YOTH Thank you for your kind words brother. She is home now and recovering. I think your right about helping others. As shit as we feel there is always others who have it worse I guess. I give a percentage of wages every week to a breast cancer charity. I thought that had me covered haha.
  27. 1 like
    @Smallbeans I can imagine. Nothing knocks you off your feet like that. Your priorities change so drastically when they're born and nothing can prepare you for that feeling of helplessness. Hey, @Helpless_loner where about in the world are you?
  28. 1 like
    @TimmyStan1967 hey I'm new here and barely know anyone but I just want to say I'm glad to hear you got the surgery and are on the mend. I can only imagine how you felt with the nurse and getting the catheter out. I'm sure she has seen a lot smaller than yours. As horrible as having our "condition" is your story shows there is much more important things in life. I dont know if im trying convince you more than myself.
  29. 1 like
    I reported in here a while back I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I stated that there was no way I was getting the surgery. Well I did. I am just thinking of that moment when I was rolled into the OR and all those people standing over me. I knew that when I was put under and uncovered all those people were just going to say to themselves...."Holy Fuck look at that pathetic pecker." It was amazing that throughout the whole number of appointments up to and following my diagnosis, no one really saw my penis. I got many rectal exams. My specialist who did the surgery never saw my cock until the day of the surgery. I spent one night in the hospital and I kept myself covered as much as I could. It just sucked so bad thinking how many people saw my pathetic member. I have to go back to my follow up appointment next week where I am going to be fully awake in the office and I am going to have to whip it out. I have a catheter in me right now and that has to be removed.
  30. 1 like
    It was the worst experience of my life. I'm a 26 year old man with a mortgage and a beard and I cried like a little child. We were the same. Barely went out but I thought I have spent thousands on making my house perfect for me to not leave haha.
  31. 1 like
    Sounds like a nightmare. But so what if she said that to someone, they don't know you. But to be honest, most nurses dealing with penises are very knowledgeable in actual sizes especially flaccid. My friend was a nurse in a nursing home dealing with old men all day and I once heard her saying that the average penis isn't what most women fantasise it being. And most flaccid penises are smaller than what you'd think, so I wouldn't over analyse it too much, although I imagine the feeling was quite horrific. I'm just glad you had it done 😃👍
  32. 1 like
    The army thing is kinda dumb, I'm sorry if it came off as lame. But you are spot on - the message is the same. We should stick together and like I have said I am willing to travel to meet you guys. Ideally we should pick somewhere on the train line, for example a major city which is somewhere central to everyone interested in coming. Or we see about all attending an event for example a comedy gig??? How would you feel about somewhere in London? if not here what about Cambridgeshire? - just a few suggestions.
  33. 1 like
    I will never forget the horror years ago when I was visiting my wife's family in Texas and went to this really cool club. It was the big modern facility and when I went to take a leak all they had were those fucking troughs. No urinals and the toilets were being used and I had to go. That is the cruelest joke that can be played on a man with a small dick and of course the guys with the really big dicks just whip them out and put their hands on their hips and lean back and pee.
  34. 1 like
    I think that the best days any of us have had involve the hope that we have found someone who isn't out to get us. Don't shoot me down, I am really trying reach out - I have had more bad experiences with being ridiculed and singled out than I wish to remember. I am sure that there is a better way than wasting my efforts on w**kers who just want to make fun of me. I get really depressed with the loneliness and wanting to have some real mates. No more hiding and no more fear of being belittled about just being alive.
  35. 1 like
    Bizzarecontact, while we encourage free expression here, it isn't okay to post inflammatory content, the details of sexual encounters are unnecessary here, and we certainly don't condone hacking other sites. I think there are ways to empower oneself in a positive way. I hope forming friendships proves to be healing, lookingforafriend.
  36. 1 like
    I'd like to make the same offer that looking made. I'm a lonely guy who has a small penis and anyone anywhere can feel free to message me. I'd love to make a friend/friends. I'm in my late 40's so if you're younger, maybe I've been through something that you haven't. Age/race/orientation makes no difference to me. I'd be happy to talk to you and I'm genuinely interested in helping other guys who have the same problem(s) that I do. Hope to hear from you.
  37. 1 like
    Thanks for the hi. It's my size. I have been seen at the kings hospital for the size study and told my penis was big but my mind says know. I am a grower not a shower.
  38. 1 like
    Sorry to hear that, life certainly isn't fair. Accepting it is definitely the way to go. As far as we know this is your one chance to live and, ultimately, you can choose to live your entire life feeling sorry for yourself & feeling anxious about it or accepting it & living life to it's fullest potential. Your issue is a tough one, but no one is perfect and I guarantee any girl you're with is self conscious about something as well. For me I started losing my hair when I was 20, which really ruined some years for me when I could have otherwise accepted it and enjoyed what I did have: health, clean conscience(at the time), good family & friends, etc. I can't get those years back I spent stressed out about my hair loss and I ended up going bald anyway, so what did I get from worrying about it? Nothing. Just wasted time when I could have gotten over it and enjoyed myself best I could. Not saying your issue is just like mine, but I hope you can extrapolate that into your own situation. I'm not sure about others, but I also feel that self consciousness goes away more and more as you get older, I imagine things will only get easier for you as time goes on and you become more and more comfortable in your skin. You sound like a good guy and that's all that matters in the end. All the best man and hope you can feel good about yourself.
  39. 1 like
    I can't handle yelling either. That includes when it's not even directed at me. I take it so personally. Sounds like your Mum has a lot on her plate. Maybe you could ask her to set up a night where you do certain chores and get paid a certain amount for them. She can do some at the same time so you are making the house look nice together. It might be motivating for you and reduce her stress (and possibly back pain) immensely. If you do this every week, you can probably get it down to an hour a week. Even that amount can be a huge help.
  40. 1 like
    I'm sure everyone gets tired of seeing posts like this, but it's different when you're the one dealing with it. I'm a big guy at 6'1 and around 230lbs. I have big hands and big feet. I'm pretty muscular for someone who is almost 21. All these things wouldn't lead you to believe that I actually have a poorly endowed penis. My penis is 4 inches on a good day. It looks like a baby penis on me. I didn't realize I was small until I was 17 and a half. I've never had a girlfriend or actual relationship. The few sexual encounters I've had, while dating others, end terribly. I've never felt so much shame, embarrassment and anger in my life. It sucks. I've spent way too many hours googling and researching different things to help me. It doesn't help. It doesn't help that I still wake up with my little penis. It doesn't make the terrible moments that happened to me better. I've heard the "people that do that are shallow and mean" excuse, but let's be honest. It's not their fault for wanting a little more. I'm still a virgin and I don't see myself being sexually active for a long time. I can talk to girls and guys easily. I can't talk to a girl that I like because I feel like I'm leading them on for disappointment. I'm not happy with my small penis so I know that the girl wouldn't be. It's like you're setting them up. I know I'm small so I shouldn't be going out to find someone to feel let down because they're with a small guy again. I don't hate my life. I just feel lonely at times. I don't like find girls attractive anymore because the first thing that pops into my mind is "look how nice they are and pretty" why would I try to make them accept me when I can't except myself? I replay my embarrassing moments from time to time and wonder if I should've apologized or let the girl know before hand. Everything is great and I'm awesome and all that, but then it's like boom and now I'm more of a friend and bye. I'm very quite about my sexual life because it doesn't exist and I'm embarrassed about it. I'm comfortable with everything else about me, but that. It's tough. It makes me laugh in disbelief that I'm just so small. It looks funny. It's funny until I realize everything in reality. I'm tired of always hearing it doesn't matter or you'll be liked because of the person you are. Sexual comparability is huge for a relationship. I can't be confident about a really small dick. I feel terrible, if a girl things I'm attractive. It's so misleading. I know this is all terrible and I shouldn't think like this. I promised I'd never be embarrassed like I have in past experiences. It's easier to just be alone. You just get days where it's really hard to push on. I can't even imagine being married or having kids. That all requires me to get over my penis. It's selfish though to like make someone deal with this. How's it fair to be in a relationship or married to someone who you can't satisfy? Yes, I can do a lot of other things, but it's not the same. That's like being in a really expensive sports car. You can sit in every seat, but you're not allowed to drive it. This just eats at me. I try to accept being alone, but it's hard. I just wish that like I could get over this. That I was average. It just looks so bad every time I see it. One look and you can just see. It makes me wonder if something went wrong during my development. It just sucks. Idk. I hate this. If you've read all of this, thanks for taking the time to do so. Sorry this was kinda long.
  41. 1 like
    @Helpless_loner I know what you mean. If my feet were size 8 nobody would give a shit, but if you're cock is 5 it's life changing, literally. And as for being happy, it's swings and roundabouts tbh. Just try to take time in the day to relax and give yourself a break from the negative thoughts. I meditate and it can make all the difference. Helps me find a peaceful centre where I'm not hating myself for the things I can't change. Don't give up hope tho, I truly believe there's a non judgemental girl out there just waiting to meet you.
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    Hello, Vini, welcome! Don't worry about the length of your post! It's better to explain well your situation and it needs enough space! You seem to describe 3-4 different issues, although they are probably linked somehow. First of all, your recent experience, when going from the church. When I read it, I don't have the impression that it would have to be probably a big problem. I think most of (or at least a significant part of us) us have sometimes such "moments" when everything seems just insupportable, we are overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts and we long for "a saviour, a lifesaver" (the nature of which depends on our preferences and convictions, including religion). Such a situation (outburst of emotions etc.) doesn't have to mean that "we've gone crazy" or anything of that kind, it even doesn't have to influence much our lives (this depends rather on our reaction to it, on our analysis of the reasons and the conclusions we make). So, I'd like to ask you several questions to clarify it for us, if you don't mind: Why and in which sense, in particular, this experience seems so shocking to you? And do you feel some big influence of it on your present situation - if yes, then what is it? Most of all; can you identify "all" the reasons why you might have felt that way (when walking home from church)? (It seems to me, from what you wrote, that it might have been triggered by your feeling of being judged by others in the church - it reminded you of this suspicion and for some accidental reason, it was "the last drop" and your emotions, that have been accumulating during some time already, started to outburst. But there're also some other important question: What if your conviction was true? What would it mean to you if people were considering you "crazy or something"? And if you new for sure that they do think so, what would you do; would you change something? It's important because... it's possible that you won't never know (let's compare it to the most known case - infidelity: One can only proof infidelity, but never proof it's absence - it's the same with "harsh judgement of others about you") and this uncertainty could be really hurtful to you, unnecessarily! So the best thing you could do is not to care much about it and care only about the only thing you can influence and the only thing that matters in this regard: Your behaviour, values, ... - If you know what's "right", then do it and avoid what you consider really against your fundamental values - in other words, try to be the person you'd like to be ("a good guy"), not seeking the approval of others. Does it make sense to you? I'm not sure I'm explaining it well - it sounds a little clumsy to me... So, this is already related to the second problem you mention: The problem is only if you obsess about "not knowing, not being sure, being scared that it might be true". The problem isn't the uncertainty itself, because, as I said, you can never see into the minds of others, so... you can just live in a way that you "interact politely and correctly with them" and take into account only what people say and do to you, not "what they perhaps think". If this is such a problem for you that you cannot "function normally" (because you're too much preoccupied by the fear etc.), then it sounds like paranoia or obsession. In that case (if it sounds and feels like an actual paranoia or obsession to you), the best solution would be to find a psychotherapist (cognitive-behavioural, for instance) who would help you to overcome it. How are your options in this regard? Does your university offer services of psychologists? (-That would be a good place to start.) What pills do you mean? (Vitamins are surely safe in this regard, so... what's the other-one?) This is also something that can be well explored and dealt with in psychotherapy. But you can start yourself, perhaps by writing here about yourself and trying to 'analyze' how you've become what you are now and to search for some ways how to become more open to new experiences. You already had one - you were able to develop a good, deep relationship with the girl abroad. I know it's depressing to loos it , but don't let the sorrow and the fear of being hurt again prevent you from forming new friendships. Good luck and take care!
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    Two potentially helpful websites: https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/category/stoic-advice/ http://viewonbuddhism.org/delusion_introduction.html
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    You opened up and shared with us here, 3decade. That is not easy to do and we want you to feel supported here in our community. I have trouble being assertive at times too. I'm sorry you were bullied. That's a terrible thing to have to experience and cope with. Regarding your relationship, what do you want and need? Is this marriage something you want and, if so, how would things need to change? Are you able to discuss with your wife? If the marriage isn't what you want, then I think it's important to consider your wants and needs. Best wishes and take care.
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    Welcome to our community, Lauren. I'm Beth. I'm sorry you're coping with so much. I can relate to the struggle with anxiety and I have a daughter who has OCD. I hear that you feel harsh with yourself right now. Is there also a part of you who feels compassion for yourself? I hope so. You're going through a lot and doing the best you can to manage and cope. Is your husband supportive? Take care, Lauren. I hope expressing yourself here is helpful.
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    Thank you all for your kind replies.... when I read them, the rational voice in my head tells me ''of course they're right, you've never done anything and you never will'' but I'm so scared. Deep down, I know the thoughts are not real. But it's like... I don't know. Maybe they will become real because I think about them so much? I know I'm not making sense. I've taken fluoxetine since I was 16 (23 now) and the OCD became easier to cope with at first, but recently it's started getting worse again. I'm just so scared. I mean, I've done bad things before. In 4th grade, a boy was bullying me, and after a while I just saw red, gripped him by the collar and started pulling. He told me to stop because I was choking him, and the only thought that ran through my head was ''good''. A teacher had to come pull me off him. There's other things but that one stands out to me because I was so young. Of course, that was not OCD related, but it was still horrible. Sorry for the long text...
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    @Griz Working out was amazing. I did 3 months straight and looked better than ever, I think I'll try start up again.
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    The gf and I have started eating better lately as well. My job is physical so I'm sort of "in shape" but not really. I want to run again as I enjoyed it. I do want to get back in the gym as well cause I absolutely loved lifting weights when I was doing it regularly. I had a before and after 6 months pics before and it was crazy the change. I'll have to do that again to hopefully motivate myself
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    Hi Im sorry that you are going through this . Im sure you wont act on your urges. Ive never heard of person with OCD to act on them. I can tell you that your mind is just playing tricks on you, because I suffer from OCD too. I suffered a lot when I was in highschool and I was scared that I will hurt my family so I know that OCD is awful. I was suicidal for many times, because of it. But you are not alone. Just take a deep breath and try to distract yourself with something. You can try to stay with your nephew and I know you will feel anxiety first, but later you will feel better. and Im sure that you wiil not act on these thoughts. Take care
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    Hey everyone, I know it says I have 20 posts, and I have browsed this place for a little while, but I still wanted to introduce myself. I will try and branch out to other forums, but I usually stay in the same forum I began in. Anyways, so far I have enjoyed this place and hope to continue being here for a long while.