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  1. 3 points
    @MrsA I hope even just writing down your problem helps even a little bit. You can’t help the way you feel and should not feel ashamed. My question is if he can make you orgasm then isn’t his penis good enough? Unless it’s orgasm without penetration. The fact he is willing to use toys and extenders shows how much he loves you and wants you to be happy I think. At the end of the day you should always choose what makes you happy. That’s my policy. It’s a lot easier said than done though.
  2. 2 points
    TooOld4This

    Hello--need some advice

    I can make another recommendation, Bella, from my own experience: take your son to a stylist, preferably a female one. I know you're fundamentally a good mother, Bella; a bad one wouldn't bother to ask for help. One of the main causes of my emotional stagnation when i was his age was, i didn't know how to look normal. Many teenagers are self-conscious about their appearance (or even ashamed of it; i know i was). This causes them to withdraw and not interact with peers. I think it also draws negative responses from peers, too. Other young people sense their self-consciousness and they read it as either weakness or hostility. I'm sick of adults who say, "just have confidence, and people will like you." Pure myth and nonsense. Confidence can't be manufactured out of nothing. If you get him a few sessions with a professional stylist who can guide him into dressing and grooming himself in a way that's appropriate for him, then he'll know that he looks normal. Dancing lessons or tennis lessons wouldn't hurt, either. Your son needs to have a REASON to be confident; then the confidence (and the social life) will follow.
  3. 2 points
    re you sure is purely physicall or do you think it has a part of symbolism. Big penis have more flesh but also have "a psychological meaning". You kind of suggest it talking about early exposure to porn. How could that modify your physical ideal or minimum size? But maybe generated a fascination or desire for big penises that affects your arousal and excitation. I also say this because if it was just physical size what would be the problem with the extender, or what would be the problem if you are having orgasms. Or why would his flaccid matter... I don't know, but it seems there is more than flesh in and out in all this. You have to realize that, and therefore if it's possible you stay together. Otherwise don't make him go through all this.
  4. 2 points
    smallstar

    My announcement

    ...
  5. 2 points
    Hope everyone is doing as well as possible. Seems like a lot of us are struggling w various issues & situations. For me I have realized that there is no silver bullet, no magic pill, no philosophy that I can follow that makes things better. My only hope is to do my best and hope for the best. The better I take care of myself the more energy I will have and the inclined I will be to take action. It's just that simple. I need to put aside things that accomplish nothing: worry, regret, fear, and so on. I am only going to do what I am going to do, I am not going to do what I am not going to do and what's going to happpen is what's going to happen.
  6. 2 points
    It's a job of the forum moderators. Lodz's idea was very good and I'm sorry I hadn't done it sooner ... I'd been worried about all the possible impacts your problem would have on those suffering from lack of confidence (and worse) due to their size, but it''s been hard to imagine how to prevent it. At the same time, I think that if they understand you well, they shouldn't feel "more bad", because you want to make the relationship work and thus prove once again to them that they, too, may have a satisfying marriage, but the problem is many of them will/would interpret it all (which is not your fault, of course!) just they way their "obsession" and/or their bad experiences make them interpret almost everything concerning their size: As yet another "proof" they are not "good enough" . That said, I still think it's good that you searched for a place where you could communicate your feelings, dilemmas, and worries. As you said, it's better to 'vent' and analyse the issue (at a safe place like an online forum) than to keep it all to yourself and feel overwhelmed by your emotions. To your problem, I would say that it's not particularly different from what probably most/all people experience in relationships, including marriage: Nobody is "perfect", so there are always things we have to learn to accept / like / tolerate. To many/some of us, considering 'the size' of your husband "a flaw" sounds absurd and incredible, but then I can imagine you'd consider absurd some "complaints" of others about their partners. I would recommend, for instance, some videos or articles of The school/book of life, like: https://youtu.be/jltM5qYn25w https://youtu.be/pICXY_6p45o https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/
  7. 1 point
    Lodz

    Addicted to SPH

    I've talked about this some here, but only opened up to a couple of you guys about my problem with compulsively seeking out small penis humiliation (sph). I have had fantasies about it since I was in high school, when i realized how small i was. But of course, i was too scared to even pursue normal sex and dating, let alone sph. I dated and got a girlfriend in college, but became so obsessed with penis size that i started seeking out well endowed men for discreet sexual encounters. Mainly i wanted to focus on them and their pleasure, and just be in proximity to that type of masculine sexual prowess. But they always wanted to see me naked, and tended to be turned on sometimes despite my size and sometimes because of it. I started seeking out the ones who preferred a small dicked partner. Some of them were rather abusive verbally, and this turned me on, but also scared and hurt me. It became so the arousal and the fear and hirt were linked, and that is still with me to this day. What changed is that it stopped hurting and scaring me when men did it. But that didn't make me stop. It made me seek out darker more extreme situations. And eventually i also sought out women for sph as well. I continued to see men as well, because i could get that hit without fear. With women it was a much more serious thing. When they said i was too small, it meant something. I did it for the sexual hit, and for the arousal and amusement my partners, but also to face a fear, to prove something to myself. Eventually, I tried cuckolding, and ended up in a two year relationship with a woman who had very compatible sexual interests. She indulged my sph daily, and we had other men join in fairly often. I was convinced that this behavior was helping me cope with my size insecurities. I found that during this part of my life, i was not acutely worried about my size, as i had previously been. Yeah, there were mkments when i was reminded how society views men my size, but i was able to brush it off. I had found a niche, where my size was actually an asset. But that relationship came to an end, because i was out of control. I was on a sex rampage (recklessly promiscuous anonymous hookups with men and near constantly seeking hookups online), and even my nympho girlfriend couldn't tolerate it. The last straw was when she looked through my phone and saw i was messaging with other women, lying about my relationship status. After she left me, i went on an enormous rampage. Prostitutes, orgies, you name it. Nothing was enough. I needed constant arousal to distract me from my pathetic reality. Finally i caught an std (a curable one) and got into therapy and sex addiction recovery. Since then, i have had many relapses, but nothing that extreme. I've dabbled in porn and online intrigue more than a 'normal' peraon would. I've cheated on my wife as recently as 2.5 years ago. And i've enjoyed had many extended periods of sexual sobriety. But the thing that makes sobriety hardest is knowing my dick is small, and there's nothing i can do about it. I was using a bathmate pump and phallosan stretcher, but stopped seeing results so i stopped and it went back down to its old, even smaller, size. On top of that, it turtles inside me worse than ever. This is depressing for me. I'm now back under 4" hard in both length and girth, and afraid that if i start pumping again, i'll just be worsening the long term size of my penis, both flaccid and erect. I think if i hadn't had this 4 month relapse, i would have kept pumping and i wouldn't be so small again. This relapse consisted of engaging in various forms of humiliating conversations with others online about my size. When i'm doing that, i don't feel like i need to be bigger. But when i stopped (and i always have to stop or i'll fly off the deep end and catch aids or make my wife leave me), i am left empty, feeling extra small and ashamed. I don't know what to do. But today I am safe. I am sober. I am healthy. I have a loving wife and two amazing kids. I just have a hard time seeing past my insecurities, my penis and the illusions of my fantasies.
  8. 1 point
    I don't think that he would want to be with you if he knew that you felt this way (and imo it's unfair for him to not know), so I think you're just incompatible; you disliking his dick is as unattractive to him as his dick is to you. I can guarantee you that, and I don't think any man should be in such a relationship. There's a sort of betrayal in not letting your partner know you're not physically attracted to them. It's not fair to either party. Not attacking you, just being honest. If both of your true feelings were bare on the table I don't think it would work, and it's disgusting to me that so many men are in relationships with women who secretly don't appreciate their genitals. Men want that appreciation as much as you want sexual satisfaction, and even if he's not aware that he isn't getting it I believe there is something just fundamentally fucked up about relationships like yours. He's also being denied something, not just you. Imagine finding out that he secretly doesn't like big girls and hates your figure, wishes you looked like an ex. Would you want to erase your memory and go back to the illusion of self-esteem, or move on and find self worth with a true and real foundation?
  9. 1 point
    Klingsor

    Job fears

    "I have my own theory about why the decline happens at companies like IBM or Microsoft. The company does a great job, innovates and becomes a monopoly or close to it in some field, and then the quality of the product becomes less important. The company starts valuing the great salesmen, because they're the ones who can move the needle on revenues, not the product engineers and designers. So the salespeople end up running the company." - Steve Jobs, 1995 Love him or hate him, this is exactly why Jobs earned his place as a visionary. This is so true. And it's exactly what makes working in modern corporate structures so hellish. Sycophantic middle managers and palm greasing, smooth talking sociopathic salespeople run everything. It's all a massive social network that has nothing to do with race, gender, nationality...the successful ones are as flexible as snakes - morally, intellectually, and ideologically.
  10. 1 point
    Broken Bella

    Hello--need some advice

    I have tried to get him into activities and he has done a few. I signed him up for the gym because he asked if he could go. He does this a couple times a week. I have spoke about how it should be around the house and 99% of the time it is fine. Im thinking once he starts college he will be doing better. Thanks for replying..
  11. 1 point
    Self reported (that normally end in greater numbres) BP studiy at thundersplace, a penis enlargement website, with thousands of people showed a bell shape graphic with 5.8 - 6 as average. So I think average it won't be over 6" BP in any case. About what people says... because old Kingsley study 6" it's the "popular average" so any guy under 6" will say is 6" in public.
  12. 1 point
    No, all the scientific studies show 5-5.5" long. However, the more active guys many girls are "use to" might be the size you mention.
  13. 1 point
    jazz

    My announcement

    Hiya smallstar - sorry you have got so many struggles. I know somewhere you said that there weren't many comments on addictions here, noticed another forum that may be some support as well - hope you don't think I'm saying go to another place, I am not You may have seen it already? https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/
  14. 1 point
    jazz

    My so called life

    Sounds a very painful situation, small. Try not to isolate yourself from people who care, this is when you need support even if you are bothered about worrying them. Sorry you are grieving I hope you can find some love for yourself in amongst all the unhappiness, I think that is one difference between doing something drastic and not. The mind can trick us into thinking everything is our fault when it is not, it's the misery prism.
  15. 1 point
    My advice (and like all advice, easier said than done) would be to focus on improving your health, stick to a diet and exercise regimen strictly for the improved health, and not focus so much on how it affects your penis. It could be 25 lbs before your dick looks different anyways. But being in shape improves how your mind and emotions work, and that is where the root of your problem is in the first place.
  16. 1 point
    Think the first step for me is trying to affirm it to myself and make myself believe that it's what I need to do and that it'll help my size, making myself believe that is the hard part
  17. 1 point
    Well I am one of those guys, and suicide has never seemed like a realistic option for me. So I'm grateful for that. But you know what you need to do. It's easier said than done. So you need encouragement and motivation. There are plenty of resources and programs for that.
  18. 1 point
    I don't really see how any kind of help can rectify the issue, you like a big penis, he has a small penis, talking about the problem won't fix that and that's just how it is No need to feel guilty about it, people like what they like, but you need to understand that the average size is something like 5.6x4.8, and in refusing to go around the average length you're limiting yourself severely in terms of possible partners because of the size of their penis, on the other hand, you like what you like and there's nothing wrong with that, it's up to you if you feel the compromise is worth it and from what I've read here I don't believe you think it's worth it Whatever you decide don't feel guilty about it
  19. 1 point
    Klingsor

    My so called life

    I'm miserable too.
  20. 1 point
    Thank you for your answers and explanations! I know my post didn't sound particularly pleasant , but I wanted to point at some things that came to my mind (to make you think about the issues from a different point of view) as well as get a better picture of your situation. I can see several very positive things about you! Let's have a look at them: First of all, kudos for being able not to drink too much and too often! Alcohol is a too accessible "self-medication" tempting to probably most suffering people without an actual help available - it's great you've been quite successful to resist it. Also, your understanding and non-resentful attitude to your mom sounds very mature! As you perhaps know, it's an important part of growing-up to see more objectively our upbringing and to loose all hateful blame we might have for our parents (if they haven't done anything 'monstrous', of course). At the same time, I should probably mention that in psychotherapy, it's often part of the healing to revisit all the 'wrongs' that parents caused us and even to re-connect with some negative emotions (in order to later being able to 'let them go (hopefully) for good'). No need to explain why I see this positively . However, I still wish you very much to find also some other sources of happiness (which, of course, doesn't imply loosing this one). Searching for them, knowing yourself better and learning to accept yourself and get rid of the feeling of guilt and self-hate, would probably be key. That's also why the next very positive information is so important: You've already reached out, not only by writing here, but also by talking to your doctor! It's perfectly OK not to mention "everything" at the beginning (it can even take months of therapy to become able to talk about some issues!) - it would be impossible not only for you or "some people", but for literally everyone! We're all too complicated to be explained in a single conversation, no matter how long, and mental problems (and their causes and ramifications) are most often as complicated, confusing, and puzzling as you've described it. It reminds me of this excerpt (the first ~50 seconds) of a TV series which also reminds me of the beginning of my own therapy (my therapist answered to my worries about "not knowing what is relevant, where to start when there are too many things etc." in a very similar way ) : https://youtu.be/BDlBjJkRscg I get the point and according to some experiences of some other people, I know that this is often / sometimes (?) a case when one isn't "mentally prepared" to loose weight - the change doesn't help if some other change hasn't happened yet. And it's probable that this other change wouldn't happen without some professional help... I wish you the best of luck for the appointment as well as the whole process of therapy!
  21. 1 point
    jazz

    My so called life

    What's up? As 'misery needs company', I'm the company tonight 😉
  22. 1 point
    Klingsor

    Beer

    Small star there is no one living who is not selfish with their feelings. People may be selfless in act and possessions but no one wants to constantly all the time feel like shit...depressed, inferior, hopeless, lonely... whatever. Libraries are overflowing with self help literature on precisely that - making us feel good about ourselves. That's not selfish it's self preservation and sanity. I don't do narcotics but am so mired in fantasy and pornography that its become habitual.
  23. 1 point
    Joboo

    True feelings about my tiny dick

    I also felt deprived being 6'4" and good looking and had a 5.5 x 5.2 penis. After years I think maybe it was a blessing. I had sex with 70-80 different women by 23. If I would have had a big penis my life would have probably been way different. I probably wouldn't have married, I would have just been a slut, which I was but a more confident slut. It's really not the most important thing and hey, you don't have a micro penis. Just an average dick.
  24. 1 point
    Obsolete

    Hard Talk

    Your posts don't make me feel worse. You express far more eloquently than I ever could what life has been like for me. I've had a good week actually. Instead of trying to come across as cool and alpha, I chose to be the weirdo creeper aka nice-guy that I am and I've felt alright all week. Feels good not trying to impress. I'm not alpha and I don't care to be anymore. Perhaps it's just the loser in me talking but women and relationships just don't seem worth it any longer. Besides I really cannot stand people these days. Like Vic said, they're just about ready to be offended by anything you say. But they have absolutely no problem offending and shaming you, especially if you're a man.
  25. 1 point
    IrmaJean

    Hard Talk

    It's true that we can't change or control how others view or feel about us. I could personally accept that others felt a certain way about me, but in accepting that, it wouldn't then necessarily mean I agreed with their position and would then live by it. Is there ever a part of you that wants to say, #&$# what some people in society think, society doesn't make me me? For me personally, no human could ever be sub-human because of a body part. Just offering a different perspective. It's possible I can't ever completely understand, as much as I want to. I want all of you to feel peace and do what works best for you.
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