Leaderboard

I have OCD, and right now I'm having extreme intrusive thoughts about little kids. Thoughts about raping or touching little kids. And I'm getting a little groinal response. This is what is happening specifically: I automatically, without even thinking, say to myself "I wonder if I'll get aroused if so and so happens to a little kid". Then I imagine something happening to a little kid. Then I feel immense guilt and shame. My next CBT session is on July 15. How can I make things easy until then? Any help is appreciated. EDIT: I posted a question like this on Experienceproject, and everyone is telling me to turn myself into the cops. This is the worst day I've had all week.

Hello all. I am 48 with 4 children 18,16,14. and the Youngest at 5 I am married. My question I hope someone can answer is a delicate one and I hope that some helpful advice may help me to understand how to deal with the problem and how to cope. We are at the end of the line with this one. My 16 year old boy has some sort of attraction to being a baby he's been buying nappies and bottles and has some bibs too. Some of these used to be his younger brothers I recognise them. He has never openly told me or his mother his desires or discussed it with us. I noticed a problem about 1 year ago I found torn plastic pants in the bin I asked about this to all and it was denied. So I left it at that because I didn't know where they came from. Next thing I noticed was about a month ago a delivery docket for adult nappies to this address. I discussed it with my wife and we didn't say anything at the time I hoped that who ever it was would come and approach us. The latest development last week my (16 year) old son Ryan (not actual name) had a moment of insanity the only way I can describe it. My wife myself and 14, and 5 year old went out for the day as promised for fun movie and shopping except we arrived home half way through the 14 year old took sick. As we arrived home my youngest child went on ahead while we carried bags shopping and checked on 14 year old I couldn't believe my ears when the youngest came out again and asked why Ryan was in a highchair being fed and dressed like a baby? I was livid I didn't know what to say or do. My wife has more level head went ahead of me to try and figure out the situation. It was true 18 year old was feeding Ryan baby food in highchair or had been up to our arrival. I have never raised a hand to my Children and love them dearly. I didn't know what to do in this situation I didn't want go in myself. I was frightened that I may over react or completely lose it. It really threw me. I finally come in and seen it for myself. My wife was trying to calm Ryan down he was crying and kept saying he didn't want us to see him like this that he was gonna tell us but couldn't pick his moment. His older brother had told him to tell us and try to explain to us his feelings and desires. He found out one day when he walked in on Ryan dressed as a baby in his bedroom. Ryan hadn't heard him come in apparently this was approx 1 month ago. Ryan had calmed down after about 20 minutes. My wife kept a cool head probably better than I would have done. She then asked him why he told her it had been going for quite a while but he didn't know how to tell us. he couldn't explain why he wanted to act out at being a baby but knew he wanted to. After chatting to older brother he ordered some items and Ryan paid him for them. The delivery docket was a hint from the older Son for Ryan to come clean. He didn't want to tell us it was Ryan's place to do that. I calmed down also about 45 minutes later and listened while my wife chatted to Ryan although it look very surreal my 16 year old Ryan sitting in a highchair his face and bib all messy.I asked then has he anything to say about it Ryan then asked since this was now out in the open could he be more open and have some of his meals as a baby? My Wife said we will have to discuss this further. He said that this has nothing to do with real babies or children but something he likes and also said he doesn't feel that it's harming anyone. What do I do will he grow out of this? Is it something that can be cured? Is it something I should let him experiment with or what? Your thoughts and help would be greatly appreciated on this I am all out of ideas. Thanks in advance RG01

Whats up guys I felt inspired and decided to write this thinking it may help lift the spirit of some of you. This is coming from a guy who was disregarded and ridiculed as a kid by his own mom because of the size of his genitals, this eventually destroy his personality and self-esteem but is now trying to reconstruct his life and give happiness another chance What if SPS is a more of a mental condition than it is physical? would it help to work on the mental aspect of it than beat ourselves over what we cannot change(physical)? what if we decided to work on becoming more confident individuals? what if we try to become stronger persons rather than whiners? what if we focus more on the positive aspects of our lives rather than the negatives? what if we realize that we are much bigger than such a small part of our body? what if we decide not let what others think affect us? What if we only give importance to what we think about ourselves? what if we start thinking more positive about ourselves? what if we start learning to love ourselves and put this self-love as a priority in life instead of expecting love and acceptance from others? What if we were sent to earth to fight a great battle and become strong warriors? I mean wouldn't we be the toughest individuals out there if we learn to put up with the amount of crap we have put up with? what if we are angels on a mission to destroy and debunk the damaging porn industry(except at amateur level)? what if we give ourselves a chance to look for happiness from within rather than the outside? What if we start to disregard people who are superficial and understand that they are not better than us? what if we start looking for smarter people who look beyond the outside and judge on your character and personality?what if decide to help others instead of beating ourselves? what if we work on our own happiness and make it priority? what if we present ourselves as confident and happy individuals? would it make a difference? What if we decided to get up from our defeats and get stronger? What if we give all this possibilities a chance? after all are we not the only ones responsible for our own happiness? because if we keep expecting happiness from others it will simply never come. After all what is better happiness or sadness? self loathing or self-loving? And one last thing are we the size of our genitals or the size our attitudes, heart, mind and spirit?

I have said this a few times- maybe guys of my small size should not be here as its not a mental issue for me- its a physical one. on the other hand maybe the solutions SPS sufferers use could help me too. dunno.

Good point. I've wondered before in a thread if the actually small guys even have SPS. I mean, we DO have a small one, not just a mental problem. Maybe you need an average or larger to suffer from SPS. After all, you're not a hypochondriac if you really ARE sick. I don't see how you can have sps if you really ARE small. or maybe I'm wrong....it's happened before.

Is there such a definition? I'm starting to think it was happened to me, a handful of years ago when I was about 12y/o. The other person had authority over me and was 35y/o. There was no direct touching. But I still hate what he did. Again there was no touching, no violence, lot's of absolute fear, Could this be sexual abuse?