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Thank you both for the kind words. This means a lot to me. You're welcome. I'm glad I can be here to support you. I wish everyone well.

I just want to issue a warning to young guys - get help or figure out how to deal with this curse while you can because it will destroy you in some form or another. It doesn't matter if it's psychological sps or genuine small penis, figure it out.

My sexuality has always been defined by a strong element of voyuerism combined with an unhealthy generalized obsession with sex. I was raised in a very insulated, conservative environment and didn't have access to anything to feed these obsessions except my own thoughts and mainstream sources of soft core sexual stimuli (tv, magazines, school). I never dated or had a sex life until I was about 24 or 25 because of a lack of confidence, at which point I dated 3 women in fairly quick succession, all ending in disaster. When I dated these women my self esteem was so low that sex with them seemed dirty or unnatural, and I hated them for submitting to me because I viewed it as an admission of desperation on their parts. So I would avoid sex with them and instead revert to porn or more often subconsciously drive them toward other men for sexual fulfillment and then masturbate on that fantasy. Although I never pursued an active cuckold lifestyle, that element was certainly there. I have severe body dysmorphia and it basically makes me find intimacy with other people revolting, the only thing that gets me off sexually is being in the role of a spectator since my participation seems unnatural. But it has to be covert, I could never overtly submit to such humiliation. One way I thought too describe PIED is that visual stimulation has become so strong as to overpower any other kind, to the point that tactile or olfactory sensations are blunted and somewhat suffocating. Basically I could sit in a room with an attractive woman and imagine (picture) myself having sex and be able to get off while actual participation would result in ED. That's the best way I can describe it.

I get it now, don't know what the hell I was thinking but I can see how this could be a problem. Especially in this day and age. No more finding an porn magazine in a bush, it's hardcore porn available the second you find your cock and learn to spell porn.

Sorry you are struggling with the self harming urge passionfruit. Just wanted to say it's a beautiful idea to write a book on kindness, we certainly need more of that in the world.

I really don't have anything substantial to add to the sub. Just want to say that you guys should take care of yourselves. You all seem like great people. Non of you deserve to be here. I want to give IrmaJean a special mention as I've never really seen a post of hers on any of the topics about her own struggles(perhaps I need to read other topics more?), yet she's always there to assist us. Irma, if your reading this, thank you for your support. Be good guys.?.

IrmaJean is the best. She's had many struggles but always has time to say something kind to somebody else when they are down. A selfless person and a great friend. I second that, nobody deserves these things. I hope some of the older members are ok who never visit anymore.

Hi Yahweh, There's stuff online you can read that explains it better than I do. Just google it. Here are some quick links though that I like: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2015/02/27/porn-cause-erectile-dysfunction/ http://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/health/are-you-watching-too-much-porn-20130821 Some members swear up and down it isn't real because they've never experienced it or masturbated up to 15 times a day because of compulsive masturbation, but I'm sure they know best. There was another member here who experienced it as well named Skynight, you could probably search his old posts for more anecdotal stuff. To be fair, I have a host of other neuroses that together create a perfect storm, which I won't rehash. Some of my older posts under the name Klingsor are still here and you can search those if desired. I'm probably a limiting case, an asymptote. It's unlikely most guys would make it to the same point I did simply because it's unlikely that they have as many comorbid influences. Regarding porn, if you let it take control it can become an addiction as bad or worse than any narcotic. Especially if you are unable to be intimate with real people. However, some argue that it provides an acceptable outlet for sexual frustration for introverts and losers like me who can't get the real thing. Nevertheless, I was masturbating to fantasies and summer clothing magazines long before I had access to porn, so I doubt it makes any difference in that sense, and this is why I often say it's a force for the worse.

Yahweh, I was prescribed cialis once when I was seeing my third and final girlfriend, and it really didn't help all that much that I could tell. It gave me a headache. She was a hateful bitch and intentionally made me feel worse, but I already had porn induced erectile dysfunction (pied). There was another member here and he and I used to get tangled up often, but he was the only one who I think fully understood the reality and complications of pied. It would be incredibly easy if it were simply mechanical, but psychological ED is much more difficult to solve because you have to change your mindset and find some degree of confidence, of which I have zero in any aspect of my life. Medicine alone won't solve it. You have to feel like a man at some level to perform, and I don't, which is why I have such an attraction to something as perverse as cuckoldry. RE: lily Allen - That ignorant whore and her legions of rabid third wave feminist sisters can rot in hell. Isn't it amazing the number of intellectual gymnastics they will perform to prove gender is a "sociological construct" and "non-binary", yet will ALWAYS insult a man's penis when he doesn't toe the feminist line. I've been wanting to get that off my chest.