I just read the article. Sorry I'm a little late in the conversation. I actually felt myself nodding along at the points this author was making. I think there's a few things important in a therapeutic relatiionship. First is finding one that you feel safe with and can comfortably form a relationship with. This doesn't happen automatically but can take several sessions or months of sessions. Or possibly moving on to another if this doesn't happen. It's like any other relationship in our lives....sometimes people click and sometimes they don't. The next thing is meeting the client where they are at. In my experience, I may be a trained professional but my client is the professional of their life. They are the ones who lived the experiences that brought them into therapy and I am genuinely honored for each person who has the strength and courage to take the risk/leap of faith it takes to share that with me. What this means to me is being active and attentive in the process. I.E....some people need a gentle listening ear, some people need support and encouragement, some people need some deep processing, some people need a kick in the butt, some people need a combination of all of these and maybe other things that I haven't listed. As far as anger goes....I welcome it. If I said something that angers a client...I want to hear about it. I believe it possibly a very good jumping off point for some powerful processing. Anger is a strong emotion. Many people (even therapists) are intimidated or afraid of it. I think behind anger is truth and healing and it needs to be heard and addressed. If it's because of something I said or I pushed too hard. I will own that and apologize but I will always honor and support the client's expression of it. I think what gets some therapists in trouble is when countertransference comes into play. There needs to be some level of transference in any relationship for it to be successful, even a therapeutic one, but if the therapist ends up triggered by the anger, the outcome may not be a good one. I like what Finding posted earlier as well. You often do need to match the level of intensity.