cindyhelen

I'm going through the same Only difference is that I do not feel hungry, but I'm in obesity since I was seven. It's hard to see one chance of a better life to me, always. But I don't wanna give up, I will fight for a surgery. I hope I'll get. Do you ever read something about "obesity surgeries" ? Sorry for my english, I'm not american. I hope you feel better!

Does anyone here have this same thing? I tried to find a phrase that summed up everything, so I found this: I can not sleep and can not wake up. My mom says I do not sleep because I'm on the computer. But this is not the point. I get on the computer because I have no desire to sleep. I almost always stay up until dawn. Without eating anything. But most times I stay up until dawn, and still lie awake until dawn the next day. And do not feel sleepy. Sometimes I get 29 hours without sleep, and still unwilling. But for some reason I lie down, I sleep for 18, 19, 24 hours. And when I wake up, I'm still tired as if I had never slept. But do not feel hungry. I do not ever feel hungry, I eat once a day, in the late afternoon. And it's always something like a sandwich. It satisfies me for the whole day. Maybe even two days. I know this is not normal. And even with my obesity, I know this might make me weak. But I don't feel hungry, I can not push the food into me. What is this?

I'm going through something like that :C. I'm here to talk. Kisses.

Since the first week of school, with my six years old, I lived in fear of the people. The school was a terrible phase and still is. I stay quiet while my coleagues robbed me, beat me, offended me. Every day was like that. Always stand it firm, but in the fourth year of school, I started to not go to class, and when I was there, I was standing at the door afraid to enter the room. So I fled from school once, and did most confusion. As I already said in another topic, I have not finished school, out of fear. I'm so ashamed and afraid of people, that if I'm in a public place and my hair standing in front of my face, even if it's bothering me I do not move, because I think they will laugh at me if I move. (I know it will not, but even so I think it will, and I can not move). It's the same way when I walk super fast and because of that several times I fall on stairs in the middle of the street. I've spent a lot of shame for lack of attention. And more and more ashamed. Starve at home for not having to go on the market sometimes. This month I'm going back to dealing with my psychologist, but I wanted to hear from you. Have you ever experienced this? Have you ever lived with this shame? How do you do to live with this fear, and the shame of being, acting? Honestly, I'm not even going in the courtyard of the house for fear of the neighbors seeing me. It hurts, I wish I could go back in time and have never gone to school. My family does not understand, says that's bullshit. Says it's laziness.

Yeah, it's all about I think. I've telling her that I don't need to accept her behavior, and her don't have to change for me, but if she wants me in her life she needs to care about me as much I care about her. I don't want more fake friendships in my life, she knows that. I like friends for life.

I had conversations like this with her, but she just looks cool for two days and then back to cold. She says I have to like her the way she is, but at the same time she wants me to change my ways. Not fair, you know? I suffered a lot with friends, I thought it would be different with her but it looks like it will be just another stranger to collection :c I want to get away from it all, just feel at peace away from her. But if I do that I'll hurt her. I do not know why I even care if I hurt her 'cause she hurt me several times, but I'm so stupid. I do not know if I should think only about me, or if I should be a good friend and not give it up.

I hope so, thanks for answer me.

I have a friend who is everything to me. But she was never affectionate like me, she was always cold. We had several fights, but the later were two months without conversation. For me, we never would talk but she called me. She apologized for everything, said she misses me. My heart tells me to give her another chance, but I'm afraid to disappoint me again. I have no mood to call her by a nickname, or other things. This would be the twenty chance that I give to her. Help me, what do I do?

Hey anouarpac! I'm new here too.

Shadow, Being myself is something I do. But it seems that deep down I do not like my way, and every friend I care, I try to change to please them. I'm not proud, I went back several times already when a friend of mine replaced and then everything remained the same. So I'm a coward with friends .. Hard not to talk about the past. But as you said, the answers should be in the present. I just need to take the tracks eyes and stop running from the truth. I'm a coward, and I am the typical human who does not know what suffering is. I agree, of course there are much bigger problems than mine. And maybe I create "paranoia" around them. Be all a figment of my mind coward. I do not know what suffering means, but do not know how I call this feelings. Really, dying seems like a great output. Because I do not have any fear of what comes then, in fact, I am very curious. As said, dying is inevitable and one day will happen. But it would be so much better if we could choose when and how. Is not it? And we can. That's what the "voices" tell me, inside my head all the time. I'm basically a larva which has no more life. I do not live, I just breathe. And even with so much dream to accomplish, there don't seem good reasons to chase. Dying seems easier. But when I think about this, I feel too selfish. After all, even with the family of shit I have, it's not just my "suffering". And I would not want to die blaming me. The outside world scares me even, but if I want to live I have to learn to face it. I like the way creative and direct you wrote . You say what I need to know. I do not fight against my demons, because an hour they are all I have. My boat floats in the dark, I don't know where he is going. Cut the family with an ax, it reminded me of The Shining. Thanks for your help, very much. It may seem that I do not want to help me but even why I'm here. Even though I did not know to express myself, my conscious 're reminding me of the things you said all the time. And it will help me support to "fly the nest without breaking the damn guy on the ground and being eaten by ants". Until life **** me again. Lala, I'll work more on it, to express myself. Not that I speak for itself, just to learn to speak what I feel. Thank you, yes I will seek psychological help.

Hi Sedsed, I also think that we should find a balance for everything. But it is not always that we have control over things. I have been trying hard enough to have control over it, but always has that damn part of me that blind. I would like to see a positive side in that I'm going through now. So I sought help, I can not think alone. Thanks a lot for the answers, everyone

Hi Shadow Self. I really have no fear of death. Never had. I know that I need to help myself, and try it all the time. But I think there are things that have no way to find out, overcome alone. And it makes me sad, because I always think so self sufficient. I do not know what I'd expect after you die, do not believe in God or Devil. So go to hell is disposed of my list of fears. But sometimes it seems like the only hope I have is what awaits me later. I have hope I sleep forever. After all, no one knows how things are after you die. I try to put things together in the past to try to understand the present. But it never helps, because I can not assemble it. And it makes me worse.

Hello Lala. Yes, sometimes I think the only way out is death, but something tells me "Suicide is not the solution" But I do not always listen to.. I've often wondered about this in recent months. I know that I am able to accomplish them, but I always think about all the bad that can happen, or if I can regret. And then I quit. It is very hard to fight against this negative part of me. It prevails always, or almost always. I have many dreams but sometimes change my mind but for the most part. Dreams like working on something that I enjoy, like Psychology or Forensic Science, have a car ( I'm in love with cars ), anyway .. Having a home, I don't dream or deserve something very large or handsome, but something of mine. Able to travel, meet elsewhere . But all this alone. My family thinks I'm weird, I'm kind of invisible here. And I think that's great because I love solitude. I've always been like that since little. Never had friends, they always walked away from me. And it seems they still do it. I'm weird anyway, because I like to be alone, but not like feeling alone . I stopped going to school, but not finished. I'm still in elementary school. There are still four years to complete . I can not go to school, and gives me some pain whenever I talk about this because I suffered so much in school. Bullying all the time, every day. They had hit me, anytime. In 2011, I consulted a psychologist, she helped me a lot. In three months I've got back to school. But there was always a problem. I was afraid to leave the house, then had a lot of anxiety and it made me vomit when I went to school. Whenever everything seemed fine, a problem replacing the other. It's sad, and it hurts too much not to know what problem I am facing now . Hence the title, I am suffering and I do not know why. Sometimes it gives me a force of will, a huge hyperactivit . And could cross the walls with excitement. But a moment later, I think something can screw it, and now I'm angry. Rage sad. And sad to be angry. I lost friends, especially a friend who I care so much. She got tired of the way I am, found another friend and left me. I've been there so many times that now I do not know if I want friends. They always betray me, hurt me. I can get psychological help, and I'm trying very hard to achieve go there. But I will not know how to answer what she asks me because I'm not someone very communicative. I do not know to express myself. I'm afraid to make me want to cry, I am ashamed . I would answer : Fear . Fear of failure has even been a failure. Fear of making mistakes myself have been a mistake. Fear of suffering the same since suffering. Thanks for helping me, I searched a lot for a forum in which to find people in the same situation as me. Thank you, good to have the support of someone who does not judge me . Thank you.