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rachel

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rachel last won the day on April 13 2014

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  1. My "friend" (I don't know if I can call him like that) is trying to hurt me. We have a friend in common, she is the person that I love the most in my life, and he knows that. He is encouraging her to get a boyfriend in front of me and tells me he likes her. he does not like her but speaks these things to annoy me. I do not trust him anymore, I'm so sorry about that. I do not know what else to do. I do not know if I should talk to him and say everything I think, say that he is being a bad friend. But if I do this, he will tell her. And I do not want her to think that I care that much about it. I do not know if I should just go away and never talk to them. Can anyone help me?
  2. rachel

    PLEASE READ

    Yesterday, I let her go, but I don't know if I made the right thing. I only know that my heart is totally broken I had a beautiful dream with her last night, and when I woke up and saw that was just a dream, the pain I felt it's the most horrible thing I have ever felt in my life. I still am feeling this pain. I want to die, but can't do this. I'm such a fool. My life is gone with her. "maybe it would be best to let her go and focus on your needs?" And if she is all I need? I don't have anyone, she was the only one. I don't care for anything in this world, only her. What do I do now? I can't live with this pain (((((((((((
  3. rachel

    PLEASE READ

    Hi I came here to seek help for a problem that is plaguing me for two years. I love a girl (my best friend) two years ago, and she knows. But she does not feel the same for me, she loves me but only as a friend. I understand it, but I can not stand to live like this. I know I can not live If I see her dating someone. She is a lovely girl, and I know many boys want her. And it drives me crazy. I do not want to suffer anymore, it makes me sick. But if I "abandon" her, any idiot who approach her, she will end up creating links. What do I do?
  4. I would be so much thankful if someone help me. I have a friend that I like so much, I care about her, I think about her everytime and so many things remind me her.. I just wanna stay together with her, and make her the happiest girl in this world, but I can't tell her about my feelings, 'cause I know that her never going to love me like I do. I'm sad. I guess sometimes of it just be a big passion, but no, no way. I'm jealous about her, because I fighted so much hard to get her trust, and love. Sometimes I think how I'll survive if she date someone, love someone, and that someone don't be me. I would be capable to kill her, just for her never love someone. Is this true love? Or just a passion? Am I sick?
  5. Hey Lala3, thank you Yeah, I know, my parents did not deserve to have children. They were not created with love, and did not know how to raise children. My sister also masturbated, but they only bother to judge me and punishing me. They pretended they did not know what she was doing well. I was an odd child, no friends because I was always afraid of people. Over time I became tuned with reality. Now I'm more sociable, more. It never really established a love life at home with the family. There were always fights and more fights, my father is an asshole, and my mother a fool. I loved her too much and she only complained because of this, she said I was like a shadow and does not let her breathe. I grew up and realized it was not worth loving anyone. So I can not tell if I love my parents. Maybe I like them a little, maybe. But life is just like that, an hour it falls another rises. Thanks a lot for helping me to confirm that I'm not sick.
  6. Shadow, your thoughts made ​​me create daydreams for a long time. I can control myself, but deep down I do not want. I like doing it, is something I have to do, if I don't, I wish play Russian Roulette in the head of my relatives. Since childhood I wonder why I do it. But I keep doing because I like it. I wish it was not so ugly to look at society, because I see people rubbing on the street. And a person being home alone masturbating is wrong? I do not think so. I never wanted to have sex with my father. That sounds so weird. But yes, I hated hearing them having sex, but I masturbated that day. Several times. But I felt pressured by my head, that I was doing something wrong, and they were doing something wrong. So I decided to leave. Now it's easier for me, I can all the time if I want. Thanks a lot for the answer, so criative and clear to read.
  7. I love play piano, it's a thing who makes me so calm. That's a beautiful thing you know, you make music with your hands. I actually don't do nothing, just writing and draw. I'm getting ready to go to college, I will attend Law. I am ashamed to talk about these things with a person. Never said it to anyone. So, I guess I will not seek psychological help. It's hard to deal with it alone for eleven years, but I do what I can to not let me down. Just get confused sometimes, it seems like I could be someone better. And I could. But I like me just the way I am. Thanks for the answer
  8. I can, but I do not know if I'll have the courage to tell these things to a stranger face to face. It is difficult. I only have one friend, but never talked about it with him. Well as things I like to do in life? Hobbies, or jobs? Thanks for the answer
  9. My parents never educated me about sexuality. With six years I discovered porn when I was going through things of my father, and I found a magazine. From that day, every day I picked up the magazine, and was hidden looking. Somehow my father thought my cousin took the magazines, and hid. After a while, I started to masturbate. I did not know it was wrong, because only was six years old. My mother and my sister often caught me doing it, and my mother thought I was sick. She thought I had urinary tract infection. During the next four years, she took me to all kinds of doctors who had in the hospital plan. Never found anything. Because this was not what I had .. I continued to masturbate even more. Up lying next to my grandmother, watching cartoons on television. At school, in full gang first grade, I was there masturbating while my colleagues were making the duties. At twelve, I started watching porn on the internet, just read erotic stories. I had no experience with this, so do not put out the history and my mom found out. Went weeks without talking to me. Then I stopped. Even with all this, it could have taken my innocence, I played with dolls to fifteen years. My friends were dating and I at home changing diapers dolls cloth. My father hated it, much embarrassed me in front of my friends who put all my dolls in the trash. My parents divorced and I moved with my mother. Spend almost the whole day alone, and this has made my addiction back. I do not think it's something I need to do, but it is an outlet for my boredom. Instead of drawing, reading, I masturbate. I can not entertain the thought and go do else, if I do not masturbate when I feel like I'm angry all day. Currently, I'm 17 and I masturbate every day. At least three times per day. And I see a lot of pornography. A lot. I think on average about eight watch porn per night. I no longer feel guilty as before, because I think this is normal. But would like to know the opinion of you, if this is normal. I was not raped by my father, nor had any experience with sex unless pornography. So why was six years old I had this addiction? If I was an innocent child who had no knowledge about sex, nor knew as was a penis, why only have seen those magazines, developed this "sexual appetite" almost uncontrollable that lasted eleven? After my thirteen years old, I started to hate sex. But still watching. But keep hating. It is a sick and disgusting thing. And the only thing I can think of when I watch porn is: "I want these people to die". Ironic, because I masturbate seeing them .. I hate men, all of them. And boys in general. I'm sick of boys. Never even kissed a cheek. When I lived with my father, my room was next to him. And every night I could not sleep because they made too much noise when fucked (sorry by the word). Up an excuse and came to live with my mother. I was disgusted with my father, I hate him for that. I can not even look at his face over so disgusted. He does not know it .. What do you think ? I'm mentally sick? Or just retarded? I greatly appreciate for who answer, I'm very confused.
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