Horsewrek

In therapy I'm trying to bring the parts of myself together. T says I had to repress the different ages of myself due to trauma. I can't imagine or accept myself as a two-yr old, 6 year old, etc. When I drew a picture of myself at different ages all in one picture, I took it to therapy, but it's caused me to have really terrible anxiety, like a carrot-grater rubbing on my nerves. I can't stand to look at the pictures of me at 2 and 6, etc. Do any of you have this problem, and why do I feel such anxiety about it?

Thank you for your thoughts. I think it's all about driving her away. Maybe she will decide I'm a hopeless case because I still can't feel like I should. The defenses are still there. But I haven't been in therapy a whole year yet. I'm committed to it this time because no T has been able to reach my feelings before.

My T has been on vacation and I know what she expects of me on her return. I'm supposed to express my intense anger that she's been away so long. But this has me so anxious that I'm dreading the session. I deal with separation by omnipotent denial. It's like a pain drug for me. I can turn on the attitude of I couldn't care less. I feel safe not admitting anything. So my question is: Should I say I didn't miss her and be safe, or should I show the anger even tho anger is so hard to express?

Such a great essay, Tsunami!! I'm so shaken and sad my T left for vacation when she is the only one I ever could open up to. I went on-line some sympathy and found such a reassuring abundance of it here! I decided to join so I can read more.

My T went on a whole month vacation, so was surfing around for encouragement when I found this site and Tsunami's post about T's vacation. I like this site for it's down-to-earth comments by people in therapy like me. Hello to everyone.