Small

I hope you're keeping well too. You're in my thoughts & prayers.

Merry Christmas my dear friend.

It's 2 years tomorrow that we lost our friend Resolute. RIP We miss you.

@retr0john Are you in the mood talk about some of your sparring sessions? I recall you saying you have a stocky build & walked down some of the taller guys. I'd love to hear some of your stories!

@retr0john Slight elaboration on his boxing - When we first started he had a mean right hook, for some reason he was able to get his bodyweight behind it right off the bat and we have since developed it. At that stage he wasn't able to hold his stance even on the pads - and ended up standing square on and crossing his feet etc. Over the last year I have got him to work on his stance and technique a little. Once he got that down, I noticed that his straight improved considerably! He is actually a lefty so should be in southpaw - but he is more comfortable in the orthodox stance so we do it that way. His speed isn't the best - and he is still learning to be coordinated. I suppose the latter just comes with practice. He's just recently started to get comfortable with punches coming back at him without going into a shell. It isn't pleasant to take full on shots from him now his technique is better. They HURT! In our last sparring session I actually had to tell him to go easy on that.I just put up a guard, stand in range and roll with the punches best I can. I wouldn't mind stepping into a boxing ring again and sparring so long as it is light work. Anyway - enjoy your sunday.

@retr0john Got a bit of time to sit at the computer so thought I'd respond to this. Yeah I am an indoor cat if you ever saw one. I live in a medium sized flat/apartment and have done what I can to make it a comfortable little haven and spend most of my time in it. Have had to spend a little more money than I'd like on the TV, movie channels and a lot of the little things to make it feel cosy, but I guess it's worth it in the end. I had you down as a hands on man so I am not surprised at all. I actually am quite comfortable in the meetings but occasionally I lose my cool (internally) and it really pisses me off that I can't say what's on my mind at those times! I have to direct a small team and when it doesn't go right I am accountable - and it's hard to be firm when I have to dress everything with a ''please'' and ''thanks''. Ugh. I am not very good at boxing!!! The Christmas before lasy my nephew asked me for boxing equipment. He is a physical lad - enjoys the rough and tumble play and can get aggressive when he's frustrated. I had a chat with my brother and told him it's probably a good idea to have him box or wrestle - that way he get's to express himself physically and can learn a good craft. That's how we got started really. I got him some boxing stuff and figured I'd teach him the basics myself. I did box for a number of years and also did muay thai so I can teach basics. I don't think I'm schooled enough to teach at more experienced places. It's a workout for me too - holding the mitts properly gets me active. I would love for him to wrestle because he looks like he's built well for that - but his dad doesn't want him to commit to it since he already has other extra curricular activities (Kids these day huh?). When I was young it was basically school, cartoons, and playing outside! I'm glad you are getting your kids to familiarise themselves with firearms. Especially your daughter - she may not like it now but she'll be grateful for it in the long run. I have only fired a gun as a child and that was on my uncles farm in the country. I actually got to fire two of his guns - a pistol and a shotgun. Other than that I have neither seen nor used a firearm. Do you own your own firearm? Do you like going to the range for leisure too or is it just to learn and keep sharp? Last summer when I went on a lot of walks there were times that I wished I was armed. I'm not a big guy - on a couple of occasions I walked past some rough looking guys and had I been attacked things wouldn't have gone so well Good luck with making those pasties! I can tell you from first hand experience that they can be quite delicious. As a teen I went to a place here called Greggs (back then it was called Braggs) on the high street for their pasties and they were something. I hope you get to join the gym and get back into working out. Do they have boxing facilities? Have fun at the Range John! Thanks for the well wishes. Keep your chin up.

Hi @retr0john I'm glad I saw this post, i very nearly missed it. All things considered i am doing okay. I've had a lot of ups & downs recently but have mostly been focusing on work. I've managed to find myself in a position where i do most from home & only got to the office for meetings, and that suits me just fine. I just got home from my sister's house where i spent the afternoon with my niece. We hung out, talked, debated & she put some fish & chips in the oven. I've been teaching my nephew a little more boxing. He's 8 years old - not completely coordinated yet but he's a big boy. Looks like he could have a heavyweight type build! So far he manages to stay in his stance with decent technique. He hits like a mule too. It's mittwork so far with very light sparring. (I don't hit him - he gets to beat me up & practices defending the occasional shot) I'm glad you're getting back in shape again! Were you terribly out of shape? Do you set KM targets or are you walking more casually? I haven't walked regularly since last summer & I'm hoping to get that going in the spring! I rollerskate too and that is a better workout than it looks What are you planning to do at the gym? I'm happy to see you had the kids over & got to cook again. I've been rooting for you these past few months & it's good news. Do you have any more plans to get together with them? And have you got the appetite back to cook again? I don't cook myself so I appreciate a well prepared meal. I mostly boil rice & make a veg & meat stir fry for both lunch & dinner. For breakfast it's toast & scrambled eggs. (No drinking raw eggs for me) Thanks for posting John. I'm happy to hear from you & hope you keep seeing positive developments.

Hi Beth, Hope you've been well. Please don't feel the need to apologize on my behalf. I'm glad the mods/admin have deleted the message though. I dropped in to contribute but it seems that my commentary is unwanted - so I'll be taking another hiatus. Thanks for being kind & patient in your conduct. Best Wishes, Small.

Hitler? Seriously? Hope you see sense & delete this comment.

It's 6.30pm here. Had a busy Christmas at my parents house. I'm still here. How about you? Did you get a chance to cook?

Ive missed you buddy.

Merry Christmas John

Hey guys, I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I have last posted - life has been getting in the way I guess. How is everyone? Feel free to post here and let me know how things have ben recently. I look a the sps sub forum now and then and it really does seem like a big problem. I do hope that everyone finds the resolve required to deal with their issues - no matter what they are. I had a moment of crisis last night and may very well still be in one. My life is not straightforward. I know that everyone here is lacking in some form or another otherwise we wouldn't be here- even for those who just want to connect with likeminded people. I remember when I first joined this forum and the months and years thereafter. I don't have any shame in admitting that it has brought me much in the way of excitement, drama, joy and a support group. I have met some cool guys here - some still with us and others not. I think sometimes perspective helps and though I have been in my fair share of bickering and spats, I wouldn't change that for the world. I think time either sterilises events or it gives them meaning. This place means so much to me. I hope you all are as well as can be. I do intend to post more!

I had a look at zoom & the permissions they ask for the install is too much for my liking. I can do Skype & WhatsApp if you guys establish a group.

Yes. You're special.

Can anyone objectively & accurately refute the points I made? Any man or woman on this subforum is welcome to share their view. My views are not from a POV of hate. I, like most, appreciate the feminine touch women bring. I just make an attempt to look under the bonnet from time to time. One must understand that action & mannerisms are two separate entities. Women might be softer in their manners, but their actions are much more self serving than men. That is a fact beyond any measure of doubt. Look out for the little obvious things. Ever notice how women are more decisive in breakups than men? How they move on more quickly? How they always want the last say im arguments? How they insist men change for them? What about the way they love? Notice how they seem to love being loved by a man & how he treats her - more than actually loving him? Why does this contradict this sweet, nurturing & sympathetic view we have of them? Because they manner themselves differently. Women are extremely selfish in comparison to men. I actually admire their selfishness. It's something I'm in desperate need of. I envy their ability to self indulge. So I'm not hating, just calling it the way I see it.

My thoughts on this matter are not fact - but just a representation of my ideas regarding women. What I observed accounts for ''most women'' not all so forgive me for not excluding about 15% or so in every statement I make. My initial observation regarding women is that they are most wired into their pleasure principle and superego. The ego is much weaker than that in men would explain a deficit in linear movement or logic, and this is why men probably find them to be ''self righteous & circular'' a lot of the time. Their drive to happiness gives the misconception that they are both sympathetic & empathetic, but I believe this not to be the case at all. Their ''empathy/sympathy'' seeks to preserve their moral right and wrong, and these vary throughout their lives. A man is typically morally rigid - and because he is so hard wired into his death drive - more often than not he will accept his crimes as he does them. Try listening to a woman who confesses to a transgression …. crickets …… and this is because they shape their morals in a manner that is self approving. They are only very vaguely and briefly wrong, other than that they are always right. It seems their most obvious conflict arises from their strongest needs to ''take form'' (which is to be intimately shaped by the events around them) and the need for ''admiration''. When men seek approval through accomplishments, accolades, and material goods - while placing a purely intrinsic value on those achievements. It would make sense therefore that a woman would seek out a resourceful and accomplished man - but the values she would place on his (or her own) worldly faculties are much less intrinsic and require the need to be in regards to how they utilise them. That's why women typically spend their money - to adore themselves in nice clothes and makeup - this example is a prime one, because it shows their immediate need to transform resources into enablers for admiration and taking form. There is only one type of woman that comes to mind that can reconcile the need to ''take form'' and to be ''admired'' and that is a truly (physically) beautiful woman. Their beauty acts to enable the world shaping them (people, specifically) while simultaneously making them feel admired. Other than that, the conflict is a strong one and it goes on to shape a great deal of the mess we have come to know and appreciate in women. This is why subconsciously (actually, it's preconsciously for women) women seek out wealthy (relative definition) men. A woman see's a man's assets as avenues, each of which has an arrow pointing to a progress (for her and them) of some kind. Simultaneously, the journey down these avenues might and should get them the admiration they need, through status, adorning themselves with their material benefits, and through ''moral'' utilisation of these pathways. (Note that If these were her own assets, she couldn't take form as much as she would be forced into giving form, which is why you'll find that most women would rather marry a rich man than win the lottery). If a woman lacks the obvious assets to walk down a path that her man has carved out for her, then she would instead want these arrows to point in her direction - rather than to go through them. This is why if a rich man marries a woman sub - par in looks, she would very rarely walk the road with him, and seek to ''emasculate'' him via his endeavours so to limit his direction to where she can handle. So where does penis size come into this? Going back to the need for taking form and admiration. There is no greater giver of physical, mental and emotional form to a woman, than a big penis. It means more in this regard than a strong build, handsomeness, charisma - anything that a woman says she likes in a man. The more beautiful the woman, the greater the need for a big penis to satisfy her need of taking form. (It takes a big penis to trump such beauty). A penis is not a sexual organ for a woman - it is a man's measure. It is his reach, it is his force, it his ability to invade and to sustain his invasion. It is the ultimate male strength, in and out of the bedroom. And should a big-penis man not be so dominant in every day life - a woman would simply regard it is being unfulfilled potential, not a lack of (Which is why small penis men are seen as over achievers). With the above comes admiration. Do we really think a woman that's with a well endowed man won't mention it to her friends? It is the biggest compliment to her. Conversely, a user did mention that his girlfriend, with no ''personal'' objection to his size, didn't want her friends to know about it (and rightly so). Because a small penis, for her, is a reflection of her desirability. To some degree she can pin it on the man so long as it stays private, but once it comes out, she will be made to feel extremely undesirable by his lack in size. (Conversely, this is why an unattractive woman who has accepted she's unattractive, would settle for a smaller sized man while a woman that is grappling with this would probably display sexually deviant behaviour). Oops did I say deviant? I meant liberal. Anyway - I have made the effort to be fair and objective. This post is not an attack on women, but I am trying to simply lift the lid on their ''elusive'' (nothing is elusive with understanding) natures. I would not be so quick to label women as being nurturing empaths. I think we are all misled by their conduct (and it is this conduct that men fall in love with - it is lovely isn't it?) rather than the underlying driving forces. There are many variations and I think some of which cause anomalies - making for even pretty women not to require a big penis to take form. Hope I haven't pissed anyone off, this is just my personal understanding.

Ding ding ding!

I skated outside last week. For the first 10 minutes i was fine, i got over all the bumps & cracks fluidly. But idk what happened. A switch went off & i lost all my confidence - with that i kept losing my balance. Sigh.

For years I've just assumed people know & it makes things better & worse all at the same time. The workplace is no different from the playground, and co workers are no different from co students. It took being in my workplace to make me conclusively see that most people don't grow up - they just grow old - with the same biases, beliefs, morals & values they had as adolescents. It makes me angry that it's the most limited people that do the most damage to me. People too stupid to evaluate, reflect & put things into perspective. Dull but driven, like a cannonball fired from birth which lacks neither the incentive nor ability to change direction. These bastards smash through everything in their way - with no concept of where they are going or why. It pisses me off that despite all their limitations they do me so much damage to me. Their primitive weapons penetrate my versatile defenses time and time again. They are too ignorant to waver & i am too self doubting to stand my ground. So in every encounter i have with people at work - i am always running and hiding. Mentally, emotionally & verbally. I'd love to get one of these guys in a situation where he are utterly hopeless. I want to look into his eyes at the very moment he sees his doom. Then I'd joke & jibe, prod & play. Show me how YOU run you stupid, fucking, bastard.

.

Thanks for posting guys. Resolute would have appreciated us coming together to remember him. You guys meant the world to him - his on forum correspondence with us really gave him relief from his struggles.

Thanks for reopening the thread @IrmaJean. And thank you @Klingsorfor writing that. It brought a tear to my eye. It's been a year since Resolute has left us. And I didn't want to let this day go by without mentioning him. I miss him, and to put it selfishly, my life would be a happier place if he was still with us. I find it so difficult to think about him. In my thoughts, I have avoided him all that i could. But in the moments i am overcome with a recollection of him - I first find myself smiling, before being overcome with heartache & grief. I truly miss him. Klingsor has spoken perfectly on his character & there's nothing I can add to it. He is one of the few people that lifted my moods every time we spoke. He actually listened, and knew to how to say the right thing. I don't claim to know the wonders of the universe, or the cycle of life, death & perhaps life again. But I am a believer in God - and I am also a believer in justice. So I hope & pray with all my heart, that no matter where he is, our friend Resolute has found peace. Klingsor: In truth, our final conversations were the darkest we ever shared, and i often wondered if it were better that we didn't have them. I hope that in time you're able to see things as they were, and be at peace with the matter: He loved you and spoke about you up until the very end. Maybe when our lives are over we can see him again and if we do, I know full well that he would greet you with a smile. I don't know what else to say. I still miss him, and I haven't allowed myself to mourn him either. Though he would deny it, i think he would appreciate being remembered by his friends. I feel privileged to have known him, and honoured for him to have called me his friend. RIP.

A friend can make all the difference in the world.

@YOTH I'm sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to his friends & family. Tom & I messaged several months back, he seemed to have a good handle on things back then. Terrible news.