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ycaljo

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ycaljo last won the day on July 27 2015

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  1. Thanks everyone for listening. It is what it is, I guess I'll figure it out eventually.
  2. I probably need to try to meet people, I just have such a lack of motivation. I don't know how to care enough to make a change, seems more realistic to just quit. But I guess that is just whining.
  3. I just don't know. I feel like the problem is definitely me, not the location. I just feel very alone and lost. I can't seem to move, I feel so stuck.
  4. I moved about 6 months ago to a new state, I'm now away from most of my family (mom, dad, extended relatives). I'm a single mother of two teenagers and they love where we are living now but I am so unhappy and it is causing me so much anxiety. I feel like I'm on the edge of a complete mental meltdown. I am so lonely and I work from home so I haven't met any people to build friendships with. I have noticed that I am becoming more and more isolated to the point I just don't want to leave the house. I don't want to even talk to people on the phone, I sort of just want to roll into a ball, lay down on my bed and never wake up. I don't have friends, I don't have a single hobby or anything I like to do. I just work during the day on my computer and sit on the couch in the evening. If this is all there is to life, I'm over it and I don't want to live it anymore. I'm not suicidal but if possible I would just like to sit in a chair staring at a wall until life is over. I just am done. I'm sure my kids would be sad if I wasn't here but they would grieve and then move on. There really isn't any purpose to my life so I feel like I'm just wasting space.
  5. I check in every once in awhile, just had good timing this time
  6. Well I'm sad to say that relationship has died. We worked through a lot of issues together and I just hope I helped build him up enough that he will not be so scared to pursue a relationship in the future. We parted on good terms but it's still sad.
  7. I understand what you mean, and I also understand my opinions can only go so far. I'm not a guy & I can never fully comprehend all of this. But I do have a heart for you all.
  8. I wish you guys could climb into my brain and read it, because I'm not so great at putting together my thoughts in a way that makes sense so I'm going to use a very dumb analogy and it's just because I can't think of any better way to make my point. Let's say there is a burger place with the absolute most amazing burgers in the world, just deliciousness on a bun... If you go there to eat with some buddies, you are going to enjoy that burger so much more than if you go to eat with some uptight stranger that you're not comfortable with. The burger is the same both times but it's so much better when you can relax and enjoy yourself. Same with sex, if you are with someone you are comfortable with and can be yourself around, sex is going to be so much more amazing than if you're with some uptight snooty witch that you can't relax with. Vice versa for guys and girls... It's not all about intercourse, it's also about feelings and touch and kisses and words whispered in your ear. Don't dwell on the scientific parts of it, just enjoy it for what it is...I guarantee the more you can relax and enjoy yourself, the more she will as well. She will enjoy herself just like if she was sitting at the burger place with friends, but if you're throwing off uncomfortable vibes because you're thinking too much, it will be like eating that burger with someone not so fun.
  9. Hey guys, I just wanted to say something about this and you can take it or leave it, not going to hurt my feelings but just something to think about. The vagina is essentially a muscle or rather it has several rings of muscles just inside of it. It can open up pretty large (obviously big enough to shoot a baby out of, lol!) but it can also feel tight on any regular day. The thought that after a woman has a child or if a woman has had a lot of sex, she will be "looser" is not totally true, the fact is when a woman is super turned on and in the moment or however you want to say it, she can feel looser and the reason for that is because she is feeling good, satisfied, she is stress free and relaxed. When a woman, perhaps a virgin or someone without a lot of experience, is having sex they are sometimes more tense or not completely relaxed, they seem "tight" because they are tensing the muscles of their vagina. Just like when you are around your friends joking and laughing and you feel comfortable, you are relaxed, but if a hot chica comes to talk to you, you tense up. Sex for a woman is going to feel great regardless of whether she is tensed up (tight) or relaxed (loose) because there are a ton of nerve endings in the vagina and women can also flex those muscles which can lead to better orgasms for her as well as a feeling of tightness for you. Sometimes a very small tampon can feel uncomfortable in my vagina but my boyfriends penis (which is bigger than the tampon) feels great and it's really just a matter of how turned on I am. So...although it seems contradictory, the looser she feels to you kind of means the better you feel to her. She is feeling relaxed, satisfied, and good. There are women out there who are going to be rude and cruel no matter what, and they will say stuff about small penis on men, but really it has more to say about them and not about the man. The vagina is full of nerve endings, sex is going to be good and the more you can shut down your mind and just FEEL, the better it will be for you and for her because girls want to know their guys are satisfied as well. It is a sense of accomplishment to bring your man to orgasm.
  10. I like the way you write, Small. It's very eloquent.
  11. Why does it always have to go to the dark side, when we're just having a conversation. This is why I never post on here.
  12. Bettina-I'm sorry I didn't respond with a better answer earlier, I've had a very strange work schedule for the last couple of days but I've got a couple of minutes and I wanted to offer some thoughts. Our stories are so similar but there are also some differences and I think every person is different and you have to feel comfortable with your thoughts, decisions, etc so please take my thoughts at face value and if you don't agree or desire my advice, my feelings will not be hurt. From your message, I came to the understanding that you have had sex with your guy before you knew he possibly had issues with his size? My guy actually talked to me about his worries before we ever had sex together and I think it was better that way because we were able to work through stuff together, and I think the biggest thing we worked through was the fact that he was incredibly worried that he could not please me in bed. I'm not sure about your experience, but I wonder if he feels he did not perform well for you. This could be why he hasn't wanted to spend the night with you since. Also, over the last 8 months or so while working on this relationship, there have been a few times when I just wanted to throw in the towel. He would say all kinds of wonderful loving things to me, but then he would pull away emotionally and I would think he didn't truly care. I think the best lesson for me has been to truly take the words he says to heart and when his actions don't back up the things he is saying, I have to remember how very difficult this is for him. And remind myself of his feelings for me. I absolutely love him and I'm not sure if your feelings for this man have blossomed into love, but for me love is about the other person's happiness. When I would get frustrated or upset by how things were progressing between us, I would just remember to be patient, because love is being patient and kind and understanding when the other person is struggling and this struggle is very real and very difficult for him. My biggest piece of advice for you is this...(and this advice was given to me by the guys on this forum and I am forever grateful because it has saved my relationship)...Never de-value his issues by blowing them off or saying everybody has problems. His problems are absolutely real and important to him. If you try to make it seem like it's not a big deal then it is similar to saying you do not care about his problems. The truth is everybody does have problems and we're all dealing with our own demons but that doesn't take away from how important or debilitating this is to him. If you love him, be patient. Best wishes to you and if you ever need someone to talk to message me anytime!!
  13. Thanks Resolute for posting the links, I'm bad about checking in. Bettina-don't give up on him, hang in there, stay positive!
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