Autumn

Hi LaLa, I agree with what you said as well. The friend is not a jerk, he isn't trying to steal me away. It's just really obvious how he feels... but he's not acting on it. And I also agree that my relationship is not necessarily doomed, I think that would be a super oversimplification of a very complex situation. Thank you for your support and encouragement, I am so grateful to you

Hi LaLa, thanks for your response. I'm not sure if this will directly reply to your comment, I hope so, but I'm still new at figuring this website out 1) I don't know if I still want to stay with my boyfriend, for reasons unrelated to the friend... we're having a hard time agreeing on where to move after I graduate and I don't know if we'll be able to compromise 2) I don't know if I see a future with the friend, I'm honestly too scared to contemplate that, but I do have very strong feelings for him. As a friend, he means a lot to me. As more than a friend, he also means a lot to me. 3) We haven't really discussed similar issues in the past, no... 4) That friend is single Like This Quote MultiQuote Edit

Hi LaLa, thanks for your response. I'm not sure if this will directly reply to your comment, I hope so, but I'm still new at figuring this website out 1) I don't know if I still want to stay with my boyfriend, for reasons unrelated to the friend... we're having a hard time agreeing on where to move after I graduate and I don't know if we'll be able to compromise 2) I don't know if I see a future with the friend, I'm honestly too scared to contemplate that, but I do have very strong feelings for him. As a friend, he means a lot to me. As more than a friend, he also means a lot to me. 3) We haven't really discussed similar issues in the past, no... 4) That friend is single

Hi everyone, I've been ignoring this problem for a long time, let sleeping dogs lie etc., but that hasn't been working out so great. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have had our ups and downs, have managed to overcome most of them, some of our issues still need to be ironed out. Anyway, I met his best friend shortly after we started dating in 2007, and we've developed our own friendship over the years, with the encouragement of my boyfriend. Problem is, I'm pretty sure his friend has at various times had feelings for me, and honestly I've had a recurring thing for him since maybe 2012. If I wait it out long enough/suppress it the feelings fade. But the problem is they *always* resurface. It's starting to eat me up inside... I've tried avoiding him but my boyfriend keeps encouraging that we should talk etc. After a good 10 months of not speaking with the friend, we've started talking again these past few weeks (nothing major, really simple stuff) and of course my feelings are all over the place, once again. I don't know what to do... I don't want to be unfair to anyone or cause tension in their friendship by telling anyone about this. I've cycled through these feelings 5 or 6 times in the past 3 years. I don't know what to do. Should I talk to the friend about my feelings or is it better if I continue keeping this to myself? The thing is I don't know if keeping it to myself is ever going to be a permanent solution since the feelings continue to resurface. I believe there is a difference between being truthful about how you feel and working through it vs acting on those feelings. I don't want to do anything inappropriate and I'm not looking for an excuse to do so. I just don't know how to deal with this and I'm feeing very confused and overwhelmed.