Lantrier

When I feel nostalgic, I remember when I was a child, because when I was a child I thought I could accomplish anything I wanted. I was living in my own world, so I did not think about society or about my future. About music, I love listening to Yoko Kanno: I love Japanese's sounds.

I don't have a sex drive: I have never had one during all my life. No libido, no sexual attraction, no arousal, no sensations, nothing, i'm literally dead. I don't know what is the name of my condition: I don't think it exist one. I'am going to see a doctor next week to talk about that, so maybe it will help and take some blood test, and maybe I am going to try some medications for this problem, who knows, it could help. I don't think about suicide, but my life is still very bad. I still have some hope that one day it's going to be better, but I have to be lucky.

Welcome to my world emed27. Me to I can't have have orgasm, and even better, I can't sense anything from my penis at all. I have this condition from as long as I can remember (when I was born). This cause me depression and feeling of sadness. And me to I have tried a lot of medications from my psychiatrist and nothing seems to work unfortunalty. I'm feeling like a zombie all the time. Courage, one day we're going to get better, I hope.

I think that 4,5 inch erect size is perfectly fine. I don't understand why more than that can be better. Usually, when somebody said that it was to small to enjoy sex with the partner has a some sort of problem with his ego: the pride thing. It's all in the head. We have to stop worrying about that. and look outside to have better confidence in ourselves. To have confidence in ourselves is more important than penis size I think. Look at me, I have an average penis, and I have never dated someone: what a shame. Why? Not because of my penis size obviously, but because I lack trust in myself. For differents reasons I guess, but the most important reason that I don't have the courage to date is because I don't have sensations from my penis. So I have to overcome this fear as you have to overcome your fear of penis size. It's a continuess process to let go of our fears, so we can finally begin to take initiative. We have to stop being afraid of our body, and be proud of it.

You are not less important than the others that you think are better. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The good news is that we can work on our imperfections if we think we have some. I think we have to stop comparing ourself with the others, because it can only serve us no good. If someone has success in life, it is because he is lucky, not because he has worked hard, since many work hard and have no success anyway. It's just a matter of luck, and perhaps one day its going to be your turn. Life is unfair, so the must important thing that we must say to our head is that we are mattering as much. if not more, than the favored group.

Because I can't, I don't know why. In the rare ocasion that I watch porn, I am trying to be the person in the video, but it's no use: I can't release my urges. I don't understand why everyone are watching porn, maybe one day I'll understand.

I would love to be able to enjoy porn as you all do, but I can't. I have never liked watching porn, not because I was jealous of their privates parts, but because I was jealous that they were capable of having pleasures when they do the thing (if only I could me to have pleasures, just one time). So because of that, I don't have any value by watching porn contrary to everyone on this planet.

There are scenarios where we cannot do anything about our suffering even when we tries our harder to overcome the problem. I'm upset when people in my entourage tell me that it's all in my head and that I should be positive, that my happiness all depend on me. LOLL I would like to tell them if they should be able to be happy if they had castration during all their life as me, I think that they won't be happy, I think even that they would be extremly depressing. Generally, people don't have the capacity to determine the extent of the suffering of others except if they have been in extreme pain in their life, if not, then they will all say that it's in our head and that everybody is capable of happiness: what a bullshit. I have every reason to be sad and no one are going to change that, my only hope is in medication, but right now it does not help. There are no free will, I had complete no control over my life: it's as I had a curse.

I had a friend that was constantly provocating me, so I decided to stop seeing him. I tolerated this a long time until it was enought. Maybe I shoud have not stop seeing him, because now my circle of friends have diminish.

It's not your fault, and you should not worry about what the others thinks of you. You are a human being so you have a perfect right to be happy with yourself.

Me to I realy hate my body and I don't like looking at the mirror. If only I did not had acne, but every week if not everdy day there is a pimple that show up, and I have a lot of scars because of that. During all my life I hated my body, and I don't find myself attractive. I don't see how someone can be attract to me: this look impossible. When I see someone good looking, I always said to myself that this person is lucky. It must be so much easier for them to be social and to be in a relationship.

I have not gone to work for three days because of the fear that marijuana gave me, so I lost my job. I was able to work for 9 days prior to that. I don't know how long its going to take me to find another job, all my hope was with that agency, and now I think I am on their black list (because I have wasting their time for not continuing at the job they found me). I guess I am going to need to find a job on my own.

After 10 months without a job, I finally had the chance to work again. I was with a some sort of agency for people with mental problems. My advisor found me a job for me, and after all the arrangments I was able to work at the place. I worked one week without problems, but at the end of the week, my uncle came to my appartment. My uncle take drugs (marijuana and speed), and I offer him to pay 20 bucks so that I could have marijuana. I wanted to take that for three days (friday to sunday) in the hope that this drug gave me sensations (libido). So I took it for three days, and had no sensations (perhaps 30 sec of a increase in libido, but its nothing really), but the major problem is that it was making me paranoid. I was under the impression that the others was able to read my mind because my mind was to weak. So I did not go to work next monday because of the fear of peoples, and I lost my job. Thats a shame, especially after all the the steps my advisor has done for me. After that, I took again marijuana one day to two days a week, each time that my uncle came to my appartment. I should never begin this drug, it did not help with my libido, and lost my job. I have others addictions that I am not proud of, as Tobaco and alcohol. So I think that I am going to stop all that, because they are destroying my life and make my life anywhere.

I 'm not really a believer, but I do not think that accusing God for all our problems are going to help. When I look at all my misery , I say to myself that it is not God 's fault, but it's all because of the ego of the human being. If we stop comparing ourselves to others, if we stop being jealous , I think it can improved our lives, but it's easier said than done: I still don't know how to not be jealous.

In life, there are three type of person. Those who are fortunate Those who are not fortunate but they can be with tremendous efforts. Those who are simply not fortunate and cannot do anything about that.