Terrorised

we are not paintings, and should not be treated as such. inanimate objects might have no inherent rights, but conscious intelligent living beings, that have feelings, emotions, senses and sensations, do have rights inherently. otherwise, the terms "justice", "injustice", "fairness", "unfairness", etc., would have absolutely no meaning (since injustice is the absence of justice, no injustice can be brought upon something/someone that has no inherent rights, because without rights there would be no object for justice). again, no offence, but, it's a pathetic god indeed that would/must resort to such tactics in order for people to "run back to him" and "experience his goodness". a proper motivation (befitting of a god) should make no use of fear, terror , threats, pain, suffering, misery, displeasure, torture, eternal damnation, evil, and so on. wouldn't you agree? I agree we are not paintings, it was just the only way I could think of to try and bring you to my understanding. I understand the word God to mean object of worship, so before we existed he was not God, so the purpose of creating humans would be so that they would worship him so that he would become God to those who worship him. But not by force so he wanted man to worship him by choice, what choice? Good and Evil. Hence the devil/satan. So all the pain and suffering is not so much that God is punishing you but rather that he leaves you to your own devices since you don't need him ( by "you" I don't mean anyone in particular just in case anyone gets offended). The bible describes the devil as "a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" and that's where the pain and suffering comes from.

The way I see it is who tells the artist what and where to draw? What to add and what to dismiss in his paintings? Which work of art he should keep and which to destroy? Which painting to hate and which to love? All of this is decided by the artist, painter himself. He decides what to do with his own work. Similarly God does what he will as he is the creator. He puts evil out there so when you see it and it frightens you, you have Him to run back to for safety and experience his goodness. Otherwise what would motivate you to seek God? Just my sentiment.

I suppose if you want to blame God for something it would be for creating Satan but that was done to contrast good against evil. But if you say Satan does not exist then I cannot counter that as I cannot prove the existence of Satan, not even God. I believe one needs a personal experience of both to know and understand them.

Well God is no respector of persons so I don't agree that "God does favour some over others". The Bible says that it is indeed Satan who is prince and ruler of this world so if anyone is to blame for the wide spread hostility towards men with small penises it should be Satan. My sentiment about this world though is that it is a shitty place to be and that the way people live is they try to live as painlessly as they possibly can depending on the resources they have available to them. Money is a good means of living as painless a life as possible, combined with great looks and a big penis an one could live as painless a life as they could. Because All three will get you sex and sex in my opinion is the ultimate escape in this shitty world and anything that hinders you from getting sex will be a source of great pain. A small cock is a sure way of living a painful life these days considering how more women are voicing out there preference and appreciation for big penises. There's no respect for unhung men but plenty is given to those who are hung. You even hear it in the language that is used as guys with big dicks are described as being "gifted" or "endowed" while small guys are humiliated. I have no words of encouragement accept to find some sort of escape that can make this life somewhat bearable. I love to listen to music and creating my own music. You can also follow the advice of people who say you should have a don't-give-a-fuck attitude about it, but in my opinion that's pretty hard to do when you have very little if anything at all to brag about.

I'm sorry that you are hurting this much. I don't really know what to say but I really hope things get better for you. I don't condone self harm but I am all about doing what you must to lessen the pain one feels. Take care.

I have asked this to women who say size doesn't matter, that if two men who differ vastly in size, one small and the other big, yet both poses the same level of skill under the sheets, which would they choose to have meaningless sex with? I have never heard one woman say small.

Do you feel you would like to have interactions and friendships with others, but you avoid people because you feel afraid? Or does it feel too hard to engage with others right now and that's why you try to stay away? The first part of your question is 100%. I want to interact normally with people but I feel I cant because I feel there is something innately wrong with me, so I avoid people to avoid rejection, or people finding me boring and seeing me as someone who does not have a life and generally lonely and unhappy. When I cant avoid people and have to interact with them like at work then I try to hide my insecurities with a smile a joke and a laugh and I do it well I must say. Some people think I'm a peoples person and don't even believe me when I say I'm single. They think I'm hiding something. I am but its not a girlfriend. I can usually go for a while pretending to be ok before the second part of your question comes to play. After some time pretending to be happy takes its toll and I just don't want to do it any longer but at the same time I don't want anyone finding out that I'm actually not happy. Is there anyone in your life who you feel safe enough to be genuinely yourself with? My little brother. I behave however I want when it is just him and I. But he has his own friends and does not live at home currently. I laugh the loudest when I'm with him. We're here to listen and support you. I hope you feel better. Thank you so much.

Sorry to hear man. I've never really cared much about my height. I don't know how tall I am (I've never measured, I don't see the point. what do you do with that fact anyway?) but I know I've never been the tall or tallest guy in any situation. In most situations where I find myself around guys I'm usually the shortest guy there or I might be taller than one other guy there. Doesn't bother me much but I do understand the frustration of wanting something that cannot be achieved. Wanting to fix something that cannot be fixed. I don't have any words of encouragement. I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I would definitely be happier in a job with less human interaction. I've been thinking of taking leave for some time. I guess I should do it. I'm not enjoying work at the moment and I'm constantly exhausted. Thanks Vic

I'm a pessimist. I don't see anything positive about life. I think of the world as a hostile place where good things happen now and then. For me it's just about survival. Avoiding situations that will make life unbearable (jail) and living life not so much as positively as you can but rather as painlessly as you possibly can if that makes sense.

I remember last week thinking to myself that I don't want to talk to anyone. I took different entrances at work to avoid colleagues I usually converse with. I didn't even let them know I was in. But people think I'm a people's person, that I'm friendly and get along with everyone so they always come to me all happy and jolly for some chill time. They don't know it's all an act. A very tiring act. But this (the feeling of being overwhelmed) comes and goes.

It's alright. I've heard worse stories.

I mastered fake smiling in my early teens upon realising no one cares about your feelings if you are a boy. You must deal with it, whatever "it" is, and if you cant then you must be gay. I only recently started describing it as depression, before then I used to call it being-a-bitch and whenever I felt overwhelmed I'd reprimand myself harshly by telling myself to stop acting like a bitch. I remember once as kid overhearing one guy calling out another guy as "acting like a women" for showing his emotions and I knew right there that it is bad to show emotion. You have to be a man and toughen up and pretend nothings going on, lesson learnt but there were harsher ones to learn still. At some point during my early teens my dad used to beat the shit out of me if I ever showed anger. The beatings progressed to getting whipped for non performance at school, then soon after for no apparent reason he'd threaten to whip me. Once he caught me in the bath, he whipped the fuck out of me and I ran out the house naked towards some old ladies thinking they would assist but they ran from me. The beatings stopped once I mustered up the courage to tell my dad after he had threatened to hit me, that if he did hit me it wouldn't be because I did anything wrong but rather, it would be because he finds pleasure in fucking me up. He didn't say anything that day. Didn't even look at me but the beatings stopped. Other miner things happened during that time that lead me to think everything I say or do is wrong so I wont do or say anything to anyone ever again. Just keep to yourself and smile. I have kept to that promise for a long time now.

I don't know what to say and I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to write, I simply DON'T KNOW. I feel like I'm getting worse everyday, falling deeper into depression. I'm stuck in my head all day and fake smiling my way out of answering questions genuinely. "Are you okay? you don't look okay...? *fake-smile* " oh yeah I'm cool, just thinking that's all". As soon as the person leaves I forget all about that little interaction and go back to the deep dark thoughts. In about an hours time I'm going to have to fake interest in whatever will be discussed in the staff meeting. Pretend to know what is being discussed by nodding every time a point is made and agree with every conclusion ( "yes, yes I agree"..."yes that's true"..."yeah, that could work") and hopefully not be asked to make an input because I am not in the right space right now. It's not that I don't appreciate my work, I do but, I am a real mess right now and I don't know how to fix this.

Man. This post almost makes me feel like I have nothing to complain about. I'm sorry Res and I hope things look up for you soon man.