YOTH

Yeh, I'm still out here, doing fine. We no longer run the support group, but I've remained good friends with two of the guys and we're still in regular contact. I have managed to overcome a lot of my anxieties and have gone from about 90% stress to about 10%. Truth be told, it'll never be 0%, but that's the way she goes. I still miss Tom and his death kicks me around a lot during August, but that's to be expected, he was a great friend. I see a lot of guys on Reddit with similar issues, but I don't reach out anymore. There is only one solution to our problem, and that is embracing it and not letting it define you. But I'm just talking owning it mentally, because this shit is the pits, and I wouldn't talk about it publicly even to this day. The last guy I spoke to made we want to cry. Not because I felt sorry for him, but because of how many good people have to carry this burden around with them today and how many children will have to carry it around tomorrow. But there is hope. And it comes from moving through awkward conversations with the people you love. Confide in your partners, tell them how you feel. Let people in and start a dialogue. Because Tom didn't do that when it really mattered and he never got to see a brighter future. But his death made me reevaluate everything. Now I just think about him and I find the courage to say the thing that would have otherwise eaten me alive from the inside out. Love 'can' be shown through sex. But sex isn't 'automatically' love. And if a lesbian couple can fall in love and get happily married without a penis between them, then it stands to reason that love is somewhere else entirely. But all this is easier said than done. And I'm well aware of the crippling anxiety that comes with this nightmare. So, to the guys who are still going through this, you're not alone, you're not the only one. And I genuinely hope you come out the other side. And if anyone wants to get in touch with me, just send me a private message or something.

Like a frightened turtle

You still have ridiculously beautiful women, way too many than Scandinavia deserves, but all the Viking men are long dead. Not sure where I'm going with this, but we're not much like Romans either.

Still doesn't make sense in terms of flaccid to erect size. The whole process of stretch measuring is flawed, but I still agree that the average would come out around 5 inches or there about. And it's still considered small, so it's a pointless argument anyway, I shouldn't have been such a condescending prick about it.

@Klingsor I listen to the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack all the time, and that scene is one of the tracks. "When she fucks this cat, it hurts". Such a great monologue. It's also got the Charles Bronson bank manager speech that Mr White tells Mr Orange on the stakeout. Love that fucking movie.

Exactly, unless they measure erect, it's all null and void anyway. And lets be clear, there's nobody (Urologist or otherwise) measuring a guys hard cock covertly.

Well, I know guys from here who actively avoid going to the doctor at all because of their size, so I still stand by that. And how the fuck, on god's green hell do you covertly measure a guys junk? Of course you'd have to ask. If a doctor was messing about with my old boy I'd be watching the cunt like a hawk. I'm telling you right now, guys with micropenises are not popping in for regular checkups, covert or otherwise.

I've been saying this for years, these figures will never be black and white because they're voluntary. If you factor in every man who wouldn't be caught dead getting measured, you'll find the average would drop. The truth is, that some guys are ok with their size, some guys are more than ok with their size, and the rest us have to pretend or completely struggle. Things will only get worse in society because perception is made entirely of lies and perception is everything. But it's about time we grew as men and at least tried to take back the truth, not allowing anyone who feels like it the power to tell us what they think is normal. Normal is bullshit, it always has been, and the truth be told, it doesn't exist.

Even then it's a great height to fall from. I sometimes wonder if a big chunk of male suicide is down to erectile dysfunction and other issues. A secret agony that is too embarrassing to admit or get help for so they just clock out early. That fucking organ in all its manifestations is the bane of the planet. If it's not right now, give it a minute, it'll fuck you eventually. That's a horrible thought. Every man is carrying around the one thing that will eventually fuck us harder than anyone else ever could. And the smaller it is, the more it fucking hurts.

This is the absolute truth. I personally believe that most SPS sufferers are stubborn and dominant in their thinking (especially in youth) and we feel screwed over and it doesn't sit right. We want what were owed, all of it. But the sooner we make what uptight said our number one mantra in life, the sooner we'll find that slice of happiness.

Hey, Emed. Sorry you're having a tough time, it's shit, there's no two ways about it. Congratulations on losing weight and looking better, that's a difficult thing to achieve, I've struggled with weight loss for years, so I take my hat off to you. There's no easy way of saying this, but as painful as it is, you're going to have to let the woman (whoever that is) make the decision of whether your size is an issue. For some women it is, but for other women it isn't. I've been with both and it's just something we have to deal with, it's an unavoidable experience. But I can tell you for a fact that some women do see beyond size and genuinely don't care. And when you meet a woman who you love and she loves you, it's worth the pain and is one hell of a lot better than suicide. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't genuinely considered suicide (for more reasons than just SPS) but ultimately there is always an outcome out there better than that is just waiting to be found. I'm in the middle of one of the darkest periods I've ever been in, and I still believe in hope. Don't give up, Emed. So many people have given up, be one of the success stories. If you ever need somebody to talk to, on here or over voice chat, just let me know. I'm still in a lot of pain from Tom's death, I see that more and more every day. It's something I still carry around with me. If there are people out there who care about and love you and will miss you if you're gone, just know that a part of them dies as well when someone commits suicide. You were dealt a shitty card, I get that, arguably shittier than mine and I understand that too, but I think we should just own it. It is what it is, we can't change it, but we can change how it makes us feel. Anyway, I'm rambling, but reach out to me if you want.

@Victimorthecrime Dole away, I'm open to suggestions and advice, if you want to say something, feel free. I'm ok atm, but it's an ongoing thing. Up, down, peaks, troughs, it never ends.

Dunno really, the usual suspects?Addiction, depression and becoming a zombified husk of my former self. Turns out I'd never been depressed before, not at any point in my whole life, but I only realised that when I was actually depressed, until that point I had nothing to compare it to. It was honestly the worst feeling I've ever felt. But that was then, just need to focus on the future.

I didn't even think it would happen tbh, it was a surprise when it did. But she's living proof that not every woman is a shallow pos. She didn't even know I had an issue until a few years back, so I guess I hid my emotions better than I thought in my head. But sex over the last year has been great, mainly because I saw it for what it was rather than what it appears to be. I actually think most men live a secret life of performance anxiety and stress. It's not easy for a guy, it's a real work out.

I'm ok, bit of a rough year, hopefully 2020 is kinder.

Long time no see. How are you?

Again, it's a numbers game. So the women who think it's creepy are part of the numbers you're cutting out. You don't have to say it matter of fact, just make it a joke. Like, 'less than impressive penis, great sense of humour, which helps with the penis'. A subtle nod rather than coming right out with it. My point being, that it's better to play the numbers than have the numbers play you. Most guys in here have only been with one or two partners and they've already had their confidence shattered by the numbers playing them. This would be a next stage approach, a solution to the 'more of the same, keep running over the same old ground' mentality. I don't think it'd be easy, but it's easier than dating in the dark and obsessing over the reveal. The truth is, most small guys don't have enough life experience to understand women full stop, so they only know what they read and hear online, and that's a terrible place to judge humans from. I mean most well hung guys don't understand women full stop, but they'll at least get laid before it goes to pot. Truth is that women are just people, and people vary. Some women are obsessed with size, some aren't. So it's either play the numbers and put in the time, or stagnate. I was an unsuccessful fuck for a long time before I met my partner. I'd overthink, obsess over everything and nothing, tiring myself out mentally before I even got to the sex. By that point it was already over in my head. But once I was in a real relationship where we practised and experimented together I became a lot more aware of what I was capable of. Sex is like anything in life, it takes practice. Some guys are genetically suited to certain sports, but it doesn't mean it's exclusively their sport. If myself now was speaking to myself before I met my girlfriend, I'd never have believed that it was possible to not only find love but to actually be happy. It was a pipe dream until it happened. It's out there waiting to be found, but if you're not looking for it, it definitely won't come knocking.

The truth is, it's a numbers game. It's just a case of whether you can survive the process. For every 8-9 that say it's a deal-breaker, there's one who doesn't care. But 4-5-6-7 brutal rejections can be too much for a guy. If you really want to play the numbers, then put your size in your profile. That way you can sift through the size queens and women who think talking about size is in poor taste and wait out for the girls who aren't fussed. It'd save a lot of hassle and pain. And I've seen it time and time again with lads in here, they do meet girls who don't care, they're more common than we're led to believe. If I was dating again, that's what I'd do, I'd tell them from the beginning so there's no pressure with the reveal. Personally I think the reveal is a major factor of all failures when dating with SPS, it can be unbelievably overwhelming and in some cases an out of body experience, except you're stuck in your body and it's all fucking consuming. But nothing will ever change unless you take control, which I know is easier said than done, but what's the alternative? Except more of the same....

Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, they're all the same. 😂

She said that shit to hurt you, plain and simple. Women know it's the one thing we overthink about and when they're upset and feeling weak some women like to see if it hurts us. I'd stop wasting your time worrying about your size and start building your confidence back up with logical thinking rather than irrational thinking which seems to go hand in hand with size issues. You are well above average, and she knew it. The bucket of insecurities was filled one drop at a time, so empty it one drop at a time and work towards sanity. I'd kill for your stats

True 😁

I think you're giving it too much credit, it's effectiveness lies in its simplicity. Truth is perception in our world, actual truth is irrelevant. At this point a penis size joke is about as easy as you can get, it's unbelievably broad.

Let's be honest, nobody is creating any hierarchy in the patriarchal phallocracy, it's just a simple case of dick size being the easiest and oldest perception trick to abuse, which it's why flaccid size is usually the target rather than erect. I'm bigger to look at, so I'm better. I know plenty of big guys who are total fuck ups regardless of size, in and out of the bedroom. But I completely agree about 'friends' using it against you, I'd be flat out lying if I said that wasn't true.

@Toosmallforcomfort Yeh, you'd think Trump was elected as our Prime Minister as well the way people reacted. I'm A-political for a reason and that reason is that both sides of every election are eating from the same table. And every election, without fail, like lambs to the slaughter, the so called intelligent people abandon their standards of not listening to liars and pick a fucking side. Mind-boggling

😂 I thought as much