heroinism

I'm 15, been depressed and suicidal since 12. I live in a physically and mentally abusive family where the women have almost no rights and no say in anything (Chinese "tradition"), especially when I'm the youngest I get the most humiliation and underestimation of all. That so, I've always tried to prove them I'm not worthless and vain by achieving high in state examinations. They weren't moved and started despising me more, telling me that those are easy tests and I'm more stupid than a dog, that they shouldn't have kept me and should have adopted a dog instead cause it's smarter and more useful. Their words do bring me down, because I have no friends to confide in and to support me. I remember those days when I fought back and got chased around the house with a knife by my brother, he's punched me many times and my father loves tramping on my head. I couldn't get help from the teachers, because they also use corporal punishment on their children, although lighter but still it's something normal where I live. I just want to get out the house, but I haven't got any money. And college? They're not even willing to pay for it, 50% scholarships can't do anything. The prospect of being here forever, getting arranged marriage just for the sake that they could get money from the husband, and scrubbing shit off their asses till they died makes me want to commit suicide all the more.