Cade

I'm scared. My mood swings are worse to the point where I'm thinking of suicide and then 3 hours later I'm creating a life plan (and vice versa). I recently realized I'm gay but I can't come out because my boss/landlord is one hell of a biggot. My dad kicked me out back in August because his girlfriend is something special and decides to take it out on me. And that was only after he told me I wasn't allowed downstairs without his permission. Made it so I had to ask for permission to eat or even leave the house. I'm living in my best friend's parents' basement right now. Each time I try to talk about how I feel I get 'stop' or told how much stress they're under. But I just want to sleep. I don't want to wake up. I'm so tired of living. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in 2 months. I have no career prospects (I'm a waitres). I wouldn't mind doing IT but my ADD makes it difficult to go back to school. I've tried everything in the book but it never sticks. And what's the point anyway if I'm just gonna fail? I'm already 30k in debt. And now this election (US). I'm just so tired.