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Lodz last won the day on February 3

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About Lodz

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  1. @Small stretching doesn't negatively or positively impact girth. It stretches the tunica, which is what the erectile tissue fills up, like water fills a water balloon. When pulled on, the tunica lengthens. When erect to the max, the tunica can be stretched girthwise. Tbat's what pumping and jelqing do. There are websites with tons of info on that stuff. Learn up before trying any of that or you can hurt yourself, have difficulties gettfing hard, and make it even smaller.
  2. Yeah, a stretcher is different than stuffing a sock.
  3. Faking a bulge makes me feel like a liar, and i am trying to live an honest lifestyle. I realized the lie and the hiding is more isolating and saddening than just being my authentic small self.
  4. Having a small dick sucks, but only as much as we let it. Loneliness will hurt you much more. That's my opinion. I actually had some really good luck finding women interested in cuckolding me, but most of them had serious issues. It reinforced my feelings of inferiority, but it made it into a fun novel thing that i could be an essential part of. And it helped me accept myself as a small man with a small dick. Yeah, he was fucking her better than i ever could, but they were doing it for MY arousal. I was an essential part of their very exciting sexual experience. It worked for me. But it's definitely not for everyone.
  5. @jackbolin have you heard of EMDR? My therapist introduced me to it, and it has actually healed my penis-related ptsd to a large extent.
  6. Oh man. The sock. Ive stuffed socks before but not in a speedo. I think you're lucky it fell out because it would have been obvious through a wet speedo that it was a foreign object. I've also used one of these: http://www.fishpond.com/Health/Perfect-Fit-Bull-Bag-38cm-Ball-Stretcher-Black/0854854005175?utm_source=googleps&utm_medium=ps&utm_campaign=US&gclid=Cj0KEQjwk-jGBRCbxoPLld_bp-IBEiQAgJaftaEyJWa2opCmYCX8Ojqyao_Bw0xaLRXkzQbt8MDqed8aAvKW8P8HAQ
  7. I got walked out on after the reveal a few times. So I started disclosing my size before it got to that moment. Even so, i still got, "wow you really are small" and one time when a girl was feeljng me up and couldn't find it, "jesus, how small ARE you??" But in that last case it was hot, because she was humiliating me for my pleasure as well as her own. Fetishizing it helped me deal with the reality of my inadequacy.
  8. I've had that type of experience as well. I was 21, travelling in south america (guyana) and was staying in a native village in the interior. It is customary there to bathe twice a day. In fact it is offensive if you don't. and the only place to bathe is the river. Being young and cute and new and foreign, and (to them) rich, i got a lot of attention from the young single girls who see visitors like me as a possible ticket out of a life of poverty. I spotted a few of them watching and giggling while i was naked getting outnof the river, where i had prayed i'd have some privacy. Later having dinner, i heard a couple of these very pretty girls talking in guyanese creole (an english-based caribbean dialect), and i couldn't understand much, but i heard the words "river" and "small" followed by giggling. It didn't seem to diminish their interest in me though. But it sure did strike a blow to my ego.
  9. I even feel self conscious about my size in winter clothes though. I am small in almost every conceivable way. Short, narrow build, hands, feet. Cute boyish face even though i'm 38. Only things on me that are big are my butt and my nose.
  10. @Pax man you said it! The worst for me is swimming. Particularly getting out of the pool when my wet trunks cling, leaving little to the imagination until i pull them loose. And ive noticed damn near every other guy has some sort of bulge in swim trunks even when dry. Ive got nothing there without at least a semi.
  11. Yeah, sexual domination is NOT the same as actual social dynamics!! LOL
  12. I would, YOTH. I would. 😁 but no way do i look down on anyone because of their weight or appearance. I like a wide varity of body types but i very much prefer bigger girls. Funny, considering how small-all-over i am, but it's true. I also kind of worship the female form, sexually. I am entirely submissive in my deepest fantasies. And i've put women on a pedestal in other unhealthy ways as well. I can understand how having someone beneath you can feel great though. It's just next to impossible for me to get there mentally.
  13. @YahwehOrTheHighway i feel you about the pregnant wife situation. Our second kid is 5 months old now and i just got a hand job a week ago. First sexual contact since July, and it was bleak before that too. And i also feel you about the preying on fat girls with low self esteem bit. I am actually very attracted to thicker women, so it's not much of a stretch for me, but i have definitely sought out those with self esteem issues so i could feel like the prize.
  14. So, needless to say, swimsuit pics do nothing for me, like they did in my teens.
  15. @Pax i think there is a huge difference between jerking it to swimsuit pics and hardcore porn. The difference is intensity. Like chewing coca leaves for a light buzz vs doing lines of blow or smoking crack. For a long time i could only get off if i was fantasizing about cuckolding or sph. I even broke up with a great girl to pursue that lifestyle with a messed up little skank. I couldn't get it up for the great one. But the skank just had to snicker about my size or start talking about her ex's big dick and i was rock hard. It's super triggering to even talk about it. Two cuckolding relationships later, and after countless hookups with dominant men, I sought help from a therapist, and i am in sex addicts anonymous. I'm in a "normal" relationship now, have two kids, and a life many envy. I still have a small dick though. I still feel like i'm a boy and not a man. And sometimes i still feel helpless, like i have to go act out these morbid fantasies. A powerful part of me believes it's who i truly am. But it's not. And if i can make it through today, that's enough. I can work on tomorrow tomorrow.