Lodz

Gay orgies. I was the submissive suckboy for hung tops, basically. Sorry to be graphic.

Your mindset is affecting you 10 times more than your dick size or your height. Women like tall men and they like big dicks, but insecurity will send them running regardless. I am 5'6 and have a not quite 4" dick. When i was single, i feared that i couldn't get women to like me because of those facts about me. But i faced the fear and put myself out there and i was very wrong. Yeah, there are women who won't look at me twice because of my height, and yeah there are women who i never heard from again after disclosing my dick size, but guess what. There were women who thought i was sexy and loved how i was in bed. Women who fell in love with me and vice versa. Women whose hearts i broke because i felt too insecure to put myself fully into a relationship for fear of always being too small. That fear never went away, but i am married with kids now, because i faced the fear and had some faith that i am worthy.

File under: things I cannot change What good does it do any of us to dwell on this?

@Nic77 as a bi guy who is older than you and has also dealt with size issues, I can tell you that there are plenty of men out there who prefer a partner with a small dick. There are plenty of options, particularly if you fancy yourself a bottom. Some men like small dicks because they want to feel superior. Others because they just like how smaller one's feel, and can fit the whole thing in their mouth, hands, etc. It's definitely true that most gay men prefer bigger, but don't let that statistic alone drive you into a pit of despair. You can have a happy and fulfilling life, and sex life, as a poorly endowed gay man.

I'm curious what counts as small in africa. I've seen enough penises to know that every race has small ones and big ones, but that there is some truth to the racial stereotypes about size. I once had a chance to visit burkina faso with a friend who's from there. He said girls there would love me (guess cuz i'm foreign and i'm cute enough), but i was scared how they'd react to my size. The trip never happened for unrelated reasons. Where in Africa are you from @bless?

I'm 5'6 with a small dick so 5'6 with a big dick sounds fucking great. Next question.

Full body or extra small?

That completely makes sense. Perhaps one day i'll have the courage to share my traumatic sps events here.

@therebetruth right. It's a catch 22.

I thinkbyou overestimate how much people look at bulges and how they interpret them. I am a quasi-bisexual man who is obsessed with big dicks and dick size in gwneral, and i do not go around checking out bulges. I guess i assume any bulge i do see is not necessarily indicative of how much a guy is packing. And i don't interpret no bulge to mean anything other than, he's not hard right now. Lol. Meanwhile, i've been able to get away with having an erection in sweatpants and nobody noticed. Not to dismiss your issue. We all have our neuroses and yours is totally valid.

^ that's me too. The disappearing penis.

Wel those morning shows are the dumbest of the dumb, of course, but yeah. Small penis shaming is so mainstream, it's not even recognized as abusive. Crude and in poor taste, but not abusive. I did feel comfortable talking about my size with my ex, and even poking fun at myself about it, which was really liberating at times. The fact that she acknowledged my size and my issues around it, and accepted me, was very healing and nurturing. Most women, including my wife, have seemed to be in denial about my size and avoided the topic at all costs. Minimizing it ("you're not that small", "i've seen smaller") to outright lying ("i think you're average", "size isn't important", "you're the perfect size for me"), to the most annoying thing ever, changing the topic to try to soothe me ("but you're so cute and sweet and smart, you've got so much more going for you than just having a big dick.") Maybe when i was in my teens, that stuff made me feel a little better, but i'm grown and i know what's what, and i want people to be real with me, and be able to be real with other people. Not just about dick size. But if i can't find the courage to be open with the world about my size, i wish i could at least have an open compassionate partner to be vulnerable and honest with.

I think one of the most toxic things, for me, about SPS, is feeling like I have to hide the fact that I'm small, and even lie about it. This was more of an issue when I was younger and size was more of a topic in social circles. But it still comes up, and I still act as if I'm not one of the poor unfortunates everyone seems to enjoy laughing at. It's just a matter of course at this point. You don't offer any info, and you lie if asked directly. I guess I don't have anything particularly constructive to say. But part of me wishes it was socially acceptable to admit to being small. There would be more ability for us to deal with the issues we have around it, and be seen as human beings and not jokes.

I think it's normal to feel some lust for others, including exes, even when you're in a satisfying relationship. Monogamy is a social construct and not all the way in line with human nature. If you need a partner who never has fantasies about anyone else, you're destined for loneliness and disappointment. But if those fantasies become uncontrollable, then that's going to lead to frustration and maybe cheating. I've been on both sides of that fence and it wasn't the end of the world, but there can be a lot of pain there.

I think there are two types of good sex, generally speaking. One type is an intense gratification of lust, and the other is about the intimate romantic connection. I think @MrsA is saying she has the second type of good sex with her husband, but that she misses the first type, which she had with former lovers. I think some people need both, but many only need the intimate kind, particularly if they haven't been exposed to the intense "naughty" kind before pairing off for eternity. MrsA might be struggling to determine which she is.

No, i'm not even a heavy guy tbh. 5'6 150. I just have a "generous" pubic pad. Meh.

I have a 1.25" fat pad and i'm not even overweight. I have a hint of a belly, but i just weigh 150. guess i just store more fat there than most guys. Which is a shame because it makes my already tiny dick look even smaller.

I haven't measured since i stopped using the bathmate and phallosan in january, but i know i lost the lion's share of my gains, so i think i'm back at my starting stats, which were: Bpel: 3.9 Nbpel: 2.6 Mseg: 3.5 Nbpfl: 0 - 1.1 (innie from turtling about half the time) Msfg: 2.4 Going to start using the bathmate again next week and see what happens. I was up to 4x4 and probably 4x4.5 immediately after pumping. Hopefully it won't take too long to get back to that.

Hi there @LoganBlake2121! It's refreshing to see a guy man here. I am bi, but straight-leaning, and i'm 39. Believe it or not, there are men out there who prefer guys with smaller dicks. Some of the more dominant guys like to be the bigger one. And some just don't plain care. If you have feelings for this guy, you owe it to yourself to take a chance on him! He might think your size is perfect. You have no way if knowing. In my life, I've only had lustful sexual encounters with men, and never had serious feelings for one, so i was never that worried about what they thought of my size. But with women, it's a different story. I was paralyzed with fear of being naked in front of women i found attractive when i was your age. Men liked my body but i told myself that women couldn't. They all want big manly guys with big (or at least average size) dicks. And i was wrong about that, but it took me years to get the courage to face my fear.

@MrsA I just meant be honest with yourself about what you need to be happy and fulfilled. If his size is disappointing but you can live with it, do that. If part of you will always want a bigger man and you might cheat on him down the road, end it now before it's too late. At 31 hopefully you know enough about yourself that you can analyze yourself realistically. It can be hard to be honest with yourself though.

My advice (and like all advice, easier said than done) would be to focus on improving your health, stick to a diet and exercise regimen strictly for the improved health, and not focus so much on how it affects your penis. It could be 25 lbs before your dick looks different anyways. But being in shape improves how your mind and emotions work, and that is where the root of your problem is in the first place.

Porn is highly addictive. I've had my bouts with it. For me, it tends to lead to seeking out the real thing, which is even scarier. But porn can numb you and completely warp your view of what sex is and should be. You're seeing huge cocks all the time, so of course when you see your own perfectly normal junk, you feel inadequate. Even if you know on a logical level that those guys are abnormal, your brain has categorized them as normal and yourself as too small. Cut with the porn and you'll be halfway there.

Well I am one of those guys, and suicide has never seemed like a realistic option for me. So I'm grateful for that. But you know what you need to do. It's easier said than done. So you need encouragement and motivation. There are plenty of resources and programs for that.

First of all, please put [TRIGGER ALERT] in the subject line. Reading stuff like this can be very triggering for us smaller guys, some of whom may be borderline suicidal. That said, i can actually relate. I've had my own issues being with women who aren't exactly what i want, physically, sexually, etc. It's hard to know what to do when you really have feelings for the person. The best advice i can give you is DON'T GET PREGNANT. LOL. But really you need to search your soul... not the soul you think you should have, but who you really are, flaws and all, and find out how important size is to you really, how that fact is affecting and will continue to affect your marriage, and what you can do about it short of leaving him.

Of course you get bigger harder boners when you haven't been draining it all day. Let me guess... you're also watching a lot of porn?