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fraggie

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About fraggie

  • Birthday 03/15/1965

Profile Information

  • Biography
    im a mother of 2 boys, married 20 years to an alcoholic, sigh. been diagnosed mdd. with psycosis.

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  • Location
    in pandhandle of texas
  • Interests
    writing poems, reading , journalilng
  • Occupation
    disabled

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  1. fraggie

    manic?

    wow i have NOT been able to control my need to be creative!!! i go to micheals and buy just stuff so i can come home and "make something". But by the time im home, im in the mood to write or read. So i get a book. that doesnt d o it so i get my sketch books out. geez i tire myself out talking about this. does anybody else experience this? It would be really nice to know if somebody does, that way i wont feel so weird. thanks for reading!! fraggie
  2. fraggie

    life sucks

    ty sesed im cycling so much cant even get on here, go next for a med change so might not b on much til then k
  3. fraggie

    life sucks

    life really does suck. thats todays day in a nutshell.
  4. fraggie

    let today begin

    well, today has begun and so far its been ok mentally. I get leary when things go so good lol. heck i even cleaned the house for the first time in a long time. but i wll crash sometime in hte near future. hubby gave me money for gas *and we live paycheck to paycheck* and i cannot believe it but i went and got a tattoo!!!!!!!!! how dumb could i be??? he was NOT happy with me. now one of our cars has to sit out of gas coz i was feeling so good and just blew the gas off. my caseworker comes wed. i havent slept in a while, shes gonna freak when she sees me. oh well. does this sound more like bipolar or mdd.? i dont know. i just know my mood swings are getting out of control. sometimees i ffeel almost high before i crash and burn after a few days. even on medication. well, enough rambling.
  5. fraggie

    untitled

    i dont even know what to name this one. went to church today and it was good. i get all built up, and feel like i can actually make it.....then, bam. why the hell do i keep bottoming out? i cut again today just to feeel better. my scars are embarrassing but its my way of dealing. my alcoholic husband always wants me to have a drink with him. im so tempted to get off all psych meds and drink again. see, i had to have my neck rebuilt and have a spinal cord injury so im in constant pain and on pain meds along with psych meds. im just rambling. gonna go read some more blogs. bye for now
  6. fraggie

    depression

    what is depression? is it when you lose your desire is is when you want to isolate so bad depression takes me to a dark place it hurts, its lonely,its cold i watch others in pain it hurts me too the meds help but i feel it must come from me meds are NOT me i need ME to overcome. at least im not alone in this painful illness God help us all specially the ones who are ready to go/COLOR]
  7. fraggie

    no name

    ty for the replies, no i dont think fixed will ever happen. and the thing u saed about mostly people need a sympathhetic ear really hit home. thanks yall
  8. fraggie

    no name

    people pass them everyday without knowing a thing about them why cant we stop and say we care, we will help them? when i help others my eyes are off me but its hard to try to heal andddd help others all at once. gosh i wanna help somebody but i cant even get myself well God please help me to see who needs the words i can tell
  9. sorry sedsed i was trying to be funny and l ight hearted
  10. oh and im gonna put m&m's in alphabetical order
  11. fraggie

    poem

    today is a good day how long will it stay that way? dont worry about that just enjoy the feeling ive got be honest with myself it doesnt last forever but on days like this i ought prepare myself euphoria feels so good things just fall into place tomorrow might never come but today is a good place i know all is well i know it changes daily what is so wrong with enjoying no hell nothing is wrong, just ideas mainly positive talk helps a mind get through but on bad days it does no good today i choose to write what i do tomorrow i will wonder , was this really you? this is a safe place i thank you for haveing it a place to voice feelings and thoughts without being told to shut up thanks for the site thanks for the patience never know who may need the life being shared by all who know they make sense
  12. just reading lots of posts on here today, going to do some cleaning, and might sit in the sun for a bit. plan to write more poems in my blog, but most of all im trying to stay out of trouble today lol ive got the all itchy feeling inside and i usually do something stupid when that feeling comes . yall have a good day
  13. im reading a book called FEELING GOOD its cbt on your own, but seriously unless your extremely motivated, a therapist would help. I cant be my own therapist coz im not to the point to be objective. Confuzed im curious how your coming along
  14. fraggie

    good day

    today is a good day, but mornings usually are. no group today or any appts so gotta find something to do lol. its on these good days that i have to watch what i do. usually i do something totally crazy. last week my hubby gave me gas money, instead i got a tattoo. he was not happy, but i was. think ill read alot on here and stay out of trouble today . yall are great people!
  15. fraggie

    poems help me cope

    ty, yes im in counseling and go to groups 3 times a week, so i am really trying to beat this
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