Natalie

Hi Paula- I am sorry and worried to hear about your changes. However, you shouldn't just stop taking your medications on your own. Some need to be decreased over time because stopping all of the sudden can be harmful (or at least make you feel worse). Please call the doctor who prescribed the med and ask him her to help.

Hi Samfh- You seem to "taking stock" of all of the important aspects of your life. Your career, your marriage, your status as a parent, etc. This is not an uncommon process for people in their late 30s/early 40s. As part of this train of thought, it's easy to fall into the "what if" trap... what if I had married someone else, what if I had chosen a different profession, etc. The problem is that you can "what if" yourself to death, and it doesn't really get you anywhere. So, I think a more productive way to take stock of your life is to direct your vision forward (rather than backward). If things are not the way you want them to be, then you need to figure out some ways to change them. Making some short and long term goals will allow you to move forward. Or, if you don't want to change things, then you need to figure out some strategies to use to change the way you think about your life (some thought changing and acceptance techniques; see our self-help toolbox article about cognitive techniques for examples). I also wonder if some of your current thoughts are being colored by depressive and/or anxious thoughts. These thoughts may not be an accurate reflection of reality (i.e., negative and unrealistic thoughts can make you feel really crummy). You may also benefit from some psychotherapy in order to deal with those aspects of your life.

Hi Flipside- Do you live with your mother currently, or are you somewhere else? It sounds like she has a long standing behavior pattern of not treating you the way you would like her to. I assume also that this behavior will not change, despite your worry and concern. So, the best you can do is to change how you react to and think about her. Could we have some more details about this relationship?

Hi Lifeless- Hang in there... it sounds like you are having a rough time. It can take 2-3 weeks for antidepressants to work. In addition, this particular antidep. may need tweaking (increased dose) before it does what you need it to do. In the meantime, are there other anti-anxiety strategies that you can use to get you through this rough spell?

Hi Unhappy Newlywed- I think these sorts of transitions are totally normal. There is a HUGE shift from dating someone, to living with them. There is even a large transition from living with someone to being married to them, in my opinion. One of the things that has to occur in a marriage is negotiation (perhaps you need to find something else to do when he watches a game you are not interested in) and acceptance (there will be things that you do together as well as apart). Can you talk to him about the situation now that a bit of time has passed? You may also need to respect the idea that perhaps he wasn't mad, and that sometimes behavior happens for reasons other than what we assume... we are not very good mind readers.

You are all correct. Many women do enjoy roleplays of rape. However, there are some that do not. So, it's best (as with other forms of sexual behavior with a partner) to keep lines of communication open before, during, and after the role play. Making sure that everyone is getting their needs met is really important, as is checking in to ensure that no one is uncomfortable, upset, or doing something against their will.

I hear you Paula- We all have preferred ways of learning. In fact, I am the opposite- I do better reading something first. Unfortunately, I don't have time to record a blog right now... I wear many different hats here at this website, and I can't fit it in. Great idea, though. I can try to explain things in different ways, though, if that helps. Did what I said about the meds make sense?

Hi Scared- Please don't start dabbling in prescription medication to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings. That will only cloud your judgment and make things worse. Are you still seeing a therapist? Have you been working on dealing with these troubling thoughts?

Hi Angel09- Compulsive overeating is not an uncommon problem- you are not alone. I would suggest treating the eating as a problem type behavior and going to see a mental health professional that specializes in treating eating disorders from a cognitive behavioral perspective. No, you don't have anorexia... but this type of therapist could still help you. Problematic eating behavior is problematic eating behavior regardless of it's exact form. Therapy can help, via a combination of cognitive (thought) interventions (unhelpful thoughts are often the trigger for overeating) and behavioral interventions.

Hi Cnahbbhy9- We can't offer you a definitive diagnosis in this type of forum... however, your posts suggest that you may be dealing with psychotic thought processes. Most of the time, if they are severe, you are more likely to be diagnosed with a psychotic type disorder (such as schizophrenia) rather than bipolar disorder. I strongly suggest that you go to a mental health professional for an in-person assessment, as that is the best (most thorough) way to get a handle on what you are dealing with.

Mrsdz- I echo everyone else's sentiments... please don't take medication that is not prescribed for you. I know it is very tempting because you are desperate for relief. I am so sorry that you had such a crummy time in the ER. I know that wasn't helpful. In terms of finding help sooner.... do you have insurance? I was unclear from your other post if that was an issue for you.

Hi Paula- I'll try to answer some of your questions. First, you are absolutely correct about the medications. Usually if someone has several different issues, there is no one magic bullet that will fix everything. BOO. Sometimes, even if someone has one disorder, they still may need multiple meds to fix it. To use depression as an example... often depression can be helped by tinkering with someone's neurotransmitters (basically chemicals in the brain that help the cells function and send messages to each other). The problem is that there isn't just one neurotransmitter that can get out of whack when someone is depressed. We have several different neurotransmitters working in different parts of our brains. So, the person may need more than one drug to hit the neurotransmitters. Also, there is no way to tell (right now) if (and which) neurotransmitters are out of whack... so, that's why the medication process is experimenting and trial and error. Frustrating and draining, I know. You also raise another point... sometimes the meds used for psychiatric conditions cause other issues. All medications have some side effects-it's just the pros/cons that you have to weigh when you take them. It's an individual decision about whether you can tolerate the side effects that come with the drug. I'll write more another time about why people develop disorders.

Hi 1confused12 and Mellowcity- Welcome to the community. It would be great if when you introduce yourselves more completely, to post in the sections that are relevant to your issues of concern. So, Mellowcity, you could post in the PTSD area, for example. That way, more people will be able to read about you and respond to you... You both are currently posting in the "feedback" section, which doesn't always get a lot of traffic. Don't want you to get lost in the shuffle....

Hi Beyondreach- It's great to hear that you're doing well. You have obviously done some hard work to get to this point. Congrats! I want to point out that a goal with regard to dealing with anxiety should not be "to have no anxiety." We all need some anxiety, or nothing would get done and we would sit around like lumps! Research studies show that we need moderate amounts of anxiety to get us motivated, focused, and ready to do what we need to do. So, anxiety will always be with you... just as it is for everyone else. You just need to focus on keeping the anxiety in moderation and constructive, rather than excessive and destructive.

Ob1one- You seem to have found a physical way to express your feelings, so I think adding a mental component is really important. A mental practice might help to keep your anger "resting state" lower... so that you are less able to act out when other people bother you. Meditation shouldn't be harmful to you- the only thing negative I have heard with regard to this practice is that some people who are prone to anxiety don't like the sensation of clearing away all thoughts, etc. Some forms of meditation are not spiritually based, so if that is not appealing, you could always choose a different form of this practice. If meditation doesn't work or if it's not your thing, there are other mental practices you could try, such as visualization, deep breathing, etc. See our stress management article for more suggestions.