Jump to content
Mental Support Community

nightfalls

Members
  • Posts

    241
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

nightfalls last won the day on August 12 2009

nightfalls had the most liked content!

About nightfalls

  • Birthday 03/23/1979

nightfalls's Achievements

Senior Member

Senior Member (4/4)

2

Reputation

  1. thanks Jj wish I could even just type it but not tonight, I started to but I just don't feel up to it. Not a good day. I'd like to just say STOP! to all of it but there is no point because it will not stop, this is life I just don't know how to cope with it all, all the time. thanks for posting back though Jj
  2. So I am not seeing any Dr's now or anyone to chat with about things, it sort of really sucks because there is just nothing I can do in these moments I can't think ok I'll bring it up next week, I really just chickened out of all of it, I can't take the meds I was given, or chat with them about it, even coming here is an anxiety hell of panic and fear and it sucks and I'm alone with all the hardness of it, I'm trying to say it will get better, have hope, but tonight it is hard. I want things to be better but I do think I need help but I'm to afraid to talk. just would like some support. I am trying really hard.
  3. Hi Jane, I don't have much to offer in advice but I wanted to send a hand of support to you because I understand and deal with a similar situation, it was hard to read David O's 4 points about the predictors I think I recognise all of them and even Allen's question why stay? for me I'm just stuck, it's like a island in my life every direction seems hard, I hope you are able to find a sunrise and things work out for either the two of you or for you, hope things will be well.
  4. Hi Donna and others, Sorry for your struggles, ED's of any type are hard. Seems to be such a pull in all directions all the time. I struggle and it really is all for nothing, I know it just hurts but at the same time it is a pull. I can't really stop in the situations that I'm in. I am not sure what to do with all the thoughts about this. I keep to a weight that I have to be, I think of less everyday. I am on a line that I try to say is ok to myself. I tell myself it is all ok and it is OK. BUT it is a LINE. that I just keep walking on. I think to ask for some help, but I am not underweight, I keep my weight at the low point of where a need to be but I want less, I feel the pull for less, I just lost a bit but I start to feel not well and get scard, I HATE THIS but I need it.
  5. Hi Allan, I do try this alot and I do come up with good eg. like helping out a stranger in the rain packing boxes after work. or walking kids to school to help the other parents out that are working. offering to work extra to help out when it is too busy. I try really hard, all the time. I know this. I think it is my mood thing, mabe I just don't like me for whatever reason, I feel like I'm mad and hurting and sad and empty like I'm not who I am I am someone else, when I sit alone I don't like me and I get all the thoughts that come with that regardles of the good I've done. This is really frustrating, I am my worst enemy especially when down. It is hard to see your own pattern outwardly but feel it differently. Mabe that is where the depression is kicking me down.
  6. I have a hard time understanding why DR.'s that are perscribing meds like a SSRI leave the choice to the patient weather they want to take it or not. I guess I can understand the idea of letting the patient have a say but at the same time how can I be my own DR? I don't think I always fully understand what is needed to do, I sometimes see it, but mostly all I see is scary stuff. I focus on all the bad that "could" happen and then I'm frozen and can't take anything, I continue to suffer, I don't make the progress mabe I could have. I think about it now wondering if I had just taken the meds 4 years ago the same ones I keep getting told I "could" take IF I wanted to maybe I would feel better and not keep having these episodes. I just wish that it was more clear in the moment. Like if he said, You should take this ... and it will help and if not we will try ... and so on. Not If you feel like it we can try this ... but it really is up to you... I have not gone to med school I don't think I should have this say. I would not offer myself a med for blood pressure or a ear infection why is this different. I see a MD he says take this, I take it, I feel better I don't question it. If ever a med is optional I will always opt out weather I see it or not I will alway run the other way. I guess this is just a unfortunate realization of myself.
  7. Hi Goose, Sorry to read that things were not so good, and that stuff is alot to deal with. I was just thinking about the things I've done to try and attack my anxiety. My main thing is the social stuff, I really do just shake me head at how hard it is to get through this and I know it feels so hard. I'm really kinda jumping in big time in my life, I just went back to work after years of not working and OMG it has been rediculous anxiety sometimes I think it will never lessen and this is it I feel overwhelmed and stressed panicky and all the physical stuff and I am really tired of it, but I am doing it and I keep telling myself this everyday I am doing it, I just gotta do it. I think that telling myself that it may always be hard for me makes me understand that this is just me, and I have to learn to be ok with that. If I can learn to be ok with the fact that social stuff is hard mabe I can take the pressure to be perfect in social settings away and therfore mabe it can be not so scary because I'm ok with me not being good at it.... a bit of a ramble but I'm lending my shoulder to lean on. please take care:o
  8. HI say again, THANK YOU! I am not sure what else to say, you moved me, I am all sappy rate now. I've had a hard time latley so it was nice to see this post. thanks for being here. I needed that.
  9. Hi malign, that is why I've tryed to come here I have a hard time in person talking about stuff so I try to here but I tend to get spooked out about talking this way so it is a hard thing for me, mscat, yes I've though that this physical stuff to but some is my fault, when I get upset I tend to take it out on me skipping meals and trying to loose weight its so stupid but I can't help it, I've lost some weight but I get scard of it too, and I don't know what to say to a Dr about this so I've put it off. but you are right about this contributing factors, your dr. sounds good and understanding. How do you just come out and say this to a dr. though?
  10. Hi allan, I try to remind myself this all the time, I know this, but I just hate that I can't shake it, I'm overwhelmed but it seems I'm always overwhelmed, why can't I find a way not to feel that it is just me, I know it is not, but I still feel that things happen to me on purpose, that I'm not suppose to find a way better. I just want to give up and say fine so be it, things should not be a challenge always, and maybe it is not, maybe it is my perspective, and that is why I wonder what is going on with me. I can't I stop this, and no matter what I do it is all the same at the end of the day. I know I am sliding but I don't want to reach out either, because I am frustrated with this.
  11. nightfalls

    control

    I am so tired of controling all the ways that help me to feel better, I can't stand it. I just watch other people do as they see fit, be as they see ok all the while I mind myself, control myself, smile, nod, do as I should, not say what I want to say or be who I want to be. The things I'd want to do bother others, If I was to si again it would be to go backwards three years, for now I am just stuck.
  12. Thanks confuzzed! That is a nice post, very positive and motivation. I need to reminde myself this stuff, interesting how it can become forgotten so quickly when my mood go's low. I have made so many changes good things, but wow I found it hard and when you get tired and worn down you feel the emotions more I think. anyways thanks for the cheer of support.
  13. Sometimes you can see the road you are walking on knowing that you have walked this same path before and knowing the feelings are the same but yet you can't do anything different, I think about calling to chat to someone but then I say why bother all is the same, I need to ride it out, I'm kinda tired though not that it matters too much I flip around enough, but tonight I don't feel to well and I just think DAM! I hate this stuff. I don't want to go lower, but I can't feel to think to stop it. It has to either stop or not on its own. and really that is life and all within it.
  14. Hi goose, I do think that my anxiety and stress levels make my immune weaker in the last bit of 2 years a stressful time for me I have had 3 hard sick times to get through all lasting 2-3 months each all happening directly after a major sinario I barely coped with. I think my constant anxiety makes me weaker, I feel weak and tired and so it makes sence. Mabe my body just wants me to lie down and rest and this is how it makes it happen who knows? I think the constant stress hormone, what is that one cortisol or something actually lowers the immune system I might be wrong but seems to happen to me though. Anyway thats all I can offer,I wish for all of us a stressfree day!
  15. Hi Allan Thanks for the welcome back it has been awhile you are right;) I do feel the fear of loss of control of my life and I hate that, I am afraid that the choices I make today will haunt me down the road and I don't want that. Really I just don't want to think and think so much of a topic any topic at all. So what if I can't get off the food topic? then what do I do, If I can't stop obsessing? I know we all have stress and that we all have something to deal with I do get that. I don't know why it always seems like something is off with me, like deep down I'm not ok. any thoughts?
×
×
  • Create New...