shanrucas

Its good to hear from you too.. I love this format..seems so much user friendly. Yes mom has incredible spirit...I recieved a grant that re-emburses me for someone to stay with her while I take time to myself..that has helped..sad thing June 30th was the end of grant..but should be able to renew..hopefully. I have been blessed with wonderful and supportive people from all walks of life. I coming up for air, was lost for awhile there..but coming back strong and heading the issues that are before me straight on..its tough.stiill have bad days..but I move on to the next day..learning to let go and live in the moment.

I don't know if there are many here that remember me..its been a long, long time..I popped in just to see who was around and boy..format change..when did this happen. My life has taken me on a new path..nothing really has changed other than finacially getting worse..mom is still alive..can't believe it..she is amazing, bedridden going on eleven years now..I fear that she is going to out live me! so the struggle still continues, just found new ways to cope the best that I can. I hope those who do remember me, are doing well. Namaste

I don't get a chance to log in on the site so much anymore..but still check in now and then when time allows. Before being diagnosed with bipolor disorder for many years before I was treated for depression..no one ever caught the manic episodes as they are of the rapid cycling type..so I was treated with prozac for the depression..yes I loved it...if someone were to come up and offer me a prozac it would be difficult to resist as it does have a rather rapid effect on me..puts me right it to the uphoric stage mania, and sustains longer than without..so when it was finally caught I was told I should never take prozac...and also must be wary of anti depressants..seems I am most sensitive to them..mood stablilizers are the only things that I can take. Dont know if this is true for anyone else..but it sure turned out that way for me. Good luck and I hope you find something that will work best,,it takes great patience.

I am doing as well as expected I guess considering the situation. I have no income and living off $200.00 in food stamps a month, never thought I would reach this level..but mom keeps on going, so the income is dropping I have cut back on relief caregivers as much as I dare, only spend a couple of hours out of the house during the week. So every day is a continueing day of survival. I am doing the best I can to take care of myself. Fortunately I have good support and good people that try to help when they can..this has really taken its toll on me. But on the otherside of all this I have awaken to many things and have managed with good support to let go of many trauma's that I have been caring on my shoulders and feeding and keeping alive, I have managed to put them in the past where they belong. I do have a chance at a new life and a new beginning, its work in progress, but getting there in small steps. I have met a wonderful man who supports me both emotionally and spiritually..we hope to be together soon. He loves mom and wants to help. I have learned to open my heart to new possibilites in a time of such despair..go figure. Anyway a new day, and back to the care of mom, my full time job and the love I have for her keeps me going.

By all means are animals theraputic!! Many studies have even shown this, many take dogs into nursing homes..the patients there calm and blood pressure drops as they are petting them. I love the dog whisperer,,LOL I need him to help me with my terriers. He is one of the best psycologist out there IMO not just with dogs..but people too..I love one of his episodes he did a time ago where he had the horse whisperer Perelli on his show together they were amazing.. Anyway I don't know what I would do without my animals..the always are there to calm me..the dogs make sure I get out and exercise, the horse bring me to such a calm of meditation I can't even describe..there are many types of service dogs,,not just for the physically handicapped but for emotionally as well..even dogs who can alert their owners who suffer from siezures and will alert them that they are about to have one. My mom's cat is so devoted to her and works hard to comfort her..he will even wake me up if she is experiencing extreme pain or distress..he hardly leaves her side, he even let me now of a bad UTI she was having one time. There is equine therapy too for emotionally troubled kids. The experience of being on a horse does amazing things for them..they come to life. If not ready to get a dog yet, perhaps there is something she can do..as to first help out at a shelter, help an elderly person walk their dog or something like that. But yes..animals provide so many things.. I too was an only child, but I had many animals around me all my life. I even have my rabbit, Mimzy..such a charactor and soo snuggely.

Im sorry......I bet you miss him too....I hope everything else is going ok for you Mike....

I know..dang storm anyway..and it does seem like forever...can't wait to hear how is doing..

yeah..figured they would be at ground zero today..caught what I could and walked down for a few to my own fire dept. LOl..I can identify with getting attached to lunchbox...I still can remember when I was six yrs old and my dad took me fishing out of the river where we lived and I caught my first fish with my little fishing pole...when I got home with my catch mom couldn't pry them away from me...wanted to take them to bed with me...I know..I was a bit off since an early childhood. Thanks Mike for keeping me updated when you can..I hope you have an awesome week and give those pooches a slobbery kiss for me.

Thanks Mike..just curious as to how Jedidiah was doing..didn't think I would hear from the Hotspots, in fact was rather surprised that I heard from them earlier..with tenth aniversary and all,not mention getting kids ready for school on top of it. I hadn't even advertised my fire truck when someone showed interest in it..he came today of all days 9/11, and the poor thing has not been started in 2 years...went to start her up and she purred like she was new..So she is sold and will be going to new home next weekend..got more for her than I paid. wow..something good happened..

Anyone out there? Did Jedidiah get to come to visit?

Im happy to hear you all are ok. With all the rain and flooding you have had, now you know a little what its like during winter here. lol..I live in muck boots all winter long. I am so sorry Jedidiah couldn't come, damn Irene anyway. Its good you had the day off though Mike. I am still struggling to make it to the end of the month..almost there..I have been saving all the food in the house for mom. I have to say though its good to loose the extra pounds..been combining that with short walks with the dogs..I can take quick ones before mom wakes up, just down the street and back at a very fast clip, you have to with terriers lol. I walked at 5am and then again at 3pm, this is when mom seems to sleep..takes about ten minutes now..getting quite fast.

I don't know how close all of you are in the path of Lady Irene..I hope you are all safe and sound. Im thinking of you all...let me know when you can that you are all ok.....

Im glad Mike that you think my idea for an adult daycare place is a good idea...its just in its infancy form in my mind at the moment..right now I am just trying to make it to the end of the month. I take mom next week to her awesome doc and I think I will tell them about it too..they have always stood behind me in the care of my mom and understand all to well with the frustrations I have for the system as they have to deal with it too. So I can't wait to see him, and his wife have been very good to me. I love the idea of you doing soups and stews..what a wonderful thing to prepare for the winter months. I also hope you get all the kinks worked out with your pool and hope the storm doesn't hit you hard where you are at. I will be thinking of you on that. I can't wait for you to pick up the hamburglar on Sunday..thats great. I hope that if he decided to stay with his family that he will be able to keep in contact with you to let us know how he is doing. When you see him..tell him Im giving him a great big hug! you can tell him and not have to actually do it..lol. I took my pups for a walk this evening..it wasn't fun..this neighborhood has changed so much. When I grew up here..neighbors were always kind to each other and helping each other all the time..now we have people fighting with each other..thankfully, I just close my drive way gate and it keeps me away from all that negativity. I don't know how many cars raced paced me at speeds you just don't do in this streets..I was afraid we were going to get hit by a speeding car. what idiots there are behind the wheel anymore..thinking this world has just gotten to big and in such a rush for my taste..hmmm is this a sign of old age..wish i could find a nice cabin in the woods away from it all..don't think I would mind the hermit life to much. The community feeling I grew up in just doesn't exist anymore, this makes me sad. Anyway..when you get a chance, I now you are busy..but I should would like to know how Jedidiah is doing after you pick him up. LOL..tell him to bad he is so far away, cause I sure would love to give him my fire engine..its the thought that counts. Thank you guys for keeping in touch with me..seems lately my close friends here on the coast are very busy and I don't get a chance to talk to them much. I mentioned today to one of them that did contact me..that i seem to have friends clear across the country that know more about whats going on with me and my mom than anyone here..I guess today I feeling a bit sorry for myself..but that will pass, it always does.

Thank you Mrs. Hotspot for your input, the more I think about it, the more I get encouraged by the possibilities..already thought of a name...since my mom's name is Joy, I would call it Joy's House . Thank you and Hotspot for the support you have shown me. I too was taken back by Mikes experience with the woman in his taxi...I bet he kept thinking he wished he could just slam the brakes and toss her out on her ass,,what strength not to do so.. I totally agree about everything you said Hotspot about how the system is there for people who use it correctly yet it seems it is overwhelmed with those who use it as a way just to continue their bad habits without accountability. I can't say honestly that I would disagree with you about the sterilization thought...and this is coming from a woman. I understand totally how Mrs. Hotspot would be burnt out on career working for such a system. A year! wow..hard to believe..maybe we should have an aniversary party! I am so happy to hear that the latest edition to your family is doing well, that is so terrific considering how it all started out for the poor little guy.

I was thinking what I would like to do once this journey with my mom comes to an end, I would like to open the house up as an adult daycare place, for those who are in my mom's situation. There are just going to be more elderly with pensions that will become dependant on care and that income will be stretched to its limits and then some, just with medical and caregiving costs alone. And family members are going to be faced with the same issues as I. they may end up loosing there jobs to take care of a parent or relative. There is no help out there as you know I found out.. Yes there is respite care..in a nursing home at the sweet cost of $130 per month, yes there are senior centers, but they are set up as social clubs for those seniors who are still able bodied and don't need 24 hour care. I know I probably wouldn't be able to provide day care for someone in my mom's condition, completely bedridden, but there are those that just can't be left alone, I may need to just start out small and just provide daycare for a just a couple to start with..I am going to have to research it to see what I need..Im sure somesort of business licence as well as making some improvements in the home..but there is time as mom is still planning to hang around for awhile. Mike if you see or talk to Mrs. Hotspot, tell her about thid idea and see what she thinks..I value her opinion..talk to ya later..be good at school and play nice with the other kids..