randomperson

So good to see messages from my friends on here. Hi sadgreneyes! I don't think I'll be back on for a bit.. just thought I would tell you some life stories that might help you before I go. My ex the one that is so much like the guy you see, I got weak and went back to her.. and things kept repeating over and over. Then something happened the woman I met on a dating site and cared a lot for (that gave me hope but stopped talking to me).. I mentioned her back in here somewhere. She OD and went into a coma. It was a reality check for me.. my ex was starting down this same path. It was a path I didn't want to follow. I was just tired. Ex actually wanted to visit me this Spring.. but I said no. I actually said no to what I was on here dreaming about for so long lol. Often the things you think you want in life is only a mirage for the deeper truths. What relationships or spots in life you are in, I hope these words help Take care my friend I hope you are happy or if not find happiness soon! As for my friend I saw a miracle! They said she wouldn't come off life support or get out of the coma. She has done both thanks to prayer!! She still has very severe brain damage and no one is sure how much she will heal.. it is in God's hands. But this is the second time she has inspired my life and helped me.

Hey everyone! Just wanted to say hi I'm actually doing very well!! So many stories so much time has passed. Never forgot about this place.. helped me soo very much. Have not been on in ages don't have much time to check things or be on anymore.. but I still think about people here. Hoping you all are doing well. I'm better now.. really better not just saying it.. have been for a bit! Lot of us just need time to heal deep pains.. and all those lessons I talked about before.. they were true.. just took a bit longer than I thought. Biggest insight.. the things I thought I wanted and needed to feel happy.. to feel complete.. really wasn't it at all haha. Relationships wasn't it, nor was work. My true peace came from a few things.. not giving up on the helpful things, working on getting better.. finding a break in life where things eased up and gave me a chance to heal.. My faith .. and finding solutions to things I deep down felt trapped me. So deep I didn't understand or see it myself even in here. Not sure when or if I'll have a chance to check back.. just wanted to say hi.. and let you all know how much your friendships mean to me and how I never forget the lessons I learned here!! This site and everyone on it are such blessings to people hurting so deeply words can't describe the pain.

Thank you for such a kind post. I don't come on much because things are super busy for me now. Everyone here seems has such wisdom and kindness, like a cool breeze in the summer in a way. I think that might be true what was said.. it is something to look into, why do you feel like a stranger to yourself.. is it hurt, self rejection, or is their something your afraid to open up and look inside because it is too painful. When I came here I was totally broken.. to the point I was forced to look into some dark spots I always ignored my entire life. When I peered into the abyss it scared me. Things about my past, my future and flaws about me were too much. Gave me the same feeling you have. For me it is like an onion.. you peel it back layer by layer.. tackle each problem on its own through baby steps till you have something smaller that you can deal with. I still struggle.. will likely always struggle.. but I look to my past victories to help me keep going.. keep growing. You should see who you are in us.. to us.. and how far you have came and take hope in that I know from my own life it doesn't fix the problems.. there is no quick fix to pain so deep it has become part of who you are. But I also know it does give you footing something to help to start making the long climb out of the pit. The ability to peer around the boulder that is on your shoulders. Hope.

Sorry I have not been on in ages. Perhaps I can help a little with this. Typically it is do to abuse that causes inner self doubts and it is not your fault. I want you to know that is the biggest challenge I face myself now. Self doubts reflecting on past mistakes and how others see me.. specifically focusing on negative reactions others have done to me. The challenge comes that the problem itself causes it to grow. Society typically ignores those with low self esteem. Not to cause pain as I once thought.. honest I don't know why.. but it happens. But the horrible thing is that grows the self doubt and hating yourself.. at least it does for me. I always think I wish I was different! Then I could have a normal life.. then I could be happy.. find love!!!! Here is the kicker. Happiness isn't something you can find in others. People even the most caring can change and be unpredictible. You have to first find peace within. I use my faith to help me with this. Gives me hope and shows me the love I hunger for. I want to give you some words I hope will help and maybe turn the corner for you. Every single person has dark inner demons they must deal with. You.. we feel we are broken.. broken beyond repair.. hopeless. I am hear to tell you that everyone is broken in some way. If anyone amkes you feel this way.. know beyond a doubt you ARE better than them. To often heart.. love.. caring is taken for granted. Other traits that are shallow such as beauty and aggresion are promoted instead. But kindness, love.. this is what changes the world and makes it a better place to live in.. and this is what you have above soooooo many others I have met in life. Look in the mirror and see what we se here See the beauty we see. As I recently said.. people here changed my life. I was in a very very dark place. All of you pulled me out. I went there again later when I was off the site.. not suicidal like before but I grew bitter.. filled with pain and hatred for everything. But God brought back the kindness of people here everytime I told myslef that people didn't care and I .. life was worthless. I hope the kind words of people here help you in the same way at difficult times... renews your hope and shows the bright and shining star you are in a world that needs more light.

He hasn't been on in awhile. PS he wasn't serious about what he said I realized that later. Just deeply hurting and using that post to vent.. asking for help in a way. I hope he wasn't suicidal, and hope he is ok. Please be careful about posting things others might find offensive such as negative remarks against people or other religions. All the best

We go on because the alternative is never good. We go on because the thought of healing is worth it even if at the worst it is a dream. We go on to give hope to each other and to ourselves. We go on because we have each other to lean on when we are at our weakest

I am so sorry to hear you went through this. How it must have hurt you for so many years We all get into fights say things we do not mean at times, especially as children when we are still growing not understanding life as much. You both still loved each other deeply. It wasn't your fault. For one you can't know everything that was happening at that moment, there is no way to know what either of them was thinking or the actual cause. Sometimes accidents just happen right when a certain events in our life are taking place leaving us to feel like it is our fault. The car wreck that killed my family happened coming home from a trip my mother did not want to go to. For years she blamed herself, blamed her mother for planning the trip. They had no way to know what would happen. You know your father, you know what he would say. Parents love their children. He would want you to forgive yourself. To let you know he loves you and knows you love him.

I'm ok thanks for asking. Bit more stable now that things have somewhat calmed down in my life.

I have not posted as much lately, just letting you know still thinking of everyone. Still wishing you all the best and greatful for all of our friendships.

Your not alone either. To make you feel better I am 32 and a virgin so your not the oldest haha But honestly it doesn't bother me like it did. I have a good job, friends, and own my own house now. Women are nice but being alone is not the end of the world as long as you have friends and hope.. the biggest key is hope. Know it is not you. That you are worthy of being loved. Your still plenty young. I didn't even start dating till 30.

What I hear you saying is you are looking for peace.. or at least comfort in something. Man can not find true peace in Evil. Joy maybe but it is always fleeting and normally followed by extreme pain that is caused by the evil done. The devil offers his best first God saves the best for last. I would suggest looking for answers to the questions burning inside you. Research different religions talk to a preacher. Why sell your soul if you can keep it and find inner peace and answers to some of your questions? PS you are closer to redemption than you think. Knowing one's inner self is the first step to true knowledge. You just have to step out in faith for good rather than evil. For me the Christian faith is not about acts rather, faith, grace and love. Finding God in my life saved me. Again if you do want peace read up on different faiths and beliefs talk to people you know. Do not ever think it is to late. It is never to late.

Wow what powerful positive messages. I will need to re read as it has very important lessons tucked away in many of them. Mary I want to tell you something. Some of the posts on memory regression in the past helped me. I always thought I had did that myself but wasn't sure as I was so young. Months ago I tried to go back and remember for the first time.. anything after reading some of your posts. I had blocked all memories of my family out after the car wreck. I was able to remember a faded image of my father. I confirmed details only my mother would know a jacket he wore very often that I didn't know about and she never mentioned, so it was a valid memory. Only memory I have of him... only one I have had since I did block it all away over 25 years ago. It was thanks to this site and your thread. Thank you.

As noon fast approached not knowing of the Super Hamster's note.. Murphy took Emily the charming princess who was formerly a frog, who was formerly a turtle, (who secretly always wanted to be a cat for some reason) through the winding mazes of the Dragon's caves. It was dark and moody with a slight cool breeze.. Murphy thought it was a bit romantic and the perfect place for a second date. As they moved deeper and deeper in he heard a low whipser of a gravelly voice...where is my precious... apparently he was the only one who heard this. He looked beside him.. surley she was very precious indeed.. maybe this voice was referring to her.. maybe an ex boyfriend? Murphy got a bit jealous.. never knowing this feeling before he stopped about to say something to her.. when she pointed out to him they made it they were in the Dragon's lair! He peered slowly inside not knowing what to expect thinking this was crazy.. he was supposed to kill his landlord for an oboe?? Scratching his head he realized the room was empty minus several large empty cups of Barstuck's coffee and a small chest in the corner *the dragon was on his way to the gateto meet the Super Hamster. Murphy slapped his forehead.. "what's wrong dear?" Emily seemed rightfully concerned. Murphy mumbled "Why did I go all this way.. the Dragon was right at my door..." Murphy's famous law happened to be taking its rightful place once more.. as he said this the Dragon reached the gate right at noon.

Please remember the good things about yourself. How you help others, the ones that care for you. Replace the bad thoughts with good ones when you can and do small things that you enjoy doing. I hope you find peace and your pain eases.

As it turns out Barstucks was a favorite hang out for all magical beings even and especially Murphy. In fact just as the Dragon entered the door, Murphy was sitting down to look at the map with a steaming hot moca, choco, loto latte with whip cream a dash of cinnamon with a slice of pickle stuck in the middle to add character (his personal favorite). Murphy heard a loud unimaginable noise a quickly peered up in astonishment... turns out it was his lady in waiting she happened to be lactose intolerant and all the past morphing made digestive problems 'unique' to hear. Murphy rubbed his head and chuckled inside as he was afraid the dragon had somehow caught up to him. As he asked himself "I wonder where he is?" the dragon was thinking the same exact thought at another one of the 1000's of Barstucks in fairyland. They were literally around every corner... and sometimes even up in the air. * *footnote {In fact one time years ago a giant troll (over 50 feet tall) happened to trip over a Barstucks during a leisurely stroll and fell right into another.. ended up with cream all over his face forming a white latte beard from all the special coffee spewing everywhere.. thus giving him the nickname because of his huge belly and loud laugh Santa Troll.}