weezie

Allen I am so sorry to know that your picture is with your "late dog" I am truly sorry for your loss. It is one I can very much relate to at this point in time. I am hoping to have a new dog in the next few days if I can get everything arranged with the shelter/rescue group I am working with. I too had a wonderful lab. He also finally passed away from old age, but was a truly wonderful dog. Was your Mingo a Golden? That is what he looked like in his picture. Thanks for sharing. W

I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. I think that I have read some of your posts on that here, but my memory is so sketchy that I didn't relate it to you. I can totally relate as I spent five years with my father during his Cancer battle. I literally moved back home with him and my mom off and on. It was very hard. I can also relate to the financial issues that you are facing. I too am having some financial issues due to my children moving back home the past few years and trying to take care of their family. The two things combined is a heavy burden indeed. I don't know that I have any answers for you, but I know that what you are doing for your mother is a wonderful thing. I guess my question would be, how long are you planning to do this? Have you set a limit to the amount of time that you are willing to put your own life on hold? Tough, tough questions I know. Hugs!

I would add an oldie but a goodie "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson PH.D. I don't know if this will work, but will try: http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/66/c4/8e37c0a398a0afd24f561210.L._AA300_.jpg

I am sorry to hear that you too are in a dark place. I think that the natural urge is to withdraw from contact, but I also think that it is not necessarily of help. I know that I don't really feel like "getting out there and seeing people" but I also know that I should be forcing myself to do so. I was checking out the rating scales on the site the other day and was really surprised at just how far I had let myself fall. As far as a diagnosis, it is freeing to be able to just say to someone that I have Bipolar 2. It is a part of my life that I don't normally tell people about. The stigma sucks and I hate to be treated in a different manner once people know about it. Maybe it is my own pride that is holding me back. As non functional as I can be now, I was as functional as a younger person. I suppose that I think my disease is very much hidden, but like most secrets, I would probably be surprised if I knew how many folks know about it. It is such a normal part of my maternal side of the family that in ways it can just feel all too normal. So is your dark place biological or is it situational? If you don't wish to answer, I will understand totally, but was wondering. I think that mine right now is a bit of both. I will be going along fine for part of the day and the next thing I know, I am weepy. I can't speak for others with this illness, but I know that my dog was a real coping strategy for me. The need to walk him forced me out in the world and forced me to get some exercise and when I ran across people on our walks, he was an instant conversation waiting to happen. If I needed an escape from a situation, the need to take him out could always come on urgently. I have some major trust issues and I know that you can trust a dog in a way that you can never trust a person. I think that that a dogs love and loyalty are just awesome. When I am on my own a lot, he was always company for me. On a positive note, a rescue dog that I have been working toward for several months has finally come through for me, so I know that I will soon have that type of companionship again. I know he won't be the same as or take the place of my other dog, but in time I am sure I will feel the relationship is just as special. I am supposed to get him sometime early next week. I am very excited about it. Thanks again for the response. Nice when you know that you aren't typing into a void. I am also glad to hear about your success with mood stabilizers. As far as the antidepressants go, I will say laughingly that I eat them like candy. I have a bit of ADD as well so take something for that, but my pdoc said that it was as much to fight the inertia of the depression as to work on the ADD issues. So, rambling again. Nice to meet you.

Thanks so very much for your responses. I am mainly concerned about mood stabilizers for depression, as I am not the classic Bipolar person. I have never been truly manic and am rarely even hypomanic. My mood seems to run a path between comatose depression and somewhat normal, with a few episodes of being hypomanic thrown in for good measure. During these times I sleep less, lose some weight, get a lot done and am actually social! I have never had a problem during these periods with substances, spending, sex I wouldn't normally have, etc. The reason that I would consider them to be hypomanic is that I can get involved in a project or projects and go without sleeping at all and continue on. My brain clicks along at an alarming rate and am very creative and even funny during these periods. Because I am rarely even hypomanic, I have never routinely taken mood stabilizers. I have always taken an antidepressant medication. As I get older though and as I do more research on this illness, I am concerned that my brain may actually benefit from the mood stabilizers. I am really concerned about keeping the cognitive loss and memory issues at bay as much as possible. Right now I am tearful and VERY sad, but I think that is a result of the loss of my sister and my dog. Both of them together was about too much. It sounds silly to say this, but my dog was a major support system for me. For many years he was touching some part of my body all the time. He went everywhere that I went. When I lost my sister I found myself reaching out for him constantly to gain some support and he wasn't there. As to my sister, I try to process it a bit at a time. It is hard not to imagine her mindset during those last hours. She had the same affective disorders that so much of my family seems to struggle with, but she also had the schizophrenia that only a couple of people in my family have had. On top of that, I think that she may have been some place on the autistic spectrum. I know that some of those lack of affect things can be normal if you have schizophrenia, but this started when she was a small child so I think there may have been some autism also. She became VERY ill at puberty and suffered the rest of her life. Add to that the poverty and lack of opportunity that goes along with that and it was just a tragic end to a tragic life. Yet, she was the one sister I was close to. She was the one that understood and LOVED me, for me. I had always been her "little mom" as she was eight years younger than I was. I think that these things are just going to hurt for a long time. So, sorry for writing such a long post AGAIN. I think that it is helpful to write. Thanks for your responses.

Hello all, I am wondering if anyone has had any luck with a mood stabilizer alone squelching their depressive side of thier illness or if they also always have to have an antidepressant? Do you feel that your mood stabilizers help to actually prevent depression? Thanks so much for any input. W