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Moonstruck

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About Moonstruck

  • Birthday 06/04/1980

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  1. My daughter is currently getting the help she needs. But ah if you want to know more details, Allan, just send a PM about it. My doctor upped my medication. I have no earthly idea if its working or not. I do know I'm keeping my head together and getting things done that need to be done. I also know the supreme confusion is just getting out of hand in my own head. I feel as if I'm running on auto pilot. Somebody asked "Why does it matter if you cause these issues or not?" in regards to my daughter's RAD. The answer... Because IF I caused these issues, the I need to know so I can correct such behaviors and/or take other avenues to get her better care then apparently I can provide. And that would go for my other children as well. IF that is the case and I caused these issues for her, then I need to be taken out of the picture as a direct care provider. Wither I like it or not!!! It is what ever is best for my children is what needs to be done regardless on how I feel about it! Bottom line. Any other Questions?? My memory is not as bad as it would seem as of late. I make sure I write things down a LOT. I will be getting a recorder for all kinds of situations. I sick of people saying that I don't remember! If I don't then it will be proven, and if I do they can go straight to hell. On a side note: the process in which I think really sucks. anybody else starting to realize or have already realized this with themselves????
  2. Now do you understand why in the hell I'm flippin out about this crap??? My daughter was on SS Disability! Since she has been here she doesn't exhibit any of the behaviors listed for RAD or anything else she was told she had!! (Mood disorder/bipolar/add/adhd/odd) So wtf??!!? Let me assure you I haven't applied for SS for her here I didn't see a need to keep her marked. Now IF she IS disabled at that point I will. Note that her sister has no issues. They are only 10 months apart sooooo her sister would also have what she is supose to have, all thing considered right? Her 'Dad' said it was because I let her cry and negleted her but everyone else I talked to that was around told me differently!!I made damn sure they wouldn't spare my feelings in telling me about any of that. They knew it was to help my daughter if that was the case. Do you understand why now I'm questioning memory & blacking out??? Or are these people using my mental health as an excuse for their own personal fantacy world?? My memory is very good. The only real issue I have with it is pin pointing exact year and dates. But I get close. So please tell me am I more messed up then I think or is this a very bad game that people are playing????? Edit: please pardon any misspellings, I'm posting from my phone. Auto correct =fail sometimes
  3. Google my help you with the R.A.D. After you read just a few paragraphs you will get the idea. Now apperently people are telling me about these so called black outs that I have. They say I don't remember things. But only have said such things to me AFTER my dygnosis (sp). So either this shit is actually happening OR these people are using my mental health aginst me. Which is it?? cause ya know I'm truly sick of this crap!! Best example I have; my son had a broken arm in which the state state involved itself in. My sister told the state that I blackout and don't remember things. I have never been like thatever in my life! The other example I have is ; since my daughter with the R.A.D. and what its developed from, her 'dad' has pushed / blaimed everything on me!! But honestly if that was the case her sister (who is still living with her dad) would also have it. Now which is it, do I actually black out or are they using my mental health aginst me?? If my memory was that bad and the blackouts were true, I wouldn't remember being raped as a child or abused or things I said or did as an adult or a child both good and bad. So somebody please tell me WTF?!?!?
  4. A doc said I was bipolar type 2 with anixity. Mood stablizers only go so far with the extreem switches I seem to have. Talking to my doctor is nothing less then a joke. I will be telling her about the memory thing when I see her next. What's concerning me mostly about the blackouts/memory loss is that my daughter was told she has RAD disorder. Well, if any of yoy bothered to look this up you would know my concern. On a form that was sent to me from her "dad" there were things blacked out concerning me. Litterly a sharpie marked through things. When I'm not seeming to understand is why the hell is the RAD only with my oldest daughter?? Her sister is only 10 months younger. Somebody explain this to me PLEASE!! Or a. I being parinoid about ti all thinking I really fuct up my kid and if that's the case why only one when both got the same treatment from me from what I can remember..? Oh well there is more but that should give enough of something for some kind of something/feedback. See why I'm asking about memory/blackouts?? This is very important, maybe urgent idk.
  5. Does Bipolar effect memroy? People are telling me things about my life past/present that are confusing and scaring the hell out of me. I simply don't remember. Biggest example I have it my mother telling me on the phone last week that, yes I did let the baby cry. Um okay, honestly I'm sure I was more attentive than what she is telling me. My friend from high school is telling me stories about myself that are plan shocking. And a few years back a friend told me about hitting my third grade teacher. My memory of all of this isn't there. I'm learning about myself almost daily now. A lot of which I have no memory of. I understand everyone sees things differently. (5 people see an accendent there are 5 stories all simular but different and if blinded with ear plugs nobody could give a story of what they saw) Are these blackouts or wtf? Not remembering this crap is taking its toll on me. Funny thing is I remember conversation word for word most times. But now I'm even questioning that. Now the answers or responces are mostly 'i don't know'. That's not really good. So again are blackout and memeroy loss associated with bipolar? Or is something else going on?
  6. I like mind movies like The Butterfly Effect Oh and Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy is just great Rocky Horror Picture Show is my ut most favorit.
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