Thanks for the replies, they are much appreciated as always! I am okay today, my emotions are ever-changing. I never know what to expect. I think that going through those emotions depletes me, so even when the storm is over, I have to deal with the fatigue it causes which depresses me. My get up and go got up and went. I need to change but I guess it isn't going to happen overnight. I need to focus on one small thing to change instead of feeling overwhelmed by the enormous task I have in front of me. I agree that distraction is helpful, and I like to do puzzle books with logic questions because I can't do those and think about things at the same time:) I thought this was interesting so I wanted to share it. I had a dream the other night that xT called me. He said, I am going camping, but I wanted to call you and make sure that you are and will be okay, that you won't be in pain. A few days before this dream, it was odd because in an instant I felt like my anger and rage from termination was over, that I had processed it all, expressed myself clearly, intensely, and persistently. I read something that talked about visualizing things that have happened in the past and visualizing the painful parts as happening differently, positively. After being terminated, although I might have suspected otherwise, I felt like T let me go, he didn't care if I was in pain, he didn't care if I lived or died. My analysis: my T going camping = him wanting to get away from stress (me) and make his life simpler. (although I think he was right to do what he did, I understand this now) But him calling me to see if I was okay, and telling me that he did care in spite of what happened, was what I wanted him to do. My dream brought about a lot of felt peace in regard to what happened, and I am able to remember who he was now that my pain from that isn't so overwhelming. I am able to contemplate that he did care. It still is painful, but painful in that it was a loss. Peace.