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Tsunami

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Tsunami last won the day on November 5 2013

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  1. Thank you, IJ. I seemed to have calmed down and think I can deal with this. I took my sleep meds. and am eagerly awaiting to be not conscious for awhile.
  2. Happy New Year to you, too! I see him on Wednesday and will ask clarification. It has really stressed me out, my reaction has been a bit of an overreaction, but I'm not sure why fully. I'm kind of sad that I have to have any kind of persecutory part be a part of me. Thank you for your reply.
  3. I have a question to ask. My T and I have talked about me having a persecutory part last summer. Last session, he told me that I was different than his DID patients in that my persecutory part is part of my personality. What does this mean? Can somebody please explain to me what this means? Like, do I have a paranoid personality disorder? I hate this with a passion. I felt like he told me that I was different than his other patients in that the problem was with who I am (my personality). I know he wouldn't do this to me, but I am just kind of clueless as to what this means, and would appreciate any help. Thanks!
  4. HI Lamplighter! I'm glad you are posting here! It's good to hear from you.
  5. ............................
  6. Tsunami

    Disregard

    I'm in awe that 20 people liked this post. lol
  7. Thanks for the replies, they are much appreciated as always! I am okay today, my emotions are ever-changing. I never know what to expect. I think that going through those emotions depletes me, so even when the storm is over, I have to deal with the fatigue it causes which depresses me. My get up and go got up and went. I need to change but I guess it isn't going to happen overnight. I need to focus on one small thing to change instead of feeling overwhelmed by the enormous task I have in front of me. I agree that distraction is helpful, and I like to do puzzle books with logic questions because I can't do those and think about things at the same time:) I thought this was interesting so I wanted to share it. I had a dream the other night that xT called me. He said, I am going camping, but I wanted to call you and make sure that you are and will be okay, that you won't be in pain. A few days before this dream, it was odd because in an instant I felt like my anger and rage from termination was over, that I had processed it all, expressed myself clearly, intensely, and persistently. I read something that talked about visualizing things that have happened in the past and visualizing the painful parts as happening differently, positively. After being terminated, although I might have suspected otherwise, I felt like T let me go, he didn't care if I was in pain, he didn't care if I lived or died. My analysis: my T going camping = him wanting to get away from stress (me) and make his life simpler. (although I think he was right to do what he did, I understand this now) But him calling me to see if I was okay, and telling me that he did care in spite of what happened, was what I wanted him to do. My dream brought about a lot of felt peace in regard to what happened, and I am able to remember who he was now that my pain from that isn't so overwhelming. I am able to contemplate that he did care. It still is painful, but painful in that it was a loss. Peace.
  8. Jeep- What did your T say? I expect that you do feel vulnerable and hope you can go back and face your T. Keep posting.
  9. Tsunami

    Disregard

    Disregard, I figured it out:)
  10. Thanks everyone! I have been in bed all day:( So much for my plan. I need to do opposite of emotion, but I haven't yet done that. I need to just do it. I guess this is depression, because I am not dealing with T issues, issues otherwise, though. I
  11. I had a really good session today. T was very understanding and we worked through some of the issues I was having. I can now focus on me, my D, and H, and it is such a relief! I can't wait to start living again instead of struggling to live. I am free for summer, and although I have no money, I still am going to find a lot of things to do! Take care all!
  12. Yep, another possibility:), I think i might be a fish. I like multifaceted, good one:) I really want to shift my perspective, but I am shifting between being somewhat okay to being NOT okay, and as of yet I feel unable to control it. Ugh. Thanks so much for your kind words, everyone here has really helped! Yeah, he would be perfect as a macaroni, lol:)
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