Jump to content
Mental Support Community

SmexelbY

Members
  • Posts

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About SmexelbY

  • Birthday 04/08/1993

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://soniaexelby.tumblr.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Hampshire UK
  • Interests
    Music and exercise

SmexelbY's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/4)

5

Reputation

  1. My first suicide attempt was a day after my eighth birthday. It was nothing serious but even before that I remember being depressed. I'm nineteen now and only had a handful of manic periods similar to this. Thank you, yes I will do because he's scared for me too. Yes I am very musical and looking for a career in composition one day. Maybe check out my page if you'd like? soniaexelby.tumblr.com haha sorry I feel bad for doing that but the piano piece on there I wrote when I was on a high. I do get very creative! And well, I find it hard to explain and where I don't really know what I'm doing/who I am right now it's even harder. But an expample would be when people constantly drill it in to you that you have to be the one to help yourself. I know that all too well which is why I struggle so much.
  2. I have my partner but he doesn't understand, and he is getting abuse from my part because of how agitated I feel. Yes I've always been good at punctuation and phrasing, but I find on a high I write with more complicated words but it feels like I am writing in the dark because to me none of it makes sense. Thank you though, that does make me feel better. Another thing is where I haven't been able to sleep much at night - I frequently wake up and stay awake for hours on end - I find myself noding off during the day. I'm pretty intelligent too which helps, but also can be a hindrance because I know the harsh truth all too well and struggle to see any other side to it.
  3. I'm so scared, I took an NHS online questionnaire to assess my mood, and I really wanted it to come out that I wasn't manic so I even underestimated the question answers... And it still came out with a severe mania. I just want to cry I'm so scared. Definitely need to contact someone tomorrow first thing in the morning. I will reply here when I know what they say. Thank you so much for the support. I find everything really hard to understand so if I'm ignoring everything then I do apologise. Thanks again.
  4. Thank you for the support, I've felt pretty alone where no one seems to understand. Being depressed people will give you advice and some comfort, but being manic.. They just shy away and don't have a clue what is going on. It's like they are terrified to be around me. I do take medication. I'm on a high dosage of a mood stabiliser, and last week the decision was made to come off of one anti-depressant and on to another. Ironically coming off the anti-depressant for a few days seemed to make the mania slightly worse. Everything is so confusing
  5. No, thank you so much this is helpful I promise. I know you are right and my care team are the first people I should speak with. Family members and friends have less than an understanding than I do so I'm pretty lost. Plus it's just one thing after another with me, they'll be too fed up to listen.
  6. I suffer with Bipolar type two, so the highs are less frequent. I always thought that I was unlucky for this, but now I am experiencing one of the most intense highs I've ever been on and because I hardly ever have them I don't know how to handle it! I hate myself, I'm doing and saying reckless things which hurt people, I'm hallucinating, hearing things, becoming severely delusional... I don't know what to do, please someone help? I've ended up spending my pitiful wages and some of my savings in two days. I'm scared I'm going to do something that will drastically hurt those around me and leave me picking up the pieces when I inevitably crash. I feel like I'm going to do something that will ruin my life...
×
×
  • Create New...