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Hello This is the first time ever i'm talking about this to anyone. My eng is not really good so pls bear with it lol This is another "big nose" story but with lil difference cos i'm a man (i guess this is mostly "girly" problem) It's not looking issue. I was never handsome man i never will be and i'm fine with that. I'm not fine when people are trying to help me with (really) low sef confidence and i can't really tell them why anything they say can't help. So yeah... I was born with pretty normal nose but really soon (like 4 ys old) i broke it (but really boke, i could see inside my nose lol) 2-3 years after i did it again! lol And again looool Anyway... When i was little my nose was "fine" but as i started to grow my nose did to and pretty soon it became huge! 7th grade or so, when i just started to hit puberty (worst time possible) it begins! Everyone in class started to make fun off me, calling me any big nose name you can think of. That happen every day of my life! I was skipping school here and there just to give myself a break, but it didn't help cos all i did (staying home or wandering around the town) was crying or cursed God that made me this way or even stare in the mirror and literally feeling sick with image i see in it. I think i delt with abuse the wrong way cos i picked "happy go lucky" attitude to show people i don't care and it doesn't bother me. In one way i'm happy cos of that cos it gave me (and im aware of that) that "magnetic" personality + humble and compassion Yeah pretty soon i became class president and all... But on the other hand it seemed to people that since i don't care they can still make fun of me and they did. I learned to deal with it with my classrom friends but since whole school (or it seemed that way) was "against" me it was just to much. High school was even worse. Especially after couple of fights where i got my nose broke again lol Not only making fun of me but since i "didn't care" they assumed i was weak so they started to spit on my back during class cos i guess thats funny to Funny, i was again elected to be class president (yes president of that horrible class lol) Anyway here's couple of anecdotes (but keep in mind stuff like that happen to me on a daily basis for 10+ years) I remember one time at handball practice, female handball team saw me and all of them, WHOLE team start singing Pinokkio (song from popular band here). My team mates were really stupid and wondered wtf was that all about but i knew... On school trip one girl i saw for the first time in my life (girl with glasses big as ashtrays!) started to point at me and lough saying i can open cans with that thing (lol funny, but funny now not then) Ofcourse when i was passing by people idk sitting on the bench or whatever i looked the other way, that habit stayed with me to this day... My girlfriends father started to draw pictures of me and tape those pictures in her room lol Once (before she became my gf) she went with her friends on summer vacation. When she came back she told us (my friends and me) they were bored so they started to imagine and acting how guys (from our group of friends) look like when they're "making love". She showed us ofcourse lol and when they asked her to show them how i look she turned around and asked me do i want to show me how i look when i'm "making love" with my **** or with my nose... Even her friendes thought thats inappropriate.... And yeah i started (and still am lol what an idiot) dating this one lol Biggest deal was when my little sister came home crying and said everybody makes fun of her cos of me and she is ashamed i'm her brother! I can't resent her cos she was really young but ain't that kick in the head? lol My father and mother kept quiet (i think they were lil bit shocked to) and i did my thing, pretending it doesn't bother me, but truthfully that day part of me died... I had a nose job couple of years later and when i finally started to "breath" again (doctors said i can't brake my nose for atleast a year) 6-7 months after that group of skinheads broke my nose again lol So here we go again. Its not that bad as it used to be but its still pretty bad + emotional scars just don't want to heal Even now when i hear people laughing i think they are laughing at me. I'm still turning my head around passing by. And self confidence is 0 I got this personality that idk in 5 min knowing me people LOVE me and i'm aware of that (thats so cocky to say but its true) I'm a so so successful musician. If you watch any reality show or shows like idk CSI, Navy CIS, Burnt Notice chances are you heard my music. Also DJ-ing in practically all clubs in my town I bought a house with jacuzzy and all other unnecessary things with cash! (no credit, mortage or anything) So at the moment i'm living a dream I thought that could gave me some self confidence but nah Still feeling inferior comparing anyone i do or do not know. Still have a same girlfriend! Yes the same one that hurt me on couple occasions. People ask me why i don't merry her i don't know what to answer... Honesty i know, its because i want something else, something better but still think and always will NOONE wants to be with me + feeling some strange gratitude cos she was willing (and still is) to be with me when i was "nobody" and when noone else didn't want to be with me + i'm 30 i'm affraid its to late for me now... So yeah... This is a good example how bullying and entall abuse can screw you'r life and nomather what you do later in life you'll not get better