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I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. He lived in another city but recently moved to the same city as I am about 6 months ago. During those 6 months, I have found out things that he has done before, even during our relationship including: 1. sending nude photos to women in exchange for photos of them 2. sexting with other women 3. flirting with women on Facebook He claims he stopped doing those things, but the fact is, he did them. He did them until almost a year into our relationship. He admitted he used to do those things (he says he doesn't know why) but that he loves me and he was 'stupid' and 'an idiot' but he realized what he was doing was wrong and quit. He deleted his Facebook to help with my anxiety (he says he was addicted to it). The thing is, I just don't know if he really did. It has given me the worst anxiety of my life. This is the man I thought to be my soul mate and that I was going to marry. He didn't physically cheat on me, but I feel like it counts as an emotinal cheating. Sometimes I feel like he is being honest, but then I think he could be still doing these things and covering them up. I feel like he is addicted to the rush. He asks his friends when they meet girls 'did you see her boobs". I mean, he is 30 years old! It makes me feel like he is not ready to take the next step in his life and grow up. I also know before we met, he used match.com to hook up with girls in different cities while he was there for work. This bothers me beyond belief. I am so confused by all of this. Am I being paranoid? Or do I have low self esteem. Sometimes I think, well he could have used me as one of his escapades, but he just happened to fall in love...other times I am completely happy, then worse times I feel like the relationship is over and I am holding on to his words.
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- relationships
- cheating
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Hello everyone, So without killing everyone with a text wall - long story short, I had sex with a friend in May, started seeing each other consistently since then (see each other at least twice a week, text everyday, etc), are not a "declared coupled," have talked to him about the possibility of being a couple (three times) and rejected each time with the reason of "focusing on my career," wrote him a letter telling him my deepest feelings for him (leaving out the words "I love you") and asked him if he liked me romantically (leaving him the option to not tell me if he didn't want to), discussed the letter (with no mention of liking me back). We still see each other and talk to each other everyday and he's as darling as ever (endlessly kind and comforting, buys me meals, cleans my apartment without me asking, endlessly polite, defends me against crude guys, takes care of me when I'm sick, etc). Honestly right now, I am so lost and confused. I don't know what to do about this situation. He's the nicest guy I've ever been with, possess the majority of the characteristics that I've been looking for in someone and it really hurts knowing I'm so close, yet as far away as I can be. All my friends tell me that I need to talk to him and set boundaries, but I mentioned in the letter that I wouldn't bother him about this topic anymore. My reasons are it's been three times, he doesn't like talking about himself, and one of his reasons is that once he's in a relationship, that person's life means a lot more to him that his own and I can understand why he doesn't want to get into a relationship, but the ambiguity of everything still really hurts me. Also, I am confused because last week, I slept with another friend and I'm not sure if that is classified as cheating. Can you cheat on someone you're not dating, but are involved with? Why are relationships so complicated?
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- cheating
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