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Showing results for tags 'ptsd'.
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So my illness has gotten worse and I am unsure as to why. It has only made my life extremely difficult. I can't relax at all and I am always terrified. I am wondering if I should admit myself but I don't want to take any haste decisions.
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>26 > Black Female > Lives with mom and siblings >Was in a five year relationship (engaged most throughout) with a abusive cheating dickhead who was lowkey racist and bigot >He broke it off with me two months after he threw a chair then hit me in my face > Stalked/Harrased me for Three years after the break up (recently his wife told me she wanted to kill me after she called me ugly this happen in January of this year ) > Even though its been about three going on four years i still haven fully recovered > I been having nightmares > been even more suicidal lately > Health been on a up and down yo-yo do to this >Tried reaching out to other sites like 7cups of tea and the suicide hotline BOTH HAS MADE ME EVEN MORE DEPRESSED! > Friends One moved to the south part of my state One i cant trust that well and the last has her own mental problems plus is hard to get in touch with > been dissociating feeling not real and not alive >Panic whenever i go outside longer than 20 min > Lost intrest in alot of things.
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So I have ptsd and bpd, this may help better understand this situtation. But I feel suicidal and have thoughts to self harm and have already self harmed . I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone and dead and useless and I think I should just not exist. I keep thinking of all the abuse I went through, keep having nightmares, every sound sends me into a panic attack and causes me to cry. All that I have been pushing down keeps coming back up and I don't know what to do anymore. I am about to just give up. I have been trying to fight through this so fucking long and I dont know what to do. I feel like my family always wants me to be perfecct knowing my illnesses. I have expressed to them that this really makes living hard for me an they just keep saying to get through it but dont care to fucking listen in therapy sessions about my serious illnesses. I always feel like I am screaming and no one wil listen. I am begging for someone to listen to me because I am in so much fucking pain from this lifelong abuse I have had. I don't know how to handle this anymore. I just want to give up.
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My dad told me that earlier today my brother has been having some... issues. He was crying for the past three days and saying that he was going to die. I didn't know about it until today because I had been at my mom's apartment for those three days. I don't understand why he's acting like this, but I have a few thoughts. I've done intense research on mental health after figuring out about my disorders, and I learned quite a bit. First off, I noticed that my brother has extremely large bags under his eyes, which are a dark red color for some reason. He might have recurring nightmares, but my brother didn't say anything about it. He may be experiencing flashbacks or suffering from PTSD, as he has gone through traumatic moments in his life, which I would rather not get into, and it doesn't help at all that he's only eight. I'm worried about him, so I was wanting to see what others think. Thank you.
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- ptsd
- nightmares
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I am ending this year as a 20 year old female whose depression has worsened since high school, and whose year has been absolute shit. Reasons why 2015 has been the worst year of my life so far: Monty Oum, someone I looked up to very much, died at the beginning of the year. I suffered my first severe panic attack shortly after his death My depression began to worsen I had to start therapy I discovered that a good friend was actually a toxic friend I only got to come home for one month due to summer school I had several more panic attacks over the summer I lost my financial aid My boyfriend of four years broke up with me I have been disqualified from the school I was studying in before I could switch I may end up being disowned by my parents for being kicked out of school I very much want to kill myself because I would rather die than be a disappointment This year has not been kind to me at all, and it's almost like high school is repeating all over again. My therapist from school said I might have PTSD, so along with my depression, it's just a whole crock of shit.
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Hello. I suppose I should begin by telling you a bit about myself. My name is Frankie. I'm 18. I live in Minnesota. I'm a trans* male, and I consider myself demipansexual. I've been diagnosed with Major Depression with psychotic features, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia, Insomnia, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, ADD, Anorexia Nervosa, Borderline Personality Disorder, Gender Identity Disorder, and Schizoid Personality Disorder. I was also diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, and I've tried to commit suicide once. I've been dealing with depression, ADD, ADHD, OCD, and anxiety since I was little. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and I quickly became depressed, and suicidal as time went on. The bullying also contributed to my feelings of anxiety, which materialized into me avoiding most forms of social contact. I started cutting when I was 13, and tried to commit suicide when I was 15. I tried to bleed out, as well as overdose on ibuprofen. I was unsuccessful, because I only cut my legs at the time, and I didn't take enough pills to knock me out, only enough to make me sick. No one noticed, so I didn't tell anyone and I didn't have to go to the hospital. Going back a little bit, when I was 14, I was hit by a car on my bike, and now I have a phobia of driving, and I'm still trying to get over my PTSD. This is also when the psychotic features of my depression came to light. They got progressively worse over the years, and when I was 16, they sent me to the hospital for fear of another suicide attempt. From there, I went on to the Partial Program at the hospital, and then on to DBT, which I graduated from after 7 months. By that time, I was nearing the end of my senior year in high school. I graduated a little over 3 months later, and then I went back to the hospital for a stomachache I had had since March. They diagnosed me with Crohn's Disease 2 months later. Then, I moved and started my first semester of college. In October, I had to go back to the hospital for my depression. I didn't attempt suicide, but I was dangerously close to doing so. I was hospitalized in the adult ward for a week, and then I went back to school after dropping 3 classes. I quickly learned that I was still suicidal, and that I needed help. So, I withdrew from school, and now I'm seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and I plan on going back to DBT soon. If you've read all of this, I congratulate you. I've got a pretty long and boring history of mental problems. I suppose I should head off to bed, now. It's pretty late. I wish you all a good and safe night.
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- Psychotic Depression
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A free scientific article (by Valerie Curtis from the Department of Infectious and Tropical Diseases, London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine) about disgust and disorders of the disgust system: http://rstb.royalsoc...8.full.pdf html Short excerpt from the intro of the part about the disorders: And the intro of the CONCLUSIONS: