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Ok so my girlfriend and I are both 16 and she goes to parties nothing excessive or anything above normal but she does drink a bit. Not like alcoholic but just like a normal teenager would. Now for some reason when she drinks at parties I get really nervous. Like super high anxiety and I just feel genuinely upset and I don’t know how to deal with this because she’s not doing anything wrong and I don’t want to make her feel bad by saying something. ( we have been talking about it together tho) I was In an abusive relationship (mental/emotional,physical) with my father I wouldn’t label him as an alcoholic but he definitely has a serious drinking problem. Maybe he is I’m not really to sure just looking for some coping advice for when my girlfriend wants to go out and have a good time and I have a panic attack and get really upset. Also I’m sorry if I was unclear just spewing out my thoughts; if any clarification is needed please let me know. Thank you for any advice.

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Like the title suggests, I'm a mess. And I'm not doing very well. I've been fighting with my generalized anxiety and depression for 10 years, but was diagnosed 3 years ago. I'm a university student -taking my sweet time but I'm doing it- and I was with a man I was sure I'd marry. I was medicated. I thought I was doing alright. Certainly not great, but I was managing. I would have panic attacks for no apparent reason, I didn't particularly want to get out of bed, but I was still doing relatively okay. I hadn't hurt myself in over 5 years. Side note : I have severe tinnitus. There is a ringing in my ears, 24/7 and I have not habituated even though it has been my constant, aggravating companion for the majority of my life. Essentially, my anxiety and depression makes me want to be alone, but the silence that comes with it drives me insane, because I don't get to have silence. Ever. It's been documented that people have commit suicide from the unbearable ringing. And a lot of days, I totally get it. Back on track. After 5 and a half years, he dumped me. Out of nowhere. To figure out "who he is". His Quarter Life Crisis sent me reeling. I went through most of my teenage years never expecting to let myself live long enough having a future. With him, I had come to want one. We had plans. For our house, our pets, our kids. And it was gone. To add insult to injury, my baby sister and her boyfriend are talking engagement. I lost all my friends eons ago. I have my family, but my sister is self absorbed, my father has no patience for anyone and turns any sort of complaint into a competition for who is suffering more and my mom is under the verge of collapse from stress. They're there, but either not in the capacity that I need, or have so much that I'm unwilling to burden them any more. I'm off my medication. After he dumped me, the misery of withdrawal was nothing. I feel the same off or on it anyways. I don't want to kill myself. I just hope that I won't wake up in the morning. Or that tomorrow I'll be diagnosed with something terminal. I hate myself for thinking that because I know people in those situations that would give anything to live. But I would trade them if I could. Anyways, if you actually read this, I'm thankful that you took the time, and ashamed that I made you waste it on me.

This is a bit of a long story, but what's going on is affecting my mental health immensely. I don't know which way to turn so I guess I'll post here. I moved across the country back to the town I grew up in so I could be with the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Him and I were engaged for two years, in a relationship for six years. I left him and moved to wisconsin with my sister because he was treating me badly and i wanted him to try and change before i got back with him again. He's changed, but he fell in love with someone else. This other girl is now pregnant with his child. I'm obsolete now to the person i believe to be my soul mate. He's struggling to choose between her and I and I can't handle it anymore. I told him I would wait for him but this whole ordeal is driving me to the point where i'm punching myself so hard i'm leaving bruises. I feel like none of this would have happened if I never left and just stayed here and worked with him to make things better. I feel like i'm ruining other people's lives. I don't want to live like this anymore and i don't see myself moving forward with life without him. I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking confused and hurt and I haven't stopped crying for days. I've cried myself to sleep the last several nights. I want to be with him and this girl doesn't but he has feelings for her. I don't understand how his mind is working and i don't know what he's thinking. If he decides to be with her he has to cut me off for good, forever. I don't think I'll be able to make it if that happens. I can't see a future without him in it. This is what I've worked so hard my whole life for. I chased him ever since i was 13 and now i'm 20. We've been together for our whole lives it seems like. If he chooses her I can guarantee I won't be around long enough for him to find out if that's the correct decision or not.

Hey everyone! im new and i kinda want to make a small introduction, my name is Agustina, but everyone calls me Hayley (long story), im 20 years old, and im from Argentina (bahia blanca, buenos aires) I have anxiety and im currently medicated with natural drops. Going good with that luckly. Aaaaand as much as its been a shitty week with family shit going on, not relatable to what happened today; Im in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years, and as we allways had our personal friends and friends in common we allways been really confortable and minimal jelous going on (allways mine) but anyways, i been feeling unconfortable this past year because he started to be friends with 2 girls that live near him and know each other for a long time, they just got closer, that made me a little jelous only because im the insecure one, like, i have the irrational fear of him relazing that any of them are better for him and not me because we are actually pretty different (me being goth and him.. not) and other things, but, thats just in my head you know, it happens. But still knowing that we trust each other and we deeply love each other no matter what and that out differences make out relationship better and intresting all the time, i was still feeling unconfortable. I feelt so hypocrit because most of my friends are males, like, i have 3 close girl friends and 5 best male friend (+ not so close friends also males) i get along better with males, i dont know why. The thing is he made a new female friend this year that makes me really unconfortable, i know her before him, and she was best friends with a girl that tried to ruin our relationship, she was bothering ous so much we were stressed all the time, and yeah, shit drama.. When i saw that he was friends with this girl (lets call her X) i got soooooo angry we had a little short figth, i was like "okey, im not going to hate you, but im still going to be unconfortable with her" and he was okey with that i guess, like, he cant change my mind. I recently find out that hating X sooo much that i was so in rage when he named her, like a tons of anxiety filled me up.. that was insane and it was getting irrational.. i though about it a lot and i came to realize i was so unconfortable with his female friends because i feel that its unfair. Unfair that he is close friend with most of my male friends, and some female friends, but i know nothing about his friends of him. Today i got really upset because we were talking about his birthday and i asked who is comming (its in december 25, a jesus alive) and when he named X i internlly exploded. And i told him something like okey im not going have fun with your frienddd (talking about her) and he laughed, because he finds funny that im insecure about it, he allways reminds me that he loves me and he would never cheat me and everything, but thats not the case, im still unconfortable arround them! I spent most of the day with anxiety and i actually locked myself in the bathroom telling him that i was feeling bad that i had so much anxiety but i didnt told him why. Theres when i realize about the reason of my anger and shit. So when i came home i fb menssage him about all of this, in a shorter way, and i told him that as i want to stop feeling that way i wanted to meed his female friends, i want him to introduce them propperly and so i would feel better, that i dont want to feel so bad all the time and i want to go to his birthday without locking myself in the bathroom to cry and heavy breathe.. After being gentle with that mensage, telling him that i dont want ous to figth about that shit again his answer was: "If you want an answer now, im not going to tell them to start getting together and meet you and talk to you, if you wanna know them better, just talk to them" And i was like SHIT and told him something like, i cant, that is difficult for me, and that i needed him to be more sensitive about the situation and that it doesnt have to be that serious, i just wanted to meet them to star feeling more confortable arround them. I feel like SHIT, LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT i wish i havent told him anything and just work my way to getting closer to them slowly and maybe talk about it in person with him but IT MAKES ME SO NERVOUS i was so scared of starting to cry and ending up all in a big figth that i dont need rigth now, AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I DONT WANT TO BE MAD AT HIM, I DONT WANT HIM SO INSENSITIVE ABOUT IT, AND I DONT WANNA FIGTH NEAR THE HOLYDAYS AND I DONT WANNA FEEL SUICIDE AGAIN. Any advice? Ps: sorry for my english.

I am feeling immensely pressed and nervous because I cannot find a decent job.My aim is working abroad and it just doesn't seem to work out.Thus I feel constantly worried,tensed and stressed. My mother keeps repeating that I should find something abroad due to my education and also she strongly dislikes my boyfriend as she believes he holds me back (he doesn't really). Now my relationship is 2 years now and I can't say anything bad about it.I like all my SO features but recently because of all this stress I started over-thinking and over-analyzing it,always being afraid that its not perfect,not for me and that my mother may be right. I understand its my anxiety talking but can't do anything.And anxiety is getting really bad now. When we had an argument I felt slight relief in case my SO decided to break up because it would mean no more anxiety and no more struggling with myself (even though its a completely wrong thing to give up). I am just tired of anxiety,I wish things would work out soon and I would find a harmony with myself.For now I just wish someone would tell me the problems come from my head only so I stop worrying about things that are not even real and stop ruining my relationship.

Hello. I am new here. My fiancee is pretty shy when it comes to sex. He wont let me see him naked. I think its due to the size of his penis, its small (i guess cause he wont let me see it). But i love having sex with him, i can do him everyday and i am willing to do all kinds of sexual things with him too but he just isn't willing. i am pretty open sexually, more than the average person. We have been together for 10 months, I am pregnant and we are engaged so im pretty sure he knows i love him a lot and i do try to say things like how i find him attractive, dirty talk, i tell him i wish we could have sex everyday etc... He is actually really good at sex and I just wish he wasn't so shy. As soon as we have sex he lays on his stomach, gets dressed quickly, won't let me touch his penis, won't let me give him blow jobs, won't stand naked around me. I am trying to be patient but I don't know what else I can do to make him more at ease. i try not to talk about it too much but its not getting any better. I try to initiate sex but most of the time he just says later. When I first moved in we had sex everyday but he broke a rib and had to stop but since then its been like once a week which i usually initiate. It was like this before i got pregnant so i don't think it due to me being pregnant. i am a pretty attractive female and before the belly had a pretty nice body. I just would like some advice from men to see what i can do to make him more open... I dont know what to do. Sometimes i think he's shyness is due to his body image too (he has a little bit of a spare tire but nothing bad). Or maybe its his body and the size of his penis that make him shy. i like the fact that he is shy but i wish he wasn't shy around me and be comfortable enough to be more sexually open with me especially since we are going to be married. what can i do to make him more open?

Hi there, This is my first post on this site so I'm a little wary and nervous. I have come here for help since I'm in a country where English is not the local language and professionals who speak English aren't readily available. I would appreciate advice from those who have been in my situation, from counselors, therapists, or anyone with much knowledge and understanding of this issue. I'm an Asian 28 year old female working as a teacher and an artist in Asia. I come from a large family of 9 children with parents of a secular Christian adherence. I grew up in an unconventional lifestyle which gave me many unique opportunities to travel and learn much outside of traditional educational institutions. I chose to go my own way in life at the age of 17, departing from almost all friends, family members, and what was familiar to me. I describe myself as an atheist or a very hard-nosed agnostic. I'm in my second long-term, serious relationship with a man whom I love very much. I'm explaining my background as I hope it may help in a clearer "diagnosis" or getting a shot at some helpful advice. My main problem: I am having trouble with many issues dealing with my boyfriend sleeping with prostitutes before he met me. ( I have only found out about this 6 months ago although we've been together for 2.5 years. He's from North America and is also of no religious adherence even though he also grew up in a Christian family. We met online, started out in a long-distance relationship for a year, and then moved in together.) When I found out he had visited prostitutes multiple times in his past, it was in the middle of a conversation with another friend and was not in a private/intimate conversation. I felt very hurt because it had taken him 2 years to tell me. I felt betrayed because he only brought it up when someone else asked him. I was in shock because I thought he had told me all about his sexual history after asking him many times about it. Another problem: When I asked him why he had never told me before, he said I should have asked the specific question, "Have you ever slept with prostitutes?" I know this means he didn't want to be open about it, yet he's told me he feels fine about it and not guilty or shamed at all. If he feels totally fine with this part of his sexual history, why has he taken 2 years to haphazardly tell me? (My gut tells me he's uncomfortable about it regardless of what he says.) It most definitely would have changed how I thought of him at the beginning of our relationship. But, I feel even more betrayed that he never brought it up in any of our intimate times together. If it never came up in friendly conversation, would he ever have told me? (My gut tells me no, again! Instead, I would have found out even later, putting more of the time I committed to our relationship into question.) It's been about 6 months and I'm still dealing with all of these conflicting and upsetting thoughts and emotions. I've tried to talk about it with him but haven't gotten very far. He is either dumfounded by the amount of questions I have or he's knowingly trying to shut down the topic. I've been blamed, seemingly, for being too emotional, thinking too much, holding on to a grudge, and bringing up the past too much. I still have so many questions about how he views women, what he thinks and feels about our sex life compared to his bought sex, how providing for a woman in a loving relationship is different than paying for a woman for sex, why it took so long for him to tell me, etc etc etc etc... And he does not want to, or know how to, talk with me about it. I cannot get over it because we haven't been dealing with it. I am still in pain and it's at the point where I can no longer ignore how I feel. I'm afraid to admit to him and myself, that this might be a breaking point because we cannot seem to talk about this issue, or other issues regarding our sex life. I need some help, until I find a counselor or therapist. I need to hear a different perspective or some wisdom to shed light and a bit of comfort during this difficult time. He is a considerate and caring person from a loving background. However, I am his first girlfriend and I am the only non-prostitute sexual partner he's had in more than a few years. He's also not understood my issue with him watching porn. (This may or may not be related, and I'm willing to explain further on this subject if asked.) Thankfully yours, Thoughtful Female

Okay, so I joined the mentalhelp/mentalsupport community almost an year ago, but after several afterthoughts I thought that perhaps I wouldn't need any help and that I should try to live my life by myself. I've been going by that for the entirety of the past year. The thing now is that now I'm starting to realize that I need help, and if not help, I at least needs lots of advice. Okay, I will try to keep this pretty short, and not too wordy. Around June of the past year, I started becoming a more emotional guy, and a lot of the emotions I usually kept bottled up inside me started coming out, and didn't really care about many people before that time, but afterwards I totally changed and I really started have more expressive emotions. I think this was due to a lot of things going on in my life at that time that didn't allow me to keep all those emotions bottled up inside me, so I had to become more expressive. At least, that's what I think. So, afterwards, in August 2011, I started school, and I had a decision to make about who I would be closer friends with and such, and I changed those who I hung out with frequently, choosing to go with those who were more understanding. Anyways, I made a mental note to myself that if were to be really close to a girl or date a girl, I would do it on the sole basis of personality and not looks because that is what I believe in. Other than that, school and everything else went successfully. Anyways, this girl (Lucy, for anonymity) indeed did show up in my life who had an awesome personality, and the way we met was that she was having relationship problems with her boyfriend that that time, and I totally liked the person that she was. Anyways, she would come to me about the things in her relationship that were bothering her, like her boyfriend calling her fat, or their many breakups. I tried my best to help her, and to be there for her. After a few months we became best friends and we ended up trusting each other a lot with almost everything in our lives. Every little thing we would share with each other. Sometimes staying up until 2 or 3 talking or messaging. Now, this was just the start. It was a great friendship, but I didn't really think about an actual relationship with her until much later, not only because she was already dating someone, but also because it was just a really really good friendship and I didn't think about it like that, I just wanted it to last, perhaps forever. So it was February 2012 that she said she broke up for good with this guy that she had been having a sort of a cyclical relationship with. After her breakup, I think we became closer friends. Anyways, she said she wanted to date another guy afterwards, and I advised her, no, on the basis that he wasn't right for her, but also that I would miss her and our friendship, and that no guy would ever be good enough for her. This prompted her to ask that if she would have to be "forever alone" and I replied that we could be forever alone together. Now, that was a joke, but that was about it. The March 2012 came along and we were just really really good best friends. We talked a lot, again about almost everything in our lives. We just trust each a lot, almost completely. That's what I wanted, and I guess I kind of wanted that, what ever that was to last... forever if possible. Now, beginning of April came and she said that she something to tell, but didn't want me to get mad about it, I said okay, and it was that she was going to start dating her ex again. Now, the thing is when things are really good with her boyfriend, our friendship doesn't matter that much, and I told her she shouldn't be dating her ex, but she said that I was just jealous that her dreams were coming true, and that she was finally happy. After hearing that, I distanced myself a lot from her, but we still talked because of school. We just started having a few conflicts because we didn't agree on somethings. Anyways school ended in June 2012 and I dropped all contact with her for about three weeks, but after replying to a few messages, she profusely apologized to me and said that she needed me back as a friend saying she was on the verge of tears about losing our friendship. Now, earlier (February) she had promised she wouldn't go to her ex if it meant risking our friend/relationship. Anyways, end of June, I just couldn't do anything about it, I agreed to be friends with her. Truth is, I missed her, I felt lonely without her. Now July has gone by, and I feel like I've already lost a part of her because she's with someone. Recently, she asked if we could go to college together, and even suggested we could dorm together, but I don't know what to do. And I've just been overthinking a lot about life and our friendship. I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure what I want. I feel weird. I need some kind of help or advice about how to go about this. I'm just really really confused, and this entire situation seems to be affecting me much more than it should.

My girlfriend's sister, age 14, is cutting her wrists because she is in a verbally abusive relationship with another girl, age 16 (this relationship is a dating relationship), and she smokes even though she shouldn't. My girlfriend is scared for her sister, because she doesn't know what to do for her. Her sister does have a counselor, but nobody knows if there has been any type of progress made, and I assume none has because she is cutting and etc., and I am scared for both my girlfriend and her sister, because I don't know what I can do, or what to do to help either. Their parents know of the sister's cutting and relationship with the other girl, but I am told they don't know about the smoking and abusive tendencies of the sister's girlfriend. Can anyone help me figure out what I can do?