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Ever since highschool I have often had months at a time where I was very depressed and had real trouble having contact with other people. I'd lock myself away from the world or find ways to lose myself in another way. There was someone who I could talk to, which made me feel understood but did not help me find back my positivity. Until I found someone who could truly help me. She knew a lot about life and always seemed to understand. Until a few years ago she stopped helping people. I been looking for someone like her, but now I found out one of her students has started for himself. I am really glad to have found someone who can do the same. If he is half as good as she was, I might be getting better. She helped me quit smoking and I never started again, but I coul use some positivity again in my life. I just want to share this with others I hope someone might be helped by this. It's a Dutch guy who speaks English, works through phone and internet I think, have a look www.thewhole.net cosphi

I need some outside help on this. So I found this website and decided to post here. My name is Hannah and I am 17 years old. I suffer from extreme anxiety, social phobia and IBS. I have been prescribed Lexapro and have been taking it since September 2012. I upped my dosage to 20mg in December of 2012. As far as anxiety and social fear goes. I feel better than I felt at my lowest. But not a ton better. I'm not crying every morning before school though so that's a plus. I've also been extremely depressed though. I believe it may somewhat be caused by the medication. But I also believe its just me. For the first time in my life I've been having suicidal and self harm thoughts almost everyday for over a month. I've been depressed, unable to bring my self to do anything. My grades are slipping fast, but they have been for a few years because in just not motivated anymore. I hate that I'm this way. I've even gone as far as to cut my wrists a few times and it did make me feel better. Even though I know thats not the answer. I also have been getting extremely annoyed and angry for no or little reason. Which I've never done. I've never been moody or angry much. Not like this. I get angry for hours and shut my self away. Ugh. I don't know what's happening. I keep telling my mom I want to go talk to someone. Like a therapist. Our doctor told her I should months ago but she never followed through. Now, whenever I ask, she says that I'm fine and don't need it and ignores it. My mother suffers from bad depression and always tells me I don't know what anxiety or depression is and that I don't have it nearly as bad as she did. And not to sound like a teenager who thinks their mom doesn't understand or anything, but my moms not in my head. She doesn't think how I do. On the outside, I hide it well. Here's a recap of a discussion I had with my mom earlier tonight (my mom previously told me to remind her about seeing someone), "mom. Do you need me to keep reminding you to find a therapist?" "yeah. Have you been like extremely sad lately?" "mom. I already have told you that I have been" "you've just seemed really good lately Hannah. You seem more than fine" "well mom. Sometimes my emotions on the inside are different then those on the outside" "whatever Hannah" None of my friends suspect a thing except for the one I open up to, and she can sometimes see through the happiness and loud exterior I try to our forth to my friends. My question is, how do I get help? Do I need help? How do I help my mon understand? Should I see a therapist? I'm not serious enough for a mental hospital I assume. Even though sometimes I wish I could be in one, to get away from life and get better. Sigh. Any help is appreciated. Thanks for reading. Hannah. Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors. I typed this up on my phone.

i'm told to post if i'm in immediate crisis and in need of immediate peer support. i get to this page and i'm told that it has to be approved and i have to have 1 more approved posts. how immediate is immediate? if i were telling you that i want to OD, right now, what other post is required for me to get some support? i have no money to buy gas or cat food, i have no phone because my minutes have been used up, i can't talk to my Therapist because of the no phone and no gas issue. i'm completely isolated here and i don't know what to do other than to go to the hospital. the issue there is that i was there 3 nights ago, 2 nights ago and both times, they deemed me safe to go home. i know people can't read between lines but when there are no beds available and my options are to go home and suffer in my own bed or sit in an er chair until a bed opens up, i'm going to choose to go home and suffer. but, now, i don't know if that's goin to work. what is working is the excess ativan i'm taking that was placed in a bottle of gatorade. 30mg ativan in 20 oz gatorade. it was going to be used all at once but now, i'm taking 2 swigs of it a night and i know that the amount is way more than the prescribed 2mg/night. i don't know what it's concentration is but, 30 minutes ago i took 2 swigs and now i can't keep my eyes open. oh well. so much for peer support