Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 I fear I am becoming bipolar or something like it. I feel really up one minute followed by a sense of impending doom the next. One minute I will be like "hey I've got my health, my house, my job" but the next "yeah but I will never have the time, energy, money to enjoy anything and my course is perpetual decline". Sometimes I think I should just sell this place and use that money to have fun for a few years. But then it would take time, energy, money to get this place in a sellable condition. But I like the idea of owning a home and hate the idea of renting, especially the kind of place I would rent. I like that I have space in here, don't have upstairs neighbors and can pull the car into the driveway and right up to the door. But everything in the house is ancient and needs to be replaced and so disgusting I don't ever have friends over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 how long has this been going on?But then it would take time, energy, money to get this place in a sellable condition.this reminds me of those renovation shows. some of them are actually good. they only usually do it for couples or families, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 This house could use it. Other families in the neighborhood have renovated but this one continues in a 1960s-70s motif. What I have discovered about money is that unless you have a LOT of it, it is next to useless. Unless you have enough money to afford the very best (car, home, services) then you are screwed because people know you can't afford a lawyer if they fuck you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 Unless you have enough money to afford the very best (car, home, services) then you are screwed because people know you can't afford a lawyer if they fuck you.so true.how long have you had the bipolar-like symptoms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 Believe it or I thought about in those terms very recently. I was hesitant to say anything because I am not big on self diagnosis. But I needed to refer to it in some fashion. The news of what happened in Paris didn't help. I am just fed up and so done w the human race. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 Anytime something good happens for me and I feel good about myself or my life it is just a matter of time (days, hours) before something bad happens and the whole thing comes crashing down. Unreal but it is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 I am just fed up and so done w the human race.don't forget, the true culprit is god. he is to blame for everything. everything in existence is but a puppet to his effing will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 Sounds like it could be different inner voices or parts of yourself. Do the mood swings last a long time?Paris is tragic and disheartening, I hear you. I find comfort in this quote by Fred Rogers. Awful things are happening in the world without a doubt, but I believe there are still many good, kind people in this world too."When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers--so many caring people in this world."I hope you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 Thanks for the words both. When you are young you at least have hope. As you get older that supply of hope gets sparse and you begin to wonder what the point of it all is. I don't even know what I want anymore; much less how to get it. I feel like the answer teases me, I can sense it, but it always alludes me. it escapes back into the forest like skittish prey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TooOld4This Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 My feelings are almost exactly the same as what you describe, VoBN1C.People say, in effect (and sometimes verbatim), "oh, just get a grip."It's not that easy. We would grip it if we could reach it.But it stays just out of reach. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 14, 2015 Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 My feelings are almost exactly the same as what you describe, VoBN1C.People say, in effect (and sometimes verbatim), "oh, just get a grip."It's not that easy. We would grip it if we could reach it.But it stays just out of reach.grip what lol? this isn't a sexual thing, is it? just lightening the mood. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2015 NP Res I can always use a chuckle. Got together w some friends this afternoon and that was good. I really think I need to work on some things that will enable to have more good people in my life. And beyond that just be content. Like a farmer or fisherman has to be content w the harvest and the catch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 15, 2015 Report Share Posted November 15, 2015 ya, the type/quality of people with whom one associates, is very influential on mood (and many other things). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2015 Good point Res. I have rid myself of Ne'er-do-wells in my private life but still encounter them at work. Thankfully where I live is mostly ok at the present time. What's weighing on my mind is house work and shopping. Things that I have to do but don't feel like doing. So it goes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 15, 2015 Report Share Posted November 15, 2015 i hear ya on the housework thing, but i don't mind shopping (specially for groceries and such) that much, provided i have the money etc.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Well if it makes you feel any better, when someone is bipolar they're mood doesn't change up and down throughout a day. Really, periods of mania lasting at least several days, distinguish someone who is bipolar. I forget the exact guidelines but I had a dr explain this all to me in great detail at a point in my life. This particular dr tried to diagnosis me bipolar in 1 visit and subsequently psychosis. I had neither of those. Just a crazy dr. However I got quite the education about bipolar disorder. People often think someone with bipolar is happy one minute and sad the next but that's really wrong. Anyway, I do however relate to what you're saying. I think I'm going through something similar. I also think I mistake fear for sadness. I don't know if it's the same for you. Hope you're able to level out. Victimorthecrime and Resolute 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Thanks smallstar and Res. Maybe the mood disorder is just my reaction to stress? I took an on line assessment for depression and the only question I was not indicated for depression was regarding sleep. I do love to sleep. I can usually talk my way through negative thought and feelings but lately it's seems like that is getting harder and harder to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 I took an on line assessment for depression and the only question I was not indicated for depression was regarding sleep. I do love to sleep. I can usually talk my way through negative thought and feelings but lately it's seems like that is getting harder and harder to do.damn! are you saying that all criteria for depression (except sleep disorders) apply to you? if so, idk how the hell you manage to function, man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Yeah it was a short one on FB, like 5 questions, I wish I could remember them all. I know I said yes to difficulty concentrating and to body aches and I think also low energy. I am just so sick of battling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 body aches shouldn't be related to depression, should it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Well according to this article it can be. I tend to agree but as you have seen I hold a number of questionable beliefs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Well according to this article it can be. I tend to agree but as you have seen I hold a number of questionable beliefs.rofl. it is what it is. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Mind-body connection, yes.Wishing everyone peace and healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Mind-body connection, yes.you just earned yourself a place in the "members with questionable beliefs" section, missy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 LOL to both Res. I am reading Bill Kreutzmann's book and he says that of Owsley Stanley - that he had a number of questionable beliefs. I like that line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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