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Is something wrong with me?


XpzXp

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I am 15 years old and now in the middle of high school, in the last couple of years I had a lot of ups and downs but now I feel very happy where I am mostly. I try to improve myself if it is by picking up girls or working out, but the thing is that for a while now I can't really be happy. By that I mean that I don't laugh and if I am laughing it is just a gigle and not really a laugh usually the only thing that I can't do is smile and all of that is beacuse I can't. I am usually a really happy guy, till a few months I would laugh to a point that I can't breathe just because I saw someone farting, sos what exactly happend to me? I had a period of time which I was depreesed because I was always thinking of the past and I was really sad that I didn't got to do something that I thought that I wouldve done by now. But I already appease with it. I don't know why but as I said I can't laugh and I barely smile and I don't know why, I read somewhere here that there is something called Dysthymia that might explain what I am going through. If it really is the case than what can I do? Should I go to a therapist? Should I take pils? And how can I treat this godamn thing? Because I wanna be happy, I wanna laugh again and be happy as I used to.

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Hello, X., welcome :).

You wrote "for a while now I can't really be happy" - but what does it mean "for a while"? How long? How much has it harmed your everyday life? And did something change in your life around that time / recently?

I think at your age, most young people are more of less confused, troubled, ... What you describe might be dysthymia (we cannot know, we cannot diagnose anyone and, moreover, it's impossible when it's not "in person"), but it seems to me (I may be wrong) you're a bit too much concerned by your mental health. (Mainly, thinking about pills sounds disproportional to me.) What you experience may be a natural state reflecting some aspects of your life, your environment, your attitudes, your unconscious worries and/or conflicts, ... It would surely be good to try to know and understand yourself better and the start of the path to this goal may be accompanied by a counsellor, a psychologist or a therapist - if you feel like giving counselling or therapy a try. But as you don't seem suffering excessively (?), perhaps such professional help wouldn't be necessary. It depends on your opportunities (is some kind of therapy available to you?), on your willingness to "do the work" either yourself or with professional help, as well as on the opinion of the professional (they may say to a potential client that (s)he doesn't seem to need their help).

I have to say there's something in your wish for happiness and for "the good old times" (my words, not quote) that sounds to me... like... somebody who's just realized that his childhood is gone but refuses to accept the new reality and adapt to it. I may be completely wrong - it's just an association that your post triggered in me. More importantly, it also reminds me of the (sad?) truth that happiness isn't something we can set to ourselves as a goal; it's a by-product of "a good life" (good choices and right attitudes, ...) and of a good luck (genetic predispositions, family, environment, ...). I'm sorry I'm now unable to find "the best" quotes (or at least references) which would explain it well to you, but I've found at least this short quote about it:

Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people.

(quoted from here: http://lifehacker.com/happiness-is-not-a-goal-it-is-a-by-product-1574117114 )

What do you think?

I hope I haven't disappointed you... I'm aware that I might have misunderstood you and/or my point of view may seem unhelpful to you. But if you write more about yourself, perhaps we'll understand better and will be more helpful ;).

Take care!

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... Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people.

sorry lala, but i simply can't agree with this.

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