Victimorthecrime Posted March 9, 2016 Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Yeah I agree about Debbie Dunning. Ok here's one: What's the difference between a Rock Star and a pig? A pig won't stay up all to have sex with a pig. Oink oink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 the doctor asks an elderly female patient "how long have you been bedridden, mrs. smith?" she blushes and says "not since my husband died 20 years ago". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted March 9, 2016 Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Hi-Oh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted March 12, 2016 Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 What do you get when you throw a piano down the shaft? A flat minor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 38 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said: A flat minor! just one?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted March 12, 2016 Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 two infant twins who are always competing for their mother's attention are always quarreling. one day, one of them decides to kill the other one, so after he's done nursing, he rubs some poison on his mother's nipple so his sibling will die from the poison during breastfeeding. anyway, he goes to sleep saying to himself "once i wake up, my twin will be gone". hours later he wakes up to his mother screaming and crying; he looks around and he realizes that his father had died instead. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 on another episode of home improvement, tim has an argument with his wife, and accuses her of looking down on him and his brothers (because she insinuates that his brother isn't good enough for her sister). so when he's doing a show on wood and they're using a table made of pine, he tries to use a piece of ash wood (butterfly) to insert in the table, when his assistant (al) reminds him that he can't use ash on a pine table because pine is a fine grain wood and ash is a coarse grain, so "they don't go together". tim asks al "are you saying that your wood is better than my wood?" and they continue bickering, until finally tim says "well, your pine can kiss my ash". mts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 two children, a boy and a girl, are playing together, when the boy takes out his willy and asks the girl "do you have one of these?" the girl says no. he makes fun of her and makes her cry. a few days later the same thing happens and he makes her cry again. the third time, when he asks her the same question she says no, and again he starts teasing her about it, this time she doesn't cry and instead she shows him her vagina and says "my mom says that with one of these i can get as many of those (points to his penis) as i want". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 4 minutes ago, Klingsor said: I don't know, but you can bet your sweet ass I don't want any damn Cheerios..." lmao. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazz Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 A car was involved in an accident. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I'm the son of the victim!" The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 welcome to our cave, jazzy. you don't mind racy humor, do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazz Posted May 14, 2016 Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 I can cope Couldn't resist knocking at the entrance to the cave.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 rofl. good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted July 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 an officer gets assigned to a post somewhere in the desert in the middle of nowhere. when he gets there, he notices that there are no women on the base, so he asks one of the other officers there "what do you guys do for sex?" the guy says "we just use that camel". so one day when he's feeling really horny, he remembers what that guy said and he goes and has his way with the camel. the next day him and the guys are in the cafeteria he mentions his night with the camel and everyone starts scolding him. he exclaims "i thought you said that you all used the camel?" the guy says "yes, we use the camel to go into town where there are women!". mts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TooOld4This Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 Since this is a Man Cave, i think it's an appropriate place for me to say that i'm stoked by the thought that we Americans might possibly elect a woman as our president. If we do, then sometime next year there might be a summit-meeting where the leaders of the USA, the UK, and Germany meet and they'd all be women. Regardless of what you think of Theresa May or Hillary Clinton, that would be very cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 So this guy tells me: after my wife left I spent close to $2,000 on cocaine and prostitutes. Man was she pissed when she got home from work that night. Resolute 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 A blonde woman was speeding down a highway only to be pulled over by a female officer, who was also a blonde. "May I see your license Miss?" asked the officer eagerly. The driver looked in her purse, agitated at first, before admitting she didn't know what a license was. ''It's a square thingy with your face on it" insisted the officer. The driver immediately reached for her pocket mirror and handed it to the waiting officer. After studying the mirror for a few moments the officer shrieks "Wow! You're a cop too?!". Klingsor and gone 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Good one, Small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Good one, Small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 1 hour ago, retr0john said: Three phase isn't hard to deal with. You sound like you're very familiar with wiring, it'd be easy for you. You should get that old Farmall and at least tear it down. It's not doing anything right now. It's just rusting away. Satisfy your own curiosity by tearing it apart. If you decide to not restore it, nothing harmed. I think you'd enjoy it. You're good with your hands, and you're technically minded. If you didn't get bored with it, I think you'd do a great job on the restoration. are you intentionally giving me material? allow me to demonstrate: Quote That ass isn't hard to deal with. You sound like you're very familiar with spanking, she'd be easy for you. You should get that old farmella and at least tear her down. She's not doing anything right now. She's just busting away. Satisfy your own appetite by tearing her apart. If you decide to not respect her, nothing harmed. I think you'd enjoy it. You're good with your hands, and you're filthy minded. If you didn't get bored with her, I think you'd do a great job on the penetration. gone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Incorrigible..... Resolute 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, retr0john said: Incorrigible..... that brings back memories, doesn't it? the forum was so lively then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2017 8 hours ago, Pax said: Don't we all. This place is Bitch Central. But what else can you do when you feel like screaming at the world or tearing things apart. 8 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said: You hit the nail on the head Pax. I have been going through a stressful time where I am plagued by bad memories and regrets. And also fears around the future. I'm not ready jump off a bridge or anything but I'm not a happy camper. that's klingsor for you... whenever bitches or nailing, or tearing things apart is involved, kling is there. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted April 18, 2017 Report Share Posted April 18, 2017 If resolute is incorrigible, then I must be insatiable. Small is indeterminable. Victim is ineluctable. Beth is inimitable. John is indelible. Small 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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