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Resolute

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two infant twins who are always competing for their mother's attention are always quarreling. one day, one of them decides to kill the other one, so after he's done nursing, he rubs some poison on his mother's nipple so his sibling will die from the poison during breastfeeding. anyway, he goes to sleep saying to himself "once i wake up, my twin will be gone". hours later he wakes up to his mother screaming and crying; he looks around and he realizes that his father had died instead. :D

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on another episode of home improvement, tim has an argument with his wife, and accuses her of looking down on him and his brothers (because she insinuates that his brother isn't good enough for her sister). so when he's doing a show on wood and they're using a table made of pine, he tries to use a piece of ash wood (butterfly) to insert in the table, when his assistant (al) reminds him that he can't use ash on a pine table because pine is a fine grain wood and ash is a coarse grain, so "they don't go together". tim asks al "are you saying that your wood is better than my wood?" and they continue bickering, until finally tim says "well, your pine can kiss my ash".

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two children, a boy and a girl, are playing together, when the boy takes out his willy and asks the girl "do you have one of these?" the girl says no. he makes fun of her and makes her cry. a few days later the same thing happens and he makes her cry again. the third time, when he asks her the same question she says no, and again he starts teasing her about it, this time she doesn't cry and instead she shows him her vagina and says "my mom says that with one of these i can get as many of those (points to his penis) as i want".

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  • 2 months later...

A car was involved in an accident. As expected, a large crowd gathered.

A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I'm the son of the victim!"

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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  • 2 months later...

an officer gets assigned to a post somewhere in the desert in the middle of nowhere. when he gets there, he notices that there are no women on the base, so he asks one of the other officers there "what do you guys do for sex?" the guy says "we just use that camel". so one day when he's feeling really horny, he remembers what that guy said and he goes and has his way with the camel. the next day him and the guys are in the cafeteria he mentions his night with the camel and everyone starts scolding him. he exclaims "i thought you said that you all used the camel?" the guy says "yes, we use the camel to go into town where there are women!". :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

Since this is a Man Cave, i think it's an appropriate place for me to say that i'm stoked by the thought that we Americans might possibly elect a woman as our president.  If we do, then sometime next year there might be a summit-meeting where the leaders of the USA, the UK, and Germany meet and they'd all be women.  Regardless of what you think of Theresa May or Hillary Clinton, that would be very cool.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 months later...

A blonde woman was speeding down a highway only to be pulled over by a female officer, who was also a blonde. "May I see your license Miss?" asked the officer eagerly. The driver looked in her purse, agitated at first, before admitting she didn't know what a license was. 

 

''It's a square thingy with your face on it" insisted the officer. The driver immediately reached for her pocket mirror and handed it to the waiting officer. After studying the mirror for a few moments the officer shrieks "Wow! You're a cop too?!".

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  • 3 months later...
1 hour ago, retr0john said:

Three phase isn't hard to deal with. You sound like you're very familiar with wiring, it'd be easy for you.

You should get that old Farmall and at least tear it down. It's not doing anything right now. It's just rusting away. Satisfy your own curiosity by tearing it apart. If you decide to not restore it, nothing harmed. I think you'd enjoy it. You're good with your hands, and you're technically minded. If you didn't get bored with it, I think you'd do a great job on the restoration. 

are you intentionally giving me material? allow me to demonstrate:

Quote

That ass isn't hard to deal with. You sound like you're very familiar with spanking, she'd be easy for you.

You should get that old farmella and at least tear her down. She's not doing anything right now. She's just busting away. Satisfy your own appetite by tearing her apart. If you decide to not respect her, nothing harmed. I think you'd enjoy it. You're good with your hands, and you're filthy minded. If you didn't get bored with her, I think you'd do a great job on the penetration. 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Pax said:

Don't we all. This place is Bitch Central. But what else can you do when you feel like screaming at the world or tearing things apart. 

 

8 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

You hit the nail on the head Pax. I have been going through a stressful time where I am plagued by bad memories and regrets.  And also fears around the future. I'm not ready jump off a bridge or anything but I'm not a happy camper.  

that's klingsor for you... whenever bitches or nailing, or tearing things apart is involved, kling is there. :D

 

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