My (Short) Story

[emed27]

YOTHW:  How can you complain about a 5.5 inch penis,man that close to 6, the medium sized. You know how many people who are worse wish to be like you. Me included. My life is worse. I want to end my life, and I think Iam gonna do it soon. I can't live like this any longer. On top of that Iam very chubby, dark and ugly. As in COMPLETLY unattractive. Iam also completely wierd and mentally unstable. I have no hope in life. I don't know why I told u this. I just don know what to do. 

[emed27]

YOTHW:  How can you complain about a 5.5 inch penis,man that close to 6, the medium sized. You know how many people who are worse wish to be like you. Me included. My life is worse. I want to end my life, and I think Iam gonna do it soon. I can't live like this any longer. On top of that Iam very chubby, dark and ugly. As in COMPLETLY unattractive. Iam also completely wierd and mentally unstable. I have no hope in life. I don't know why I told u this. I just don know what to do. 

[YOTH]

3 hours ago, emed27 said:

 

[YOTH]

3 hours ago, emed27 said:

 

[YOTH]

12 hours ago, emed27 said:

YOTHW:  How can you complain about a 5.5 inch penis,man that close to 6, the medium sized. You know how many people who are worse wish to be like you. Me included. My life is worse. I want to end my life, and I think Iam gonna do it soon. I can't live like this any longer. On top of that Iam very chubby, dark and ugly. As in COMPLETLY unattractive. Iam also completely wierd and mentally unstable. I have no hope in life. I don't know why I told u this. I just don know what to do. 

I know it seems hopeless right now, and I'm well aware that if I was talking to me 15 years ago I'd have a difficult time convincing myself that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I was suicidal too, even weighed up the options a few times. For me there are few factors that I don't mention in my story, being abused and what have you, but that neither here nor there. You're important, Emed. You're the most important person in your life, and you have to have your own back. You HAVE to! Forget penis size, forget comparison, it's bigger than all of that. You're a good human being with one flaw that society deems unworthy, but so what? If your story ends in depression and suicide, then why bother coming on here? Why bother reaching out at all? Because that's not the end you want. You want a solution, and I promise you I have it. But you have to look in the mirror and forgive yourself for having a small cock, and it isn't easy. But you've beaten yourself up for long enough and it's time to be a big brother to your own sanity. There are people out there that give a shit and I'm one of them. You're loved here. You're valued and respected as a brother, in pain, but not in weakness. Forgiveness is a key to a prison cell and the realisation that it was you trapped inside all along. 

Don't give up, Emed. ☮&❤

[RonaldU]

On 20/1/2017 at 4:21 AM, emed27 said:

 The reason I say "worse" is because erect Iam 4.5 maybe 4.8 on a good day, (non bone pressed. I never bone press, I kinda consider that cheating)

Funny, because according to that, you can grow your penis just doing exercise.

In fact if you are overweight as you say, if you are going to measure non bone pressed, it's a great idea to go to the gym.

Bone pressed is your functional real penis length. Non bone pressed is just apperance.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Yahweh, you've been through the dammed ringer!  You had some of the kinds of encounters that I'd always feared, but managed to avoid.  I wonder if that made you a bit stronger in character, honestly.  Even though you became a jerk for a while, perhaps, you nonetheless resolved to stand up for yourself, and that's vital.  I see you being a strong advocate for the guys who are really down in the dumps here. Thanks for that.

A quick commentary on bulge anxiety.  That's been a big factor for me, but I have somehow - much of the time - gotten beyond it.  I try to stay in reasonable shape ( I tend to run a bit heavy, left to my own habits), and I also wear fairly tight/stretchy fitting jeans most of the time.  I don't really even get how I changed my view here, but I almost feel as if being sheepish and hiding my crotch with posture and loose clothing is worse than confidently just being comfortable. I've also come to believe that women (at least in my age group) know about "growers" like you and me, and don't get too worried about modest bulging... As long as they see something, they get interested, as my bizarre logic goes! ?  I could be deluded, but it gives me great relief to just be physically relaxed with a smallish bulge and not fret over it.

[YOTH]

On 22/01/2017 at 7:15 AM, emed27 said:

 

[YOTH]

11 hours ago, u.r.what.u.is said:

Yahweh, you've been through the dammed ringer!  You had some of the kinds of encounters that I'd always feared, but managed to avoid.  I wonder if that made you a bit stronger in character, honestly.  Even though you became a jerk for a while, perhaps, you nonetheless resolved to stand up for yourself, and that's vital.  I see you being a strong advocate for the guys who are really down in the dumps here. Thanks for that.

A quick commentary on bulge anxiety.  That's been a big factor for me, but I have somehow - much of the time - gotten beyond it.  I try to stay in reasonable shape ( I tend to run a bit heavy, left to my own habits), and I also wear fairly tight/stretchy fitting jeans most of the time.  I don't really even get how I changed my view here, but I almost feel as if being sheepish and hiding my crotch with posture and loose clothing is worse than confidently just being comfortable. I've also come to believe that women (at least in my age group) know about "growers" like you and me, and don't get too worried about modest bulging... As long as they see something, they get interested, as my bizarre logic goes! ?  I could be deluded, but it gives me great relief to just be physically relaxed with a smallish bulge and not fret over it.

I still catches me off guard tbh. And with the summer coming I'm determined to not be a head case the whole time. There are things I could do to lessen the issue, like tight fitting jeans and what have you, just have to buy some. I'm not gonna lie, that time of year really stresses me out. Trying to get past this has been a journey with a lot of ups and downs, in the summer, mainly downs. But I've had enough hiding away from the world to last a lifetime, so I'll be posting a lot probably. One day at a time and all that bollocks ?

[Wayless]

On ‎8‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 2:25 PM, YOTH said:

In my teens and early 20's I was on the verge of suicide over my penis size. I'm 5.5 inches erect, but my flaccid penis can shrink to almost nothing depending on weather/working out/anxiety. The first girl who ever saw my penis simply walked off...yep, said nothing, walked off. I was 15, she was 16. She looked, and said she had to go. Her friend came back and said she wasn't looking for a relationship right now. I was gutted. I had had a long term girlfriend when I was 12-14, but it was never sexual, and I'm glad we broke up before it turned sexual or could be ruined by 'the reveal'. I still hold my first love dear, and thank Christ it didn't end like so many others. Over the years I watched all my friends hook up with girls and discard them like used condoms as I sat on the sidelines in a world of shit. When I was 17 I met a girl and we started dating. I didn't find her sexually attractive, but I needed someone. I had 0% confidence in the sack and would get blind drunk on strong lager before we got intimate. This did NOT help my performance one iota and I would often lose my erection and become extremely frustrated. I could get harder than a robots cock at home, but on the mainstage I'd become anxious and blow it. My friends made fun of me behind my back and my family were no better. I know they didn't mean anything by it, not really. I was just an easy target for them to shift the attention away from their own insecurities. But people can be really cruel sometimes. One particular time a friend of friend called my girlfriend ugly and said she deserved a little dick. I ended up in more fights than I care to remember, but even if I won, the reasons for fighting hurt more than any punch. Events like this weren't rare and would eat me up inside. I was unbelievably angry back then and a truly horrible person to be around, especially if I was drunk. I would attack as a form of 'defence' and could be really cruel. I can't even count the amount of embarrassing penis related incidents during my youth, they were a regular occurrence. I once had my shorts pulled down at a football match and I thought I would die right there on the spot. From comments at parties while I was stood right there causing a punch up to snide comments that were hidden poorly but enough for plausible deniability. As every small penised man knows showers are a no no. In school I said it was 'gay' for men to shower together and wouldn't go in. My school work suffered and I was always in trouble. The summer was a nightmare for me. Too hot to wear a coat to cover my ever changing bulge, it would cripple me with anxiety. To be honest, my bulge is still a major factor in all my remaining anxiety's. I avoided all sexual relationships like the plague, often sabotaging potential relationships early on. When I was 25 I met my now wife. I fell in love with her. She was cute but insecure like me. I decided to treat her like a princess instead of my usual song and dance. She was being bullied by her roommates and I put them in their place. We were a team, quickly becoming inseparable. I soon found out she'd fallen in love with me too. I can't even explain the anxiety I had about the impending sex, I'd almost faint thinking about it. In my head it was a full gone conclusion, my true love wouldn't have no choice but to reject me. So desperate I went to the doctor and he prescribed Viagra. I was juicing, but I needed to be at my best, leave nothing to chance. At first, all encounters were awkward, but technically successful. Over the next year I became more and more confident and stopped the Viagra. I started to find out what I was capable of sexually. I started to figure out which positions were advantageous and what else I could incorporate into the bedroom. This is a must for the small penised man. One year later, she was pregnant with my first child, and then, I had a family. It was like a dream sometimes. How did I get here from the spare room of my auntie's house contemplating suicide over my dick? It's been 10 years since then. I thank God I found my soul mate. Although a soul mate isn't necessarily needed for happiness. Turns out just having someone who doesn't use your physical shortcomings as a weapon is heaven itself. Over the last few years I've become very adventurous sexually and I now realise that being 'good in bed' is 90% confidence. Of course a big cock would be advantageous, but as a small man, I have to cover more bases and as a result I can be really creative. I mean EVERYONE is lying about how great they are in bed, we're just not honest enough with eachother to even mention something that makes us look less manly, and as men on a whole, we suffer. And a lot of men are just on the lookout for a conversation where they can show how much of a stud they are. I feel the pain of the SPS community, and it breaks my heart to read the posts from men like myself suffering from what can be the cruelest torture any human could endure. It is looked at as a joke and ignored leaving many men in a living hell. Life isn't perfect, but is it ever? I still get very anxious sometimes, it's something I still have to work on. It is dark sometimes, but a light switch is just one stubbed toe away.
 

My story is similar in that my flaccid is very very small.  But, my erection was only 4.5, so I actually had something noticeable to worry about there too.  I don't think any of my partners ever saw me flaccid.  That would have been a disaster.  Also, I was lucky that I could get blind drunk and still fuck.  For some reason, maybe size, no girl ever orgasmed from insertion with me, but I could eat their pussies to orgasm OK.