Reality, and introspection.

[Tekka]

So, as some few people may know, I tend to philosophize. I don't mean just a little here and there, but a great deal greater than even Neizch or Descartes ever did.

This has lead me to many conclusions, and a problem. I'm growing further unsure of life and what makes something real, because of my already present issues, and these following ideas.

See for yourself what I mean:

1)History is a chain of memories. Forgetting something means it never existed, and perception determines reality.

2)One cannot be sure of anything: no true absolutes exist, only faith in consistency and passion of motive determine cause and ideas.

3) Some things I cannot prove: reality is fluid and changes easily (meaning something may be one thing and spontaneously become another), and I determine existence entirely by myself.

The second part of the last one is strange. I can't explain it, but somehow, someway I literally see differently than everyone else. Basically, if I didn't see this way, there wouldn't be any observers AT ALL. I can't prove it, but it's somehow the only consistent thing I know of.

If everyone saw this way, somehow, then it would be a single screen on some omnipotent entity's security screen.

What's happened is that I don't care about reality anymore. I don't feel much sensation physically or emotionally (although I was like this before the ideas came), and believe that by dying, everything will cease  to exist.