List for pdoc (thoughts on if it could be?)

[ancientangel]

I see my pdoc next week. I'm undiagnosed currently but I highly suspect ADHD. SO I hope no one minds if I throw out a few symptoms and happenings, and you guys can give me your thoughts.
* I realize no one here can diagnose me, that's not what I'm asking for. I'm asking if anyone who IS diagnosed can relate/thinks ADHD is likely (I will not take that as a diagnosis)

• I forget things constantly. It's like I can't keep a hold of my memories. They slip away.. And small stuff too. For example, today I forgot 3 times that a friend of mine had responded to my text, and wondered each time why I hadn't heard from them
• I LOSE things constantly, according to my father. Especially my tablet pen, but that's an artist thing  
• I cannot, I repeat, cannot focus on things that do not vividly interest me.
• Art has been the only thing I keep coming back to my whole life
• If it requires mental effort, I"m out. I used to LOVE reading when I was young (probs 5-10) and then it just stopped...
• don't even get me started on school work. I dropped out of high school a couple weeks ago (But I'm gonna do some tutor work) because I just COULDN'T
• I'm not hyperactive at all, the only symptom I have is restlessness which is probably related but that's it -- I'm thinking inattentive 
• I hyperfixate/focus on things, the most random things. Right now it's angels, drugs, and getting a diagnosis (Seriously? Ikr, the thing that's causing the fixation is what I'm fixated on)
• And the biggest pain in my a** is when I get overstimulated so easily??? Like I cried in the middle of a walmart because the lights and noise and people were all too much

I tried to keep all of that short (I failed) because for me, reading/focusing on huge walls of text is challenging, and I know other people with ADHD complain about that as well in the mental health communities I've been in.

[IrmaJean]

Angel, how are your social relationships? Friendships? I have two daughters who struggle with sensory issues...lights, noise, and commotion in the environment can make it difficult for them to cope. Do you have a quiet space you can go to relax and recharge?

I hope your pdoc has some answers for you. Take care.

[LaLa]

I remember that @Ralph , as an adult, has ADHD, but he hasn't visited this site for quite a while now. Perhaps you could send him a private message, if you'd like to.

Anyway; it's very useful to have such a list when going to a pdoc - good for you! I hope you'll be well understood and, first of all, receive good advise and effective treatment!

BTW, have you searched for some life-style changes you could make to alleviate these symptoms? For instance here:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/easing-adhd.aspx

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-self-help.htm

Good luck!

[ancientangel]

On February 19, 2017 at 3:43 PM, IrmaJean said:

Angel, how are your social relationships? Friendships? I have two daughters who struggle with sensory issues...lights, noise, and commotion in the environment can make it difficult for them to cope. Do you have a quiet space you can go to relax and recharge?

I hope your pdoc has some answers for you. Take care.

I tend to jump from romantic relationship to relationship, I get bored easily even if I do care for the person. Friendships are online and require little effort so they're sustainable... But all throughout middle and high school I struggled with irl friends because of anxiety and also the effort required to put in was overwhelming.

As for the sensory issues, yeah it's overwhelming and causes meltdowns even now at 17. Granted I can control them sort of until I get home but then I break down. 

My home is calm, but so dirty I'm constantly overwhelmed.. So sort of, on your second question. 

[IrmaJean]

I hope you can be gentle with yourself, Angel. It can be stressful to cope with so many external stimuli when a person is very sensitive to this and has difficulty processing all of it. That happens to my daughters too. You aren't alone in this.

Interesting that my daughters also love art! Is art a refuge for you? I know it is for them. Do you have any favorite subject matter or mediums that you use? E loves to paint animals and she also loves digital art.

Take care. I hope you have a serene day.

[ancientangel]

11 hours ago, IrmaJean said:

I hope you can be gentle with yourself, Angel. It can be stressful to cope with so many external stimuli when a person is very sensitive to this and has difficulty processing all of it. That happens to my daughters too. You aren't alone in this.

Interesting that my daughters also love art! Is art a refuge for you? I know it is for them. Do you have any favorite subject matter or mediums that you use? E loves to paint animals and she also loves digital art.

Take care. I hope you have a serene day.

Art is a bit refuge for me. I also love digital art and I paint wolves quite a bit!~ 

[LovingTheAlien]

@ancientangel I find art to be my own personal refuge. But even that can fall in and out of my favour, especially painting or drawing. I can be extremely enthusiastic for a short time then ditch it on a whim. I went undiagnosed through childhood, I was one year out of it being recognised as an actual condition, so I was put in 'motivated children' (disruptive kids class). Although, I recently went back to night school to get my English GCSE in 2014 and told my teacher that I struggle in classroom situations especially if I'm not interested in what is being taught (Shakespeare) to just understand I'm not being belligerent on purpose. She seemed to take it as a personal insult and I had a terrible time there, although I passed barely with a C. One of the more telling moments for me was when I went to college in 2010 doing a course in food hygiene and also in bartending. The lady who was in charge of the course had done the food hygiene class over 200 times and I thoroughly enjoyed it. When I came back to college the next day she was doing the bartending course and admitted before it started it was her first time. After about 10-15 minutes I became really irate and agitated, at one point I actually shouted out loud "fucks sake". I pretended I banged my leg on the table and left the room and didn't go back. I found this to be quite telling as the same teacher was teaching me two separate courses one she did over 200x times and one which she'd never done before, and it stands to reason that she held my attention in the first class because she was so knowledgeable and practiced, but in the second class she didn't have a clue and I was fantasising about ringing her bloody neck lol. 

It's taken my girlfriend over 10 years to understand the subtleties of my attention problems. The one she is baffled by is how she can be talking to me and I don't respond. I know I'm being spoken to, but it's like they're on a different frequency. She then shouts at me and I shout back because she shouted to get my attention and I respond like she's speaking for the first time. She now puts her hand on my shoulder until I'm looking at her like "what?" She then says "didn't you hear me?" I say "no", she repeats it and I answer. I told her that she'll know when I'm ignoring her on purpose because I'll make a joke out of it like saying "waaaaa?" Or "Ehhh"? But If I don't respond, I'm zoned out and don't mean to be rude. 

It took me until I settled down and raised a family to keep out of trouble. 

My life wasn't rosey by any stretch (not an excuse) but I was always in trouble and ended up in jail for a few months. After that I ditched my old friends and moved away for a fresh start. I still struggle with it every day (some more than others) and sometimes it's really fucking tiring, especially repeating things in my head, songs or phrases etc (although that sounds OCD it seems to happen when I'm hyperactive). But it gets easier with time and age. And I truly believe it's an artist's condition, it keeps the mind rolladex flipping and is great for new ideas and musical leaps, but you probably already know that from your art. 

[bizzarecontact]

i'm exactly like you bro you'r not alone!!  what can we do? nothing i believe. people like us are good at nothing ,ADHD is an obstacle 

i like reading but more than 10 minutes puts me to sleep

i remember i was better at everything when i was young under 15 yo , the older i get the more i become stupid/forgetful/daydreamer/morron etc...

all my family asking me and blaming  frequently why i do not drive cars and i'm almost 30 yo i tell them i can't f***king concentrate , even if i could learn ,daydreaming will certainly cause me an accident ,they do not want to understand me or believe me and they re ask me  again over and over the same question , i cried many times only god can help us and he knows our pain so only one advice pray your god try to be a good man ,donate always to help poor people all kind of problems and pain that humain can feel/see in this life are nothing compared to an eternal hell .thank god anyway...