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25 minutes ago, TinyBlackDick said:

Double impact is my favourite JCVD movie. Haven't seen it in a while. I watched Lion heart a month back. Great movie too but it's one that I had all but forgotten about.

They're on my list. I haven't watched some of these since my early & preteens so it's a treat. Some of JCVD's recent films are refreshing. Not sure what it was called but he played an assassin (that took his pay in diamonds) & I genuinely liked it. He was brutal and unforgiving, not a typical wannabe hero type.

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@TinyBlackDick

Nice stuff man. The secondary school I went to had a lot of black kids, and a handful of them competed in athletic tournaments. One guy missed a lot of school because he would run the 200m or something. I was so shit. On sports day my friends and I bought sweets and watched from the sidelines. Or in some cases went home early. I was a good defender in football (soccer), in that I was a good judge on how to mark & when to tackle. But, I was always smaller & weaker with stamina issues, so the body didn't exactly agree with the mind. 

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5 minutes ago, TinyBlackDick said:

I used to do really well in the relay and 100m sprints as a kid around 6, 7, 8  years of age at school. I managed to get bronze silver and gold medals competing at primary school level. I was even nicknamed the cheetah. The kids around the township (where I lived at the time) were really impressed by my speed and wanted to see me run. On my bike I could take anyone of the older kids on with bigger bikes and beat them convincingly.

BUT!!!!

 When I went to a new school I got intimidated at the sight of bigger kids that I'd have to compete alongside with. I tried to calm my nerves but I couldnt. I caved and did not compete. That was the end of my brilliance at something, and the start of my failure at life. Whereas i used to run for medals, now I run from problems. Looking back i had great fucking potential. To not be overly harsh on myself over the Athletics thing I say "I was a kid, who thought like a kid, and behaved/reacted like a kid". I feel if my parents had mentored me about life and not giving up, giving it your best shot yada yada yada I may have had a chance...but hey, I made the choice and it's too late now. 

Oh yeah, dude, I've seen myself as a failure as well. Especially when it comes to my siblings. Both my brother(twin) and sister are remarkably smarter then I. I have a failed marriage. I never was school smart. Always the class clown and such. Now it's later in life and I'm still trying to figure it all out. Slowly but surely my life has turned around. It's a tough go though, with the constant failure of things. I have my days where I don't want to get out of bed. Hence me going to therapy for depression to go along with the issues I've had/have with my penis as well. It's a battle seemingly on the daily! 

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It sucks to be so outdone by people that were once your peers. I won't say who, but a girl I had most my classes with is now a successful model/actress on the world stage :( She did acting work as a young teen too, and missed a lot of school for it. I avoid watching the stuff she's in because it's all round triggering. I saw her pic on a billboard once & it made my stomach churn. Another guy is a fairly recognizable model. He was a real bully back then. Ugh. I hated him. Prick.

 

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44 minutes ago, Small said:

It sucks to be so outdone by people that were once your peers. I won't say who, but a girl I had most my classes with is now a successful model/actress on the world stage :( She did acting work as a young teen too, and missed a lot of school for it. I avoid watching the stuff she's in because it's all round triggering. I saw her pic on a billboard once & it made my stomach churn. Another guy is a fairly recognizable model. He was a real bully back then. Ugh. I hated him. Prick.

 

Just yesterday I met someone I went to primary school with. He is married and has his own company, doing very well for himself. A couple of my highschool buddies are now owning their own companies or working for big corporates driving expensive German sedans blah blah blah...yah sucks but that's life i guess.

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56 minutes ago, Griz said:

Oh yeah, dude, I've seen myself as a failure as well. Especially when it comes to my siblings. Both my brother(twin) and sister are remarkably smarter then I. I have a failed marriage. I never was school smart. Always the class clown and such. Now it's later in life and I'm still trying to figure it all out. Slowly but surely my life has turned around. It's a tough go though, with the constant failure of things. I have my days where I don't want to get out of bed. Hence me going to therapy for depression to go along with the issues I've had/have with my penis as well. It's a battle seemingly on the daily! 

Yeah I have toyed around with the idea of therapy for a while. I don't have medical aid so it would be very expensive for me. I also hate the idea that I have to pay someone to listen to my sob story particularly because I don't even think they can help me. 

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1 hour ago, TinyBlackDick said:

I used to do really well in the relay and 100m sprints as a kid around 6, 7, 8  years of age at school. I managed to get bronze silver and gold medals competing at primary school level. I was even nicknamed the cheetah. The kids around the township (where I lived at the time) were really impressed by my speed and wanted to see me run. On my bike I could take anyone of the older kids on with bigger bikes and beat them convincingly.

BUT!!!!

 When I went to a new school I got intimidated at the sight of bigger kids that I'd have to compete alongside with. I tried to calm my nerves but I couldnt. I caved and did not compete. That was the end of my brilliance at something, and the start of my failure at life. Whereas i used to run for medals, now I run from problems. Looking back i had great fucking potential. To not be overly harsh on myself over the Athletics thing I say "I was a kid, who thought like a kid, and behaved/reacted like a kid". I feel if my parents had mentored me about life and not giving up, giving it your best shot yada yada yada I may have had a chance...but hey, I made the choice and it's too late now. 

that's a total shame, tbd. :( i know it's of little consolation, but i'm sure you can beat small with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back. :D

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10 minutes ago, Small said:

We were discussing what sized tampons to get you for your birthday & didn't want to spoil the surprise. 

damn! they have different sizes! only a seasoned tampon user would know i guess. :D

seriously tho, if i've pissed you off, i'll stop.

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That is not my idea of manhood. I was just letting tbd know he isn't alone and that it reminds me of one more thing I couldn't do that 99.9% of other boys do growing up. I could've tried and failed and been a bench sitter and a loser publicly, instead I chose to avoid the humiliation. Same with every other activity I've pursued. So to answer the OP, I pass time in front of a computer either looking at bullshit or pornography. Or posting on the mental support community about passing time. 

 

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I'm sorry 

1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Its not my idea of manhood either, I was just joking. As usual, thought it was obvious and it wasn't.  Someday this whole fucking thing will be over.  It can't come too soon for me.  Human beings are a freak accident of evolution that never should have happened.  

I apologize victim. When you've lived my life you become hyper defensive. I completely agree.

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